Wife having an affair and suddenly asking for a divorce
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Exactly. If someone wants to leave, then leave.0
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If his wife has been 'unhappy for some time' maybe she could have communicated this BEFORE having an affair?
Sorry to hear what's happened to you OP.
Yes, absolutely. I don't see how it has suddenly become the OP's fault.
So sorry, OP, hope you can get something sorted. Do you have a relative who could be a 'proxy parent' for you, while you are out of the country, to keep an eye on your daughter? Maybe get something legally drawn up?
(I don't know whether this is even possible, just came into my head, so sorry if it is not helpful).(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
It sounds a very lonely life. Your wife was the major breadwinner and was looking forward to you qualifying and having a normal family life and now you are still going to be an absent husband and father.
I don't agree women only cheat with men who are "something special " in my experience most women cheat with a man who pays them attention and makes them feel good about themselves whilst their husband takes them for granted. Looks or money have little to do with it.
So the way to sort it is not to have an affair behind his back, is it?(AKA HRH_MUngo)
Member #10 of £2 savers club
Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton0 -
I don't understand how you can be so certain that she is having an affair though - the only reason you have to think that is based on her location according to google maps. Maybe she genuinely was at work or visiting a friend? Or the gps was glitching?
It seems a bit premature to be thinking about custody arrangements already, when you don't definitely know what is going on.0 -
I don't agree women only cheat with men who are "something special " in my experience most women cheat with a man who pays them attention and makes them feel good about themselves whilst their husband takes them for granted. Looks or money have little to do with it.
I'd imagine most people, men or women cheat because they feel neglected by their partners. I'm sure many others cheat just because they can't stop sleeping around. Can't really see what difference gender makes.0 -
hi
I don't think it helps your situation to be looking at blame
Do you want a reconciliation?
Can you still have a conversation with your wife?
she knows your situation regarding work, can you discuss not making any moves towards divorce or custody until you are back in the country- ie wait a year.
if everything has completely hopelessly broken down and your child is going to spend more time with this other man you need to know more about him
Do you have any extended family support- eg parents?
so good case scenario you can fix your marriage or delay divorce until back in country
bad case - he has something dodgy about him you need to speak to lawyer now so that he only spends time with your daughter in presence third party or not at all while you are away0 -
I really hate how one sided this forum is. If a woman appears on here saying their husband is having an affair the man is ripped apart. If a man says his wife is having an affair apparently it's still the mans fault. People really need to take a look at themselves and start to consider why their attitudes are so sexist.
I think, sadly it’s a general view society shares about woman. I once known a friend who got beaten by his wife. He tried to report it to the police and was laugh about it. Had it been the other way round we all know how it would have ended...
I don’t quite agree there is always a double element of fault, whenever a couple is mentioned. Circumstances change, it’s always possible for one of the parts to somehow want something more, just for the sake of fun. And once the rules of the marriage are broken, the sky is the limit.
She withheld dialogue, just because it had the option to do so and feels it’s on her own right to carry on, having a child as her way to say that I don’t have any other family that can keep her and I cannot keep her myself at the moment, because of the arrangements we BOTH agreed earlier. So in essence, I either ask her to move out of the house and lose my job or I do nothing and let the other guy come into the house I’m paying for while away to do God knows what...
I feel on a dead end now… It’s always complicated when there are children involved.0 -
You need to speak to a solicitor and also find out about this other man0
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You can't divorce until you've been separated for a year ....
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The above statement is incorrect, You can't divorce until you've been married for a year.
I cant say whether you should divorce your wife or not as that depends on whether or not your marriage has irretrievably broken down.
My advice is focus on you daughter as it seems that she's the most important thing in your life.0 -
The OP sounds very passive.
His wife wants a divorce ....no what can I do to save the marriage. Maybe the marriage died a while ago as neither of you seem to want to change anything OP?I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole
MSE Florida wedding .....no problem0
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