Money Moral Dilemma: Should my husband contribute more to our finances?

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Comments

  • hairyone
    hairyone Posts: 2 Newbie
    AS A MARRIED COUPLE HE SHOULD PAY THE BILLS NO ARGUEING ::mad:
  • mouse118
    mouse118 Posts: 5 Forumite
    We are pensioners. I get more money than my husband. I make a larger contribution towards housekeeping than he does, which we agree is "right and proper", as my granny was very fond of saying. You can't force him but I would work out the percentage difference and ask him to consider it. That way he can't make an accusation of unfairness!
  • Lifes_Grand_Plan
    Lifes_Grand_Plan Posts: 1,083 Forumite
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    Very surprised at all the "split proportionally" or "split 50/50" comments.... I guess i'm with the 'old school' everything we both earn goes into the JA and everything we spend comes out of there too camp...

    I don't get this "his/her money and my money" business. Does the higher earner have better foreign holidays and nicer meals out while the lower earner holidays in Butlins and eats out at McDonalds.... what about if one of you loses a job or is on maternity leave - do they run u a debt to the house for their share of the bills or do they get evicted.... What about when you go out for meals or buy Christmas presents, do those get split on a ratio and excel spreadsheets kept....

    Our house / family is a team and IMHO a team needs to put everything in together for everyone's benefit.

    Each to their own of course, even if I can't understand it.
    A big believer in karma, you get what you give :A

    If you find my posts useful, "pay it forward" and help someone else out, that's how places like MSE can be so successful.
  • Lifes_Grand_Plan
    Lifes_Grand_Plan Posts: 1,083 Forumite
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    dmcc0 wrote: »
    For all those saying that finances in a marriage should be combined and shared, I couldn't disagree more.

    When my wife and I first got married everything went into a joint account, but then when she stopped work to look after the children things didn't go well. Cash was really tight and she felt as if she had to ask permission to spend anything, saying that because I was the sole earner the finances were my responsibility.

    How would it have been any different if you'd had separate accounts? She still wouldn't have been earning and would have required to be supported by you... as I see it, the exact same scenario would have played out either way....
    A big believer in karma, you get what you give :A

    If you find my posts useful, "pay it forward" and help someone else out, that's how places like MSE can be so successful.
  • romeroe
    romeroe Posts: 37 Forumite
    alggomas wrote: »
    The whole idea of child benefit is for POOR people so why claim?! Especially if you have to pay it back!
    It could be the woman on high wages.
    We have a small joint account which we rarely use.
    My wife pays all the major bills as she earns more than me. We are in love so we share. Sharing does not mean 50/50. It means getting along and being happy. I pay small bills and we have done this for over 30 years!

    It used to be called Child Allowance, until it was renamed "benefit" and stigmatized as such. There is still an inequity whereby if a single earner family earns 60k they lose the CB whereas a double earning family earning 100k can keep it...but that is another matter.

    Anyway the main reason why you should claim is to get national insurance credits towards pension. You can even claim it at zero rate but keeping the NI credit.
  • ViolaLass
    ViolaLass Posts: 5,764 Forumite
    hairyone wrote: »
    AS A MARRIED COUPLE HE SHOULD PAY THE BILLS NO ARGUEING ::mad:

    The door for previous centuries is over there.
  • Philjak13
    Philjak13 Posts: 3 Newbie
    In my view what is his is yours and vice verse.
    If he insists on itemising things and seeing you and his family as an invoice, you may as well charge him for 50% of the childcare costs.
    Philjak
  • Tanllan
    Tanllan Posts: 5 Forumite
    My wife advised me when we married that what was mine was hers. That seems to work pretty well - I want to stay married.
  • XRAT
    XRAT Posts: 239 Forumite
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    If you have to have personal finances rather than "family finances".., you are a family, right?
    Perhaps you should now view spending as a three way split, and since you are doing the minding enabling him to do the earning, he should cover the no income unit.
  • crmism
    crmism Posts: 300 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Just how tight-fisted and mercenary is your husband?

    There is no way you should contribute 50% of household expenses. My wife and I were in similar circumstances when our children were born, but at no time did I expect her to pay for anything out of her much smaller salary, which was paid into a different account. My salary went into a joint account, which serviced 100% of household costs. That's what a proper marriage is all about.

    Your husband should think himself lucky that the welfare state today is much more generous to young families than it ever was.:mad:
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