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  • FIRST POST
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 1st Jan 18, 11:51 AM
    • 10,334Posts
    • 59,002Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 18, 11:51 AM
    Frump to Fab 2018 - Fabulous Dahhhhlings 1st Jan 18 at 11:51 AM
    Good Morning my Lovelies.

    And welcome to the new bright and shiny Frump to Fab Thread.

    First of all a very big hello and welcome to everyone, newbies, lurkers and returners....and those undecided.

    Second let me wish you all “Happy New Year”.

    Let’s rock this one!!!!

    Well now where do we start this year. We have quite a history here now don’t we. I was thinking this morning about how the thread has developed so for the newbies......a brief potted history.

    A few years ago my son took a photo of me. I was horrified. I burst into tears. I could hardly believe my eyes at the image before me. But.......as we know the camera doesn’t lie and I couldn’t argue with what That image revealed.

    I went upstairs and stood in front of a full mirror and allowed the awful truth to sink in........never mind frump, I looked like a bag lady.

    In my defence.......it was not down to laziness, far from it. I was caring for my semi Paralysed terminally ill husband. My days were full on with caring duties. I scarcely had a spare minute, it was all I could do to shower and brush my teeth sometimes.

    All very noble of course but I had completely neglected myself in the process. I had forgotten the simple golden rule........we cannot care for others if we don’t care for ourselves. We cannot give love, if we don’t treat ourselves with love.

    How many women forget this simple fact. In our busy lives as mothers, daughters, sisters how often to we put ourselves last on that never ending “to do list”.

    As I stood and looked in that mirror I realised the folly of my ways and I resolved to “do something”. I wasn’t sure what exactly but I knew I had to make a start somewhere.

    So I started the first Frump to Fab Thread and, as they say, the rest is history. What started as a simple diary to help me make the necessary changes to get me out of “Frumpdom” has become a wonderful friendship group of likeminded women.

    Yes some of us are of a certain age but not all. Frumpdom is not the preserve of the middle aged woman who has “let herself go”. Becoming a frump can happen to anyone, young women, even teenagers.

    But here’s the good news .......it’s never too late to reverse the process, never too late to ditch the frump, never too late for the caterpillar to turn into a beautiful butterfly or for the ugly duckling to turn into a graceful and elegant swan.

    There are no rules to this thread except one.

    Kindness please........we don’t judge anyone here, we don’t get into futile pointless arguments, we don’t make nasty comments, we don’t indulge in sarcasm, we don’t bully others, we don’t play mind games and we don’t try to score points by making others feel small.

    So all that being said .....if you are ready to change your stars and become that alluring goddess you always longed to be, if you want to reclaim the energy and vitality that was once yours but has somehow disappeared then this is place for you.

    Let’s all get fabulous.

    Lesson no 1.

    Wear perfume, every day. Don’t save it for best. Get out all those unused smellies lurking in the back of the bathroom cabinet or bedside drawer and start using them.

    Smell divine......and fabulousity will follow. That’s a promise.

    A women who smells gorgeous is gorgeous. It’s the first step on your journey.

    Right I’m off to bathe in a sea of perfumed bubbles but first ..........
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 01-01-2018 at 12:06 PM.
Page 2
    • LaineyT
    • By LaineyT 2nd Jan 18, 7:55 PM
    • 1,820 Posts
    • 21,788 Thanks
    LaineyT
    Oooh, do like that bag Chanie especially as you can wear it cross body.
    Indie that article from Dr Chatterjee was very interesting thank you, am also toying with the idea of sending for the book, my sleep can be very erratic at times and I know it impacts on my health at times.

    Welcome to all new fabbers, this thread is a lovely and supportive place to be

    It's been a very wet and cold day here, after spending the morning at the stables I must admit that haven't gone too far this afternoon but did take the opportunity to update my CV in preparation for applying for any suitable part-time jobs. I am in no hurry and will only go for something if it fits my criteria of hours and location.

    Right, I have self imposed a ban on all devices after 8pm so best be off
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 18, 9:06 PM
    • 2,525 Posts
    • 19,246 Thanks
    sashybo
    Hi all, just reporting in to say that I managed 25 mins of yoga tonight after putting my wee boy to bed. I feel so much better for doing it already.

    My DS then decided to wake up & have had to leave him crying as he just wants me to hold him all the time. He is 7 months old and very stubborn, have been sitting listening to him cry for 20 minutes so far & feeling terrible. Last time he cried for over an hour before I gave in. Some nights he just doesn't want to be on his own in his cot.

    We've had a good day up to this point as managed to get his room tidied & sort through all his clothes, packing away the things that are too small (WHY do babies have so much stuff?) in between feeds/weaning & nap times etc. Now just feeling fed-up.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • BrassicWoman
    • By BrassicWoman 2nd Jan 18, 9:11 PM
    • 1,417 Posts
    • 6,090 Thanks
    BrassicWoman
    I was kindly gifted a gel nail set over the holidays so have just put on a lovely taupe ready for work. Hopefully it will last over a week as promised! I love how evenly it sets, not a ridge to be seen, and how fast it dries with the LED compared to traditional varnish. Might be onto a winner....

    Dress picked out for work tomorrow as opposed to usual black trousers and jersey top.

    Next up in glam; early night, worth a million pounds of serum.
    Jan 18 grocery challenge £105.13/ £150
    • Floss
    • By Floss 2nd Jan 18, 9:52 PM
    • 4,182 Posts
    • 35,674 Thanks
    Floss
    ...My DS then decided to wake up & have had to leave him crying as he just wants me to hold him all the time. He is 7 months old and very stubborn, have been sitting listening to him cry for 20 minutes so far & feeling terrible. Last time he cried for over an hour before I gave in. Some nights he just doesn't want to be on his own in his cot.
    Originally posted by sashybo
    Would he settle if you were in his room, maybe do some yoga & relaxation with him?
    • chanie
    • By chanie 2nd Jan 18, 10:10 PM
    • 1,819 Posts
    • 9,225 Thanks
    chanie
    sashybo I remember those early years, they are tough. I’m not criticising your choices as a parent, but if you feel terrible leaving him to cry, maybe you shouldn’t. There will be lots of well meaning people tellin you to let him cry it out and that you’ll be spoiling him if you give in, but if it doesn’t feel right, go to him.

    Bras sic women well done on your gel nails.

    Lainey good luck on the job front
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £137.66
    Live more - £70.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 18, 10:15 PM
    • 2,525 Posts
    • 19,246 Thanks
    sashybo
    Floss, he tends to quieten down as soon as I go into see him so that might work, thanks. I caved in about 5 mins after posting & went into see him. Just helped him get into a comfy position & gave him his zebra back that he likes to cuddle and rubbed his back a bit and he settled down. Still took him a while to drift off but at least he had calmed down. Hate leaving him to cry & it doesnít seem to work for either of us!

    Chanie, thatís why I tried leaving him to cry - my mum, my sister & my brother all told me to do it (3,4 & 2 kids respectively) and that he would learn to settle down but heís very stubborn and just keeps crying! My DH then thinks Iím being too soft if I go in. Iíve tried it a couple of times & it just doesnít work for us, heís always loved being held or having someone nearby, sometimes I think he just needs that reassurance that Iím still there.
    Last edited by sashybo; 02-01-2018 at 10:22 PM.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 2nd Jan 18, 10:42 PM
    • 1,819 Posts
    • 9,225 Thanks
    chanie
    sasheybo I remember feeling overwhelmed with all of the different advice I was getting from people. I bet the majority of people give advice that they themselves didn’t follow. My children loved being held and it did become annoying when I could get stuff done or wanted 5 minutes to myself, but they’ll grow out of it. I assume your DS must be either crawling or on the verge of becoming mobile, so it won’t be long before he’ll be off the exploring.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £137.66
    Live more - £70.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 2nd Jan 18, 11:57 PM
    • 2,525 Posts
    • 19,246 Thanks
    sashybo
    Thanks Chanie, yes my DS has always loved being held, I literally couldnít put him down for the first 6 weeks or he would just scream!

    Heís a lot better now so hopefully heíll get over the cot thing soon. Heís not been well recently & just seems to be catching one thing after another so has been more clingy as well.

    I know people just want to help as Iím a new mum but as you say it can be overwhelming & I think a lot of it really depends on the baby themselves - some are just more needy than others.

    Yes heís rolling about the floor but not really bothered about trying to crawl yet. He can sit up by himself but canít be bothered for more than a minute and just throws himself backwards.

    Worrying about the baby takes up so much energy! No wonder Iím feeling more frump than fab! At least Iíve not let my skincare slide, always feel rubbish if my skin isnít cleansed & moisturised.

    Forgive me for taking over the thread with baby talk fabbers, I know it can get dull.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 3rd Jan 18, 2:30 AM
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    lessonlearned
    I deliberately didn’t offer any baby advice because I know from my own experience that everyone wants to chip in with their tuppence worth. It can be very irritating and upsetting when well meaning relatives try and tell you how “things should be done” . Rubbish.

    I will say just a few things.....

    1. you are the mother, not them. They have had their own babies and did it their way. Now it’s your turn, your baby so do it your way. Do what feels right, trust your instincts and you won’t go far wrong.

    2. Babies were invented before books.

    3. Babies are not an amorphous blob. Every one of them is unique. Some sleep easily, some don’t. Some are faddy eaters, some are clingy, some are placid and easygoing, some are anxious. Some need more security and cuddles than others.

    And if your little one has been a bit off it then he’s bound to want cuddles.

    Have you ever noticed in more “primitive” societies.....hate that expression because I don’t see the people as being inferior to us in the West. But have you noticed how they carry the baby around with them all the time, strapped to their backs. They don’t have prams, pushchairs or cots. And the baby just sleeps with it’s parents.

    I had a baby sling and just carried my babies around with me if they were fractious. They loved it. And yes they often slept in our bed if they were a bit off it or wanted cuddles, especially the older one who had asthma. He often had breathing difficulties at night, sleeping with us helped him relax and breath more easily, plus of course my husband and I could monitor him and make sure he was ok.

    And no, you haven’t bored us with baby talk, or at least you haven’t bored me. Those of us who have had children can remember how difficult it can be. Anyway I adore children. I am going to be a first time grandmother this year (at last). It’s been a long wait.......

    Well done on keeping up the skin care routines. When my eldest was a baby there were days I barely had time to brush my teeth......

    I must have looked (and smelt) dreadful.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 03-01-2018 at 2:45 AM.
    • maman
    • By maman 3rd Jan 18, 11:59 AM
    • 17,354 Posts
    • 103,931 Thanks
    maman
    Just to chip in and say I'm not bored with the baby talk either. All I would say is that I don't think you should feel it's wrong not to let a child take over your life. It's not just babies that are individuals with needs and wants but so are older children and adults. I think you should try to find a way of life that suits the baby and the rest of the family. Obviously it will change over time with changing needs.

    That's just a general comment sashy as it seems that you are making an effort to keep up with your skincare and exercise etc. Otherwise you wouldn't have joined the thread.


    I, too, love that handbag chanie. They may sell out soon if Lainey and I get there first!


    I'm pondering hard on a specific word for 2018. I have negative words that describe how I don't want to be like procrastinate and drift.


    My problem is that I gave up full time work some years ago, have done part time for about 10 years and since Easter other than the odd day I've been weaning off all but a bit of occasional voluntary stuff. I know, for many, that wouldn't be a problem at all. It's quite an envious position. The trouble is that I can't rid myself of the work ethic and I get dissatisfied with myself if I don't do anything (that I consider) constructive with my time. I could volunteer but I've avoided replacing one job with another IYSWIM. Forgive me thinking aloud but I wanted to share the way my thoughts are going.


    Meanwhile I'm keeping up with all the fabbing routines I've introduced over time thanks to this thread. Today I plan to get a notebook to record my meal plans. I always write one (on a scrap of paper and throw it away each week) but I think it'll be useful to keep a record. I've kept to my ideal weight for 6+ years and it's good to know which menus suit me best.


    Have a good day all.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 3rd Jan 18, 12:13 PM
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    • 59,002 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    About half way through the packing. Kitchen drying out nicely,doesnít appear to be any long term damage,

    Iím off out to meet a friend for lunch today. Dressed for warmth. Jeans, boots and one of my nice new pure wool cowl neck sweaters. A lovely dark olive green. I really like the colour. Got my hair booked. For tomorrow morning and steroid injection tomorrow night.

    4 more sleeps....
    • sashybo
    • By sashybo 3rd Jan 18, 12:58 PM
    • 2,525 Posts
    • 19,246 Thanks
    sashybo
    LL thanks for your thoughts, I think Iíve mostly managed to do the things that felt right with DS (so far) but sometimes feel the pressure of the things you ďshouldĒ be doing - who decides these things anyway? Thatís not even getting started on the things the baby ďshouldĒ be doing according to some people/books etc.

    Iíve already been told I was spoiling the baby by holding him too much! Luckily I knew that wasnít possible - he was a tiny baby at that point! The midwives & health visitors also told me to ignore this as they said you canít spoil a baby with too much love. I already thought this but was glad of the reassurance. When you think of the things the midwives & health visitors must see with people who canít/donít care for their babies as they should you can understand why they say that.

    Maman yes I donít want to get to the stage where Iím neglecting myself for the sake of DS & DH. I can already see how easy it would be to put myself last and I donít want that as donít think itís healthy for any of us.

    I already feel that itís easier for DH as he mostly just seems to do what he wants/did before DS was born whereas I always have to think about who will watch the baby etc. Not that my DH doesnít help, he is very hands on and does encourage me to go out with my friends whilst he has DS but having a baby seems to have had less impact on him overall if that makes sense.

    LL you must be getting excited about your holiday now. Your new jumper sounds a lovely colour, I like greens - my favourite is dark forest green but it seems a difficult colour to find.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

    PAD started 27/01/09 - £9575 extra paid off debt. Total Debt paid off £48,575.28
    Loan £3334.75, CC 0% BT £892, Car loans £22,879.88

    Have a Debt Free Diary to try & keep spending in check.
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 3rd Jan 18, 5:34 PM
    • 1,042 Posts
    • 6,661 Thanks
    sugarbaby125
    Hello Ladies,

    My watchword for 2018 is going to be Serenity

    I am going to have a lot of patience with all of the paperwork that I have to complete for my ESA claim and with the Doctors in my Surgery. Once my medical certificate and my Health Assessment form have been processed, I am expecting to be told that I have not scored enough points to continue my ESA claim.

    I am annoyed that the lead Doctor in my surgery was supposed to give me a call today to give me the results of my blood tests I had done in early December. He assumed that the other Doctor from the surgery who had called me yesterday had also discussed the blood test results with me, so he removed me from his call back list. The other Doctor had called me about a referral she had made for me to complete a 12 week medically supervised exercise and nutrition course in 2018. I had to hold onto my temper when the receptionist told me that I would now have to wait until Monday 8th January to find out my results and to get an appointment with the Doctor. I need to know if I have arthritis and if I do, what type of arthritis I have. I had the blood tests in early December, but when the results came back to my surgery, no one thought to let me know the results.

    As a result of the Doctor's error, I had to phone ESA to explain the situation. I sat in the phone queue for 40 minutes, before I got to speak to a young man who was very helpful.

    2018 has started off quite well for me despite these irritations and my continuing health issues. I bought my 1st purchases of 2018 in Superdrug, Poundland, Tesco Direct and eBay. I got myself 2 new Very Jumpers from Littlewoods Clearance via eBay for vastly reduced prices. They look very good on me, even better than I anticipated and are very well made of good quality materials. I also bought myself a half price 4 wheel super light suitcase from Tesco Direct, as I needed one now I am having mobility problems when pulling my 2 wheeled lightweight suitcase. I am having a girly weekend with my sisters in Birmingham in February which I am really looking forward to.

    I have so many gifts in my storage boxes to give to family and friends in 2018 for birthdays that I have very little storage space left. I have also bought presents for my son's 18th birthday and started wrapping them, so that I can spread the cost of the 18 birthday presents I intend to buy him. The birthday presents are being stored in an empty suitcase until June. I am wrapping them to avoid my son accidentally coming across them.

    I have theatre tckets for 2 productions in February and 3 Groupon restaurant vouchers to use with my daughter in early 2018.

    I intend to remind myself to fab myself up, every time I am leaving my home regardless of whether I am just going to my local shops or going to a restaurant or other event.

    My main goal in 2018 is to lose weight for health reasons primarily, but secondly because I want to look and feel better. I want to remain debt free and I also want to try to ensure that when I am spending money that I do my best to ensure that I am doing so as wisely as possible. I was part of the Wombling Thread last year and so I know I made total savings of £14,563. Only shame is that I do not have that money in a savings account
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 3rd Jan 18, 7:00 PM
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    lessonlearned
    Great watchword SUgarbaby. Hope you get those health issues sorted soon. I know you will do everything in your power to get strong and healthy again. I just hope the DWP and NHS don’t mess you about.

    Shortly after my husband died I decided that I would make “serenity” my mantra. I knew that chasing happiness would be an impossible task but I could aim for contentment and serenity. It served me well. I learned to look for small pleasures, my garden, a sunset, a walk in the park stopping to sit on a bench and watch the world go by, a cup of coffee in a favourite cafe, curling up with a book or a dvd. Small things, but they helped heal my broken heart.

    Just finished my ironing, sorted out my jewellery and the rest my toiletries and clothes. Going to have some supper, watch a bit of tv and have an earlyish night.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 03-01-2018 at 7:03 PM.
    • chanie
    • By chanie 3rd Jan 18, 7:08 PM
    • 1,819 Posts
    • 9,225 Thanks
    chanie
    sugar that’s amazing savings. It just goes to show that there are bargains out there.
    2018 challenge to save £1000
    Spend less - £137.66
    Live more - £70.05
    My spending diary - Spend Less, Live More
    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5576179
    • sugarbaby125
    • By sugarbaby125 3rd Jan 18, 11:30 PM
    • 1,042 Posts
    • 6,661 Thanks
    sugarbaby125
    Hello LL and Chanie,

    LL Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe is one of my all time favourite films. I have watched it every time it has been televised. I have also seen both versions of the film Sabrina and enjoyed both of them. I love female centric films, especially if they have strong, multi layered female characters in the film that the viewer can easily identify with.

    I want to start my 1st thread to keep track of my spending habits, but am not sure how to start it. Could you explain what I need to do please?

    There is no Wombling Thread for 2018, so I will just have to start my own thread. I make wiser spending decisions when I am recording them and I am also able to track how much I am saving with my personal choices.

    Chanie, most of my really huge savings on purchases were when I was shopping on eBay, but everything adds to the final total, roadkill, free tickets to films and other events and being 'treated' to restaurant meals. My son is in a local sixth form and he is now entitled to and receiving free school meals. MSE Threads and the weekly newsletter is always giving me ideas on how to spend my available money wisely.
    • maman
    • By maman 4th Jan 18, 12:06 AM
    • 17,354 Posts
    • 103,931 Thanks
    maman
    What you need to do Sugarbaby is this. Go to the Forum Jump on the right and choose the board you want your thread to appear on. When you've got to that board and all the existing threads are listed you'll see a New Thread tab at the top left of the thread list. Click on that and from there it's quite self explanatory. You give it a title and do your first post and you're off! Hope that helps.
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 4th Jan 18, 7:16 AM
    • 10,334 Posts
    • 59,002 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    SUgarbaby.....look forward to reading your new thread.......you are one serious money saver.

    I shall be picking your brains.......

    I think I must be too excited to sleep. Have been awake since just gone 6. Going to finish packing because I will probably need a sofa day tomorrow to keep my leg elevated after my steroid injection

    I shall use the enforced rest time wisely, giving myself a manicure and pedicure. I also have a bit of handsewing to keep me occupied.

    I have a couple of visitors coming too. A friend for coffee in the morning and then DS1and DIL early evening.

    DIL has been having a rotten pregnancy so far as you know, with a lot of sickness. Apparently she has had a couple of better days this week so hopefully the worst is over now.
    Last edited by lessonlearned; 04-01-2018 at 7:18 AM.
    • maddiemay
    • By maddiemay 4th Jan 18, 8:28 AM
    • 3,217 Posts
    • 29,422 Thanks
    maddiemay
    Sugarbaby, I too look forward to reading your new thread, I have been meaning to thank you for your tip-off about the M&S thermal tops on "the bay", I bought one of the ones with a lace type panel and sleeves to wear under more fitted tunics and dresses, liked it so much managed to get another one.

    LL- I don't think that I would be sleeping either I do hope that your dear DIL is coming to the end of the extreme sickness.

    I cannot get a word to fit my aims for 2018, so I think I will have to settle for a shortish phrase, will continue to think on it, I really want to work at being the best I can be with my health issues using diet, excercise, relaxation and doing things that bring me joy
    • lessonlearned
    • By lessonlearned 4th Jan 18, 9:07 AM
    • 10,334 Posts
    • 59,002 Thanks
    lessonlearned
    Sugarbaby, I too look forward to reading your new thread, I have been meaning to thank you for your tip-off about the M&S thermal tops on "the bay", I bought one of the ones with a lace type panel and sleeves to wear under more fitted tunics and dresses, liked it so much managed to get another one.

    LL- I don't think that I would be sleeping either I do hope that your dear DIL is coming to the end of the extreme sickness.

    I cannot get a word to fit my aims for 2018, so I think I will have to settle for a shortish phrase, will continue to think on it, I really want to work at being the best I can be with my health issues using diet, excercise, relaxation and doing things that bring me joy
    Originally posted by maddiemay

    ????


    Yes I can.

    Or

    Simply the best.

    Or

    Replenish


    Or


    Rejuvenate


    Or


    Revive


    Iíll get me coat........
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