Money Moral Dilemma: How much board should I charge?

scotsbob wrote: »

The discussion here is all about a difference of £10

It's family, why argue over a tenner?

One day parents may have to go into care, I hope the daughter remembers their stinginess when that time comes.

On the contrary, I hope when the selfish daughter realises just how much it costs to live in the real world, she will appreciate how much her family did to support her financially when she was a student.

And do you realise how much 'a tenner' means to a family who are struggling?

scotsbob wrote: »

The discussion here is all about a difference of £10

It's family, why argue over a tenner?

One day parents may have to go into care, I hope the daughter remembers their stinginess when that time comes.

Totally agreed!

When my daughter left college 3 yrs ago and got a full time job, I also lost my CTcredits and WTcredits because she was no longer a student. My income halved, and hers increased x5 times.

We worked out the cost of all the household bills (exc personal bills) and halved it and she gave me £200 per mth......increasing to £230 the following year. And now its time to rebudget again because of all the energy hikes.

When dd eventually finds her own home we will both struggle, but at least she'll know the true cost of living.

£20 is a mere 10th of your daughters income, she will waste the rest unless you are firm with her now. She has an option, live with you at a third cost of your household bills or move out.
She's a working adult now, time to grow up.

Good luck

I lived at home rent free until I was 24. I did however do jobs around the home that my ageing parents found hard- garden work, radiator valves, light fittings etc, so saving money in tradesman's fees.

Whilst I'm sure all you MSE forumites will now decide my parents have no clue what they were doing, it did enable me to save a healthy deposit for a house when the time came to buy- without assistance from my parents. How many people now have assistance with their deposit from their parents?

They didn't "give" me money or an allowance as I worked through college and uni- the money I earned went on petrol and general car costs as I went to uni some way from home. What I didn't spend, I saved.

OP, one day you will become old and frail, and will need taking to and from doctors and hospital appointments, will need jobs doing around the house for you, shopping collected for you etc. Perhaps you should agree a scale of charges with your daughter now- Dr/ Hospital visit £5 plus parking charges and waiting time, mowing lawn £5 per lawn, shopping run £7 for the first hour plus £5 for each additional hour etc.

I'm just saying that family is family, maybe you should ask your daughter to contribute what she is comfortable with- or maybe not even financially in terms of handing over money,but instead to put food in the freezer once in a while etc.

I know this is an alternative school of thought but personally I would never dream of "charging" my kids to stay in my house- as any money I took from them now would simply hold them back in terms of saving up for a rental/ purchased property of their own. Anything they wanted to do to contribute would be appreciated.

Final thought, if your daughter doesn't agree to pay £30 per week to you, what will you do- kick her out on the streets? It reads like you're running a hotel, not a family home.

Some of the posts here amaze me!

£30 a week and she is moaning, so it leaves her £170 a week to herself.

Tell her to pay up or ship out. She should be paying at least £60 a week.

Dont let her get away with it...

She's a family member, not a lodger!

Are there tax implications? What's the max that can be charged prior to it becoming an issue?

Probably, but we're not talking about a B&B here are we- we're talking about FAMILY!

At the end of the day, only the OP can judge. If the daughter is conscientious then I'd be more prepared to be lenient. HOWEVER, in THIS case, she sounds like she's more concerned with luxuries and a social life.

Where did you get that bit from? Prejudging me thinks! She could be trying to save for a deposit for a property rental or purchase!

If the daughter cannot agree to a reasonable way forward, such as this, then perhaps a month's notice to leave may be the best option all 'round.

A months notice for a family member to leave the family home. How ridiculous. :mad:

Look in local papers for the going rental rate for a home similar to your own, divide by the number of bedrooms, add a fair share of all bills.

That's the fair price.

Alternatively check local shops for "room to rent" ads looking for lodgers and that's your "fair price".
Depends if you want rid of her.

No, it's not. People looking to rent out rooms/ houses to lodgers are looking to make a profit, else why do it? Surely the OP is not looking to profit from family?

I'd also ask for £30 a week till she's repaid what you gave her when she was at uni.

Note- gave her whilst at uni- was it ever agreed as a loan to be paid back- if not (and the OP doesn't indicate it was) this is unconnected to the issue of any board payment.

Agree on a FAIR contribution and get all parties to agree to a plan (and everyone sign it if possible).

Making a family member sign what is effectively a tenancy agreement to stay in the family home. I can only assume you are joking!

If she wont pay up, then say that £20 just covers the room. So take out anything electrical, even the lightbulb, don't buy her food, don't let her use the washing machine or phone...

FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY!

I'm all for MoneySaving, but some of the suggestions and comments here show a complete lack of family love and respect- they're basically suggesting you kick a family member out over £10p/w, or you make her live in the dark ages (no lightbulb, no clothes washing facilities etc). Is she even allowed to use the bathroom without additional charge??

MDE