Sleep deprivation due to deaf neighbour

Lance_De_Boils · 15 April 2015 at 3:30AM

I live in a flat below an elderly lady whose hearing has got progressively worse.

She seems to be a rather nocturnal lady who does like a bit of night time telly. Nothing wrong with that.
However, the noise from her telly has been keeping me awake for several weeks now. She usually has the telly on loud until 3 or 4 in the morning and the lack of sleep is making me feel ill.

I tried knocking on the door to have a chat but she doesn't answer her door. Probably because she cant hear the knocking.
I never knock during the night because I wouldn't want to alarm her.

I posted a letter through her door explaining that I can hear her telly until the early hours of the morning, and asking if she could possible turn the volume down. I offered to get ear phones for her if she would like that.

She is an old, deaf lady and because of that I do not have the heart to complain about her.
Can anyone give me any suggestions as to what they would do in the same situation?

I would feel heartless and cruel reporting an elderly lady to the council. But does being deaf entitle a person to keep other people awake at night?

I would appreciate any input from yourselves.

Oops. Just realized that I have posted in the wrong board. Maybe mods can move it for me?

nursemaggie · 15 April 2015 at 6:08AM

Lance De Boils Being deaf does not allow the lady upstairs to deprive you of sleep. You are entitled to reasonable quiet during what for most people is sleeping time. No doubt the elderly lady sleeps through all the noise of others getting up and going to work.

I fully sympathise I have had this same problem and the noise was just behind my bed.

I am sure you are not alone in suffering this there may be other neighbours who are being disturbed. You do not have to "report" her to the council just ask them for help.

The council will have people able to approach it tactfully and to explain to the lady about headphones. She may not have actually understood your note.

It will help if you can call on your neighbours and ask if they are also disturbed. You could then all keep a diary of the times when the TV is disturbing you so the council will have evidence.

This may just do this lady a favour as she could get some help to cope with her deafness.

As it is just the past few weeks is it possibly the last few weeks of something like snooker which I know goes on until late at night. I eventually found my neighbour just disturbed me for a few weeks a year during the snooker season.

Good luck.

FairyPrincessk · 15 April 2015 at 7:31AM

I agree with Nursemaggie, it is time to approach the council. If you have put a note through the door, then she either isn't aware enough to respond (perhaps she doesn't realize how bad her hearing has gotten and is unaware how loud the television is, or maybe there is something else at play here) or she is choosing to ignore the letter. If you frame it as a noise complaint that also has you concerned for her welfare they won't go in waving an ASBO or be aggressive, but will go and have a chat with her. In my experience councils understand that not every complaint needs the same approach. If you explain the situation then they should be able to approach her with some tact and this may enable her to get some help or assistance that could make her life much easier (and allow you to get some sleep!). There may also be other things going on which the council can address.

If anyone visits her regularly, then an intermediate step may be to approach them and explain the situation. Her friends and relatives may be unaware that she is struggling so much, or this may be the confirmation of their suspicions they need to take action. If she doesn't have regular people visiting her then I'd definitely contact the council.

Lance_De_Boils · 15 April 2015 at 3:43PM

Thank you for your replies. I have knocked on her door twice today but have no response.

A couple of months back we saw each other while out and about.
We tried to have a conversation but it was impossible because no matter how many times I repeated myself she couldn't hear me.

Her telly was on until after 4am this morning. Nursemaggie, it would be lovely if it was snooker I could hear from her flat. That bbc commentator always lulls me off to sleep.
She watches all kinds of programmes and seems to like movies with lots of gunfire and those ear blasting soundtracks.

Although I posted the letter to her I have wondered if her eyesight is ok. Or if she has just chose to ignore it. Her and I have been neighbours for nearly twenty years with no problems. In fact we used to ask each other from time to time if we might be too noisy.

I will have to speak to the council and maybe ask for their advice. If she holds the view that I "reported" her then so be it.

Our block of flats are three high and are in a kind of H shape so I doubt that she disturbs other neighbours. I have wondered whether to approach the man in the flat below me. I imagine he can hear her telly and assumes that it is me.

I don't expect anyone to creep around their home to accommodate me. In fact I find the noise of telephones and toilets flushing and taps running kind of comforting in a way. I have got used to the man downstairs early morning prayers.

I do hope the elderly lady isn't unwell. Is there something called day/night reversal, or have I imagined that?

jackieblack · 15 April 2015 at 3:49PM

In the meantime, while you try and resolve a longer-term solution, have you tried ear plugs?

FairyPrincessk · 15 April 2015 at 3:51PM

Hi Lance,

It does sound as if there may be something else going on, particularly as you have a long history of good relations with her. It is worth mentioning this in your communication with the council as they may be able to send someone with the qualifications to make care assessments when they visit. I'm not sure how it works in your area, but there are dedicated neighbourhood liason officers in my area who can connect with different departments as they see fit. If you ask for your name to be withheld they will make every effort to ensure she doesn't know who initiated the visit--they may even couch it as a sort of welfare visit.

It sounds like you're a nice neighbour to have, and I hope you're able to resolve the problem.

FairyPrincessk · 15 April 2015 at 3:52PM

Good point, Jackie. We have a very different neighbour noise problem and we find Bioears tremendously helpful.

LameWolf · 15 April 2015 at 4:01PM

Lance I don't have any really good suggestions other than to keep trying to make contact, but, as someone with progressively deteriorating hearing and nocturnal tendencies, I would be mortified if I found out I was disturbing the neighbours, and would hope they'd let me know, politely and promptly, if that was the case.

My first thought, if she's elderly, is that she might have some other, age-related, health issues going on?

I do hope you can get something sorted; sleep deprivation is no joke.

carefullycautious · 15 April 2015 at 5:20PM

Are you sure she has not passed away in her chair :eek:

Does she have carers go in who you could talk to?

Relatives?

Lance_De_Boils · 16 April 2015 at 1:15AM

carefullycautious wrote: »

Are you sure she has not passed away in her chair :eek:

Does she have carers go in who you could talk to?

Relatives?

When the all night telly first began I did wonder if she was dead with the telly left on but then I heard the reassuring sound of the telly going off and the plug being removed.

I don't think she has any carers come in. Our flats are set out so that you cant really see who is coming and going. But I think I would hear if she had visitors because they would have to raise their voices for her to hear them.

The worse night so far has been her music night. Thin Lizzie, Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet. Coulda been worse I suppose. Coulda been jazz. Nice.
Or that Bjork song...its oh so quiet, so peaceful until....

I am old enough to remember the days when there were only three tv channels, and there was nothing to watch after midnight. I have been yearning for those days lately.

It is nearly 1am as I write. Her telly is on...still far too loud but the volume has been turned down. I will try and see if I can manage to get some sleep. I will seek out some ear plugs tomorrow. Or should I say today.

Cant help wondering if I am being a little to gracious at the expense of my own well being though. Her wakefulness is keeping me awake. Every night. There are times when I cannot sleep, but rather than put the telly on and disturb others I tend to read or watch online tv on me laptop with me headphones on.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I will give the council a ring on Monday if necessary.

missile · 16 April 2015 at 4:28AM

I find noise cancelling head phones work for me.

Sleep deprivation due to deaf neighbour

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