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  • FIRST POST
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 6th Feb 13, 11:42 AM
    • 167Posts
    • 485Thanks
    MiMi66
    oh my life...... Light Bulb moment.
    • #1
    • 6th Feb 13, 11:42 AM
    oh my life...... Light Bulb moment. 6th Feb 13 at 11:42 AM
    Well, I am posting for the first time and starting a new thread all in one - I joined yesterday and am I so hoping that doing this will help to keep me on track with facing and resolving my debt.

    I am ashamed and embarrassed - both at the debt and at how long it has taken me to face up to being in debt and deciding to address it - I'll have to say it quickly though £21620 - to credit cards.
    God, if I can press the post this button after typing that I shall be going some.

    I oculd come up with loads of reasons about why I am in debt - all valid and real - but it doesn't take away from the reality of having to pay it back. I am a single mother with two children, I work full time in a good job, and I have spent too much, way too much.

    Oddly the children and I don't live some high flying life, no racks of clothes and shoes from designer shops or anything like that - just years of spending over my budget on food, petrol and the big one, trips away. One of these trips was due to my father dying and I needed to go overseas to deal with arrangements suddenly, and took the children - all went on the cards.

    I have tumbled recently - poor health, which gave me time to reflect (or wake up you might think), panic (still), contemplate dark things and get very depressed - and now started antidepressants. They are just starting to work and lift my mood, and I want to try and get a plan into place to deal with my awful debt and take a new attitude to it.

    I have a mortgage, and good equity (though the bank said no to me borrowing against the house last week - that added to my spiral of mood) - House is worth about £200K and my mortgage is £114K. Also turned down for a loan from Sainsburys bank, which I wanted to consolidate my debts with. Instead I am left with credit cards totalling £21600 (I owed approx £22500 in December, but managed to pay off the Christmas mad spend, but living on thin air this month.)

    So - shall I write out my debt?

    Halifax - 6830 0% til Dec
    Natwest - 2419 0% til Sept
    M&S - 5730 0% til June and another at Nov
    MBNA - 6632 5.9% for life of balance
    Nationwide - 9 (yes only 9!)

    = 21620

    Tesco - approx 423 which will be paid off on my pay day - 27/02/13

    I've rung a financial adviser who was kind but had not ideas for me as my mortgage provider and Sainsburys turned me down flat. I also spoke with National Debt Line - who were very kind and also reassured me that as I have no 'prioirty debts' my house is safe.

    I have always paid everything on time - always met minimums plus a bit more, and have never had a DMP, CCJ or any formal action against me. Mortgage is paid and essential bills all on DD's.

    My Credit rating on Experien is all Green - just lots of it. I don't really understand why I haven't been ok'd for a loan to consolidate it all - but it leaves me with having to do that credit card shuffle thing (which I have been doing for years and screwed up completely by always adding more debt to it.)

    SO my resolution is to live to a budget.
    Pay off the debt - I think it is going to take me 7 years () - I aim to pay approx £350 a month (plus that Tesco bill next month - will be another very tight one, but I can't bear the idea of not doing it).
    Keep my job and sanity and work on my mood.
    Hug my kids and get them involved in saving money.
    Find ways to live and have fun that do not cost money.

    My ex husband may be about to reduce child maintainence and also my eldest will stop getting Child Benefit soon - that plus losing the Council Tax single person rebate as my daughter hits 18 - will add up to losing about 300 per month I think. I have to somehow adjust to that change as well as keep paying off the debt.

    Does anybody know what happens with Child Benefit with two children once one leaves full time education - How much does it reduce to?

    Gosh, I fel like I have been really self indulgent writing this all out, and I guess it doesn't make for very original reading, but I am so hoping that keeping this forum diary will help me stay on track, and I would welcome any ideas from anyone.

    Wish me luck!
Page 17
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 26th Sep 17, 9:04 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    Hello again, MiMi,

    You really are making good progress! I think it is very interesting that although you are facing the short sharp shock of the reality of your situation you are using that to motivate yourself in to a plan. Antidepressants do of course have their place, but as you say, you need to be alert to your situation before you can deal with it.

    It is fantastic to have raised the ££ you have in selling things – you need to keep going to get you through October which as you have noted will be very tight for you. But you can do it. I also like your budgeting app strategy – I use my Mondo account on my phone in a similar way – it stops me deluding myself in to thinking I have loads of money for my discretionary spends – I don’t. I am a nightmare for ‘forgetting’ about direct debits that in the back of my mind I KNOW still have to come out of my account. So for me moving my spending money over to an app and card which updates the second I spend anything really helps me.

    So this week is payday for you which I hope will give you a psychological lift after the slog of the last few weeks.

    I was going to say I was sorry to hear about your tears re your daughter and Occ. Health. I am sorry, of course, but also I think sometimes tears are therapeutic and sometimes you just have to embrace them. Being sad at your daughter going or feeling a bit emotional when you are discussing your health is NORMAL. Not if it goes on for weeks and months, of course, but just for now, it is.

    As Foxgloves said it is great that you put the things back in the shop! A real sign of progress and I hope you can continue to keep an eye out for easy wins. Some days will really test you in that regard, but others will provide plenty of rich pickings.

    I am DELIGHTED that you already consider yourself to be on a DMP. I think that is exactly the right mindset. This way you can take a few months to learn what does and doesn’t work in your budget – areas where you are always over or under spending. You are already working to improve your situation and to give yourself some more knowledge about what does and doesn’t work for you. After all, this is a Debt Management Plan, and who better to manage you than yourself?

    I hope the return to work is ok and perhaps allows you to start thinking about things outside of money. You have had some excellent advice on make-up, cat food and household budgeting, I can see!

    And yes, get on top of the HIVE situation as soon as you can. Think of the app as a money-saving device rather than a thermostat. That’s what I do.

    Let us know what challenges await this week when you can.

    M100
    Originally posted by Magpie100
    Hi Magpie! Is the app called Mondo or Monzo? I just found Monzo only when I looked and gave now downloaded the app and ordered the prepaid card. However they say the is 48000 people in front of me waiting for a card so not sure how long that will take?

    And Everyone else too. Sitting in my couch contemplating my debt and return to work this evening. I'm getting a real sense that the lovely group of people who are commenting regularly back to me and giving advice are people who have all had significantly heavy debt issues too. I find that really inspiring and reassuring that people get through this and have self respect and head held high. That's the impression I am getting. Hopefully this will be 'character building' for me.

    Health wise I am still in post operative pain but it's nerve damage I think. Won't be helped being off work longer. So hope it settles.

    Pay day tomorrow. 55 will turn into 54 repayment months - the various DDs go out over the first week of the month but mentally it feels like pay day it the point of achievement. It is probably a slight cheat but as I never miss my payments due to being set up with standing orders and DDs it feels safe to count the repayments from payday.

    No news on a lodger as yet. I contact another health trust today so hopefully I might get someone through that avenue. I haven't quite finished my daughter's pack up - small chunks as I found it too sad. But if I can get the right sort of lodger it will be ok. Short term and someone who might go home on their days off. I'll give it a few weeks but if no luck shall look at other avenues.

    Yes - self imposed DMP seems to be working. I feel that I would disappoint myself, my children and jeopardise too too much if I fail. And if I get off track I shall do a formal DMP and have to take it on the chin or sell up and rent next summer. Those are the two worse case scenarios and I can live with them, will be ashamed of myself but I will do it if need be. It would be nice to do that from a position of £30000 debt rather than £38000. That's my first goal.

    I posted my niece's gift and the Amazon sale parcel. Phone has gone to Music Magpie so just wait for cash to come in now. Debt repayment seems to involve a lot of waiting.

    Oh and those who are curious about my dating experience - I decided against seeing X again as he is just too far away. Hardly romantic but I can't afford a long distance dating get togethers or romance. So while not the right situation for me it was a good experience and reminded me how nice it is to be valued as a woman even if only for a meal out. I will make sure he knows he did me the world of good.

    So open for dating but locally and very very cheaply. I remember in the past when I previously tried internet dating I would spend money I didn't have to get new clothes and a bit of glam makeup to make myself feel attractive. Needless to say I will not be doing that. Make do until I have no option but to replace clothes. And when I did spend money in titivating (!) myself up it never came to any good - pointless. It just has to be how I am now, a bit polished up but just me - 'I am not a gargoyle!'

    I had a profile on a dating site recently - membership expired and can't afford to do that at this point, but I have had an email from someone I was in conversation with a while ago. We never met but he's suggested a walk and coffee and he knows I am a PCM (Poor Church Mouse). He looks lives locally. Hmmmmm - thinking about it. He seems to be a bit down on his luck as well, but maybe that is something in common for most 50 something single people. Divorce, job losses and debt. The great challenges of midlife.

    I hope other people are finding some lessons it good ideas in my experiences - makes me feel less alone believing that - debt is isolating if you let it take over. And I don't want that for me or anyone really. We are all so much more that bad debtors.
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 27th Sep 17, 9:21 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,663 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Debt can be very isolating which is why this forum is so helpful.

    You do have a long journey ahead of you but you can do it and without selling your home i'm sure.

    Seeing the debts go down steadily will be very good for your self respect, so stay strong .
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Magpie100
    • By Magpie100 27th Sep 17, 9:58 PM
    • 65 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    Magpie100
    Hello MiMi,

    Apologies for the Mondo/Monzo confusion. It launched originally as Mondo and then they immediately rebranded as Monzo (copyright or brand issues, I think). ANYWAY. My card cays Mondo as it was one of the first batch, but they are now Monzo. Naturally I Assume that my card will be worth a fortune, due to its rarity. There may be other bank cards that do a similar thing if you don't want to wait, but worth waiting a bit to see if you can get one. Just be warned they occasionally get refused - oddly, always for me in petrol stations.

    I know you are wanting some input on your balance transfers - I will confess I am drinking red wine and need to have a clear head before I look at it for you. Perhaps someone else will have some advice but I will try and get my head round it in the next week.

    How did the return to work go, and how are you feeling? I hope you are ok. Good to see you were doing an action a day still and your niece's birthday gift sounded thoughtful and not too expensive. Well done.

    I'm afraid debt repayment does involve much waiting, but you are right to think of the number of months going down.

    How are you feeling about October? Once all your DDs have gone do you want to let us know what is left in the pot, and what upcoming events you have this month or potential areas of overspend?

    VEry pleased to hear you are STILL not a gargoyle. and you are very much more than a debtor. Debt is isolating - but the second you confront it and talk about it a lot of its power goes away.

    Update us when you can, espeically on the return to work. M100
    Last edited by Magpie100; 27-09-2017 at 9:58 PM. Reason: typos
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 28th Sep 17, 11:24 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    Thanks Magpie and Hairy Hands - es the shared journey is a great help.

    Pay day yesterday and today I have paid off an outstanding amount on my Nationwide Credit card that I had the cash aside for - £560, this sum wasn't on my signature, as it was cash I had there for a expense that was build up in August / Sept and similarly in a few days time once child maintenance and child benefit is in I will do the payment for my using Natwest CC and pay it off in full £699 - I have not used it all since this huge financial fright - pleased with myself - so with my usual payments for cc debts - that comes to about £1904 of repayments before mortgage and usual DD's and a bit left to live on - only savings left is what I am accruing through selling bits. It is OK though - I feel good to have cleared though balances rather than add to the longer term CC debt.

    I started back at work yesterday - OK, a bit of a shock with the volume of it - I am starting back on reduced hours though so I should be able to build up my energy and brain functioning over a few weeks.

    I have allocated £400 for the month for food, fuel and living - it is my son's birthday this month and we are going to London for a uni open day as well - these are the challenges to the money pot. I have £95 in sales money in so far - waiting on Music Magpie (who say one parcel has gone missing!!!!!!) to pay for the items I have sent them. I am hoping this money will cover a cheap few days in London - parks and museums and noodle bars! I've already paid for the travel up there by train.

    I'm going to break my budget into weekly amounts and try to put aside a bit a week to cover my DS's gift and London - tight tight tight month.....

    If I can do this November onwards will be easier - saving a bit then and enough to cover a modest Christmas.

    Thanks for any ideas on the BT's when anyone has a thought about them - I guess there is no wrong way but I don't want to be more of a financial idiot than I have been!
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 28th Sep 17, 11:29 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    Ohhhh I forgot to say 55 is now 54 months to go to DEBT Free Day!
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 28th Sep 17, 8:52 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,663 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Birthdays are expensive but it's great that you're not chucking it on a card .

    I don't think I'd be able to give you very good advice on balance transfers. Why don't you ask about that specifically on the main DFW forum?

    54 months sounds better than 55
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 29th Sep 17, 12:31 PM
    • 327 Posts
    • 4,598 Thanks
    117pauline
    Hi Mimi

    I have just read through your diary and my word, you have had some ups and downs.

    Just a couple of suggestions:

    I get the impression you have very high expectations of yourself and that might well be your undoing.

    You have just gone back to work after major surgery, a phased return and yet you are talking about overtime. I understand you feel work is where you can achieve there but please, your long term health is going to be vital for the whole debt free journey.

    I suggest you focus on one area and really nail it. It might be food, one off treat purchases, where ever you feel you can make some noticeable changes.

    Cash is the way to go for me as I notice it more. A spending diary records purchases as well as how I'm feeling.

    Finally, please build in a little treat fund. Not many can go without all the time without having a s*d it breakdown.

    Good luck and take care. Have a great weekend
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • mrsonions
    • By mrsonions 30th Sep 17, 10:55 PM
    • 27 Posts
    • 67 Thanks
    mrsonions
    I've read your diary from start to finish and I agree with Pauline - don't be so hard on yourself! Are you paying off too much each month then leaving yourself short? My advice is to pay off the minimum then see how much you have spare then take it from there? Be kind to yourself
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 3rd Oct 17, 6:36 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    Hi 117pauline and mrsonions - very kind of you both to read and comment - I've been off line a few days with getting back to work and still decluttering!! And you know I still don't have space much - very peculiar - space and objects continuum is not yet working out. So - I've thought on your comments about my being too tough on myself - I think the hard thing is for me is that I have been spectacularly bad at striking a balance in the past - I think I do need to be tough on myself for a good while to kick an old really ingrained habit of spending without thinking. I can't really cut the repayments by too much anyway to maybe £95 over three cards is in excess of the minimum payment - and I really do not want to drag out the repayments any longer than the next 4 and a half years. But, your kindness is really valued - and I do intend to get a emergency pot and a slush fund behind me. This month is a tough one, and I am budgeting so far very well - the tricky thing for this month is my son's birthday and the uni visit trip to London. However - I have worked out that with the overtime I have booked and I can cover these things - my decision will be whether to raid my tiny slush fund to do it or whether to use the CC and pay it when the overtime gets paid....

    So far so good on the budgeting front though - I am doing a sterling job, but even I can see I could cut more - but one thing at a time. It is tough and quite frustrating to penny pinch and count every outgoing - but it is making me rethink my relationship with money.

    I went on 'date'? with the local man - ended up paying for my own meal which is OK, but I am not sure if that means it was just a friendly get together or whether it was a date. I am not sure anyway as to whether he could/would be a romantic interest, but it is nice to spend time exploring that side of myself. I do think however I got ripped off!! So cross with myself for not pointing it out at the time - We went to Pizza Express (they do a vegan pizza hurrah!) - and had a pizza and a cider - Should have come to about £15 each - the bill was for £34 - but before I knew it - having put £20 cash on the table for my half - my companion said to the girl to take £40 to cover the tip - I didn't twig to it until we walked away - but the tip was already on the bill - the extra £4 - we ended up giving a %25 tip - which ordinarily I would just have shrugged off mentally but this time it stuck my head a bit as I am truly counting every penny. £4 is packed lunches for several days.... Ho hum... I mustn't get to obsessed but it does go to show I am taking cutting costs it seriously. The said companion was nice enough - funny and on the same page politically - but not sure we have much in common other than that. It seems I am a fuss pot.

    I am still not sure what to do with the BTx arrangements I have - I guess it is not fair to ask for people to advise really - it is tricky and ultimately my own responsibility to make those decisions. I had another offer today - Virgin card - 14 months 0% - nice to know I am not completely blacklisted for these offers and I hope they keep coming at the time I need to switch - just do I do it now or take the risk I get something offered in March /April??? Arghhhh decisions decisions.

    No progress on a lodger..... So hoping someone comes up through the local hospital.

    I've managed to get a mini nest egg together from sales - £238 so far. Overtime will be paid at the end of this month - a tiny bit of breathing space.... I am doing OK with getting back to work - interview likely for the job in November - and I feel optimistic without being over confident.
    It will be a HUGE relief to have permanency in my job role though.

    And I guess to finish today on - I haven't cried about money for a good few days - and I tell you it is easier to cope with being tight, than it is to cope with feeling the bone eating despair of helplessness over money and debt - taking action - almost any action is key to sorting out the stress and fear and worry. Mind you I am not going to dwell too much on this - as even thinking about it I can feel the little anxiety nausea bug creeping about in the pit of my stomach and I am very keen to keep that locked down. Not in denial but definitely trying to control it rather than it control me.

    Hugs everyone on their journey to financial balance and contentment.
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 3rd Oct 17, 7:42 PM
    • 3,669 Posts
    • 17,969 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Hi Mimi,
    Glad to hear you're still on it (the budgeting, I mean). I shall be right there with you this month with working a tight budget. Having recently had to replace our ancient washing machine, our equally cronky old vacuum & pay for repair work to the front of our house, I was less than impressed last week to discover my much needed new glasses would be costing over £450. I nearly needed the defibrillator when I saw the bill & it had to go on a blasted CC because the other things had depleted our savings pot. Bah! Though I should add that it is fab being able to see properly & if I hadn't opted for varifocals, I'd have needed to buy two pairs as my prescription isn't quite straightforward. So a tight month here also. Have set the budget. Tight but do-able. Had a useful morning picking courgettes, herbs & heaps of pears from the garden, putting with other home grown stuff & store cupboard ingredients & doing a bit of batch cooking: slow cooker black bean chipotle chilli, two pasta bakes & several containers of sliced pears poached with lemon & cinnamon. Started thinking about what can be rolled into meals for next week & think I'll do my meal plans tomorrow to keep me focussed. I'm also intending to update the list of what's in the presents box before pricing up gifts I need to buy. If the total looks as though I'll still be paying for it in 2018, then I can revise my list. My favourite moisturiser ran out at the weekend - £26. There is no way I could justify spending that amount this month, so I have bought one at a fraction of the price to use in the interim & will treat myself again when I know I can afford it. Oh, & no heating on yet. It's just not been cold enough, so we're saving a few quid there. We have been debt-free once (after decades of naughty frittering) & I didn't find it easy taking out a modest loan to buy a car last year, even though we've been overpaying it & knocked 2 years off it, & I am not happy I've had to put my new specs on a CC but I am feeling really focused at the moment. There is nothing I could buy now which would give me as much pleasure as being solvent.
    So let's get cracking on this tight month.....good luck with it! Am going to knit for my sales basket now.
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings grow!
    Loan pay-down fund instalment 2 = £120
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = £320 2016 = £210 2017 = £289
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 3rd Oct 17, 8:22 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,663 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    You are so right Mimi that fretting about debts is far more stressful than living on a tight budget. The difference is that you are in control.

    I agree with foxgloves too that there is nothing I could buy that would give me more pleasure than being solvent; very wise words.

    You are starting to make inroads into your debt but you still have money set aside for the uni open day and birthday. So your budgeting is clearly working
    Last edited by HairyHandofDartmoor; 03-10-2017 at 8:24 PM.
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Magpie100
    • By Magpie100 7th Oct 17, 10:05 AM
    • 65 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    Magpie100
    Hi MiMi,

    how are you getting on? I've been away for a few days and although I had Wifi I was very lazy and detoxing my mind from everything!

    I was so glad to read that you are less tearful and you do sound more in control. I know this month will require juggling and vigilance from you and it is mentally taxing - but hopefully if you can get through it and then get on a tight but do-able budget you will feel more in control. I have 6 days till pay day and it is going to be very tight but I do make far more focussed decisions in the last few days of the pay month.

    I agree both with the posters who say be kind with yourself but also with your own recognition that you HAVE to be tough with yourself when it comes to money. Be kind about not berating yourself for being in this position, because what's done is done, but be tough with the decisions you are making for the future and for your budget at the moment. I think the Pizza Express experience shows your mindset is changing - when you aren't focussed on money it is easy to let these little things slide, but even if you didn't challenge them on it it is good that you noticed and were irritated by the overspend!

    Let us know how you are getting on when you can and what challenges the month throws up. People here are great at finding a way round anything that suddenly rears its head on the money front so do ask for help if you need it. Hope you are continuing to heal well. M100X
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 7th Oct 17, 8:16 PM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    Hi Magpie100

    Arghhhhh is how I am. I am so happy to log on and see everyone's and your kind words.

    I have been doing pretty well - everything contained just about until today when I have had two unfortunate things happen that just have made me feel undone - this is on the back of doing my winter wood order £150 cash for Wednesday. The two small this that reduced me to tears of anger and self pity are (the first one is bordering on ridiculous so get ready to roll eyes):
    Went to do small weekend shop in local Co-op. I get a discount as my son works there on Saturdays. I spent £20.19, and at the counter realised that I have forgotten my discount and membership card. Loss of £2.19 discount. Was very annoyed with myself walking home.
    Prior to going the Coop I had walked to the vets to pick up cat flea and worm medicines and then walked into town to get cheap batteries (saved fuel - walking and good for health etc) and did not want to carry anything heavy so I put my cash £15 and debit card in my pocket and coins in a tiny purse (£4.20) and off I went. Wandered in town, went to Poundland and paid for batteries with coins, browsed in book shop and chatted to store staff I get on with, went and looked at TK Maxx and bought nothing (yay!) and then went to River Island to get ideas for son for Christmas / birthday. Bought nothing as planned. At some point in town (I can't remember where exactly, I became aware of the debit card creeping up out of my jeans pocket, so I went to secure it and it fell to the ground. I picked it up and put it in the bag with batteries from Poundland. Then walked to Co-op where I bought the few things needed and realising I needed to use my debit card as £15 didn't cover it and then realising I had forgot the store membership card. Cross self paid with debit card miserable about lost discount and THEN as I walked out the store I realised.....'where is my £15 cash!?' Arghhhhhh. I have lost in on my meandering. It must have slipped up out of jeans pocket and fallen to the ground without my being aware. There is a slim chance this happened at the vets so I will call them tomorrow and see.

    I feel so stupid!! I have been penny pinching so well, and while I ended up using my cc to pay for my son's birthday gift it is planned (cash aside for this but wanted the protection that buying on cc gives). But the day to day costs I have been bloody brilliant with - but there is no slack so £15 is half a weeks food at the moment and I feel so exasperated with myself. And angry. Why didn't I take my wallet ? (It weighs a tonne) I was intent on not stressing my pelvis by too much weight so I did a stupidly casual this and put the money in a pocket. Not a safe thing to do with cash! Arghhhh. Crossness in me almost immediately transforms into tears which my poor son is quite bewildered by. 'Stop thinking about it Mum' which is good advice. But another her lesson learned. That heavens it wasn't more than that amount.

    So lessons are - while using cash has helped me get in touch with the realness of spending, unless it is very secure, take a card.
    I have been so focused in saving and debt paying which is good, but I don't want to have this emotional response to small losses. Need to strike a balance.
    Buy a light weight wallet when I can.

    Arghhhhhh!!!

    So enough about me.

    I'm glad you had a good time away Magpie and got time out and detoxed from everything. Very important isn't it.

    And Foxgloves! I too had the varifocal heart attack two months ago. Mine went on cc but paid off in full - but they make a fortune out of our wonky eyes. Mine were £499. Trying to find a frame that fitted the varifocals and my not a gargoyle head was fun. I have a little head.... now I sound weird.
    I love the ideas you share for batch cooking and ways to keep focused. I too have a cardigan on the go for a knitting project. Won't do it tonight as I am definitely too bad tempered to do it without mucking up the pattern. And I agree with you and Hairy hands (small headed not a gargoyle and hairy hands. What an image?!) - solvency is the goal I have and while it's a long path for me, it outweighs small spending pleasures by a long shot. And most of my debt has been small spending pleasures.

    Having said all that, I do want a nest egg to grow alongside repaying the debts - I want to go volunteering overseas and I want to see my brother in Australia for his 60th next October. I have been utterly blessed in that a good friend in Australia has insisted and put the money into my Australian bank account, that she wants to pay for my flights - so I have places to stay and flights covered so it'll be saving for additional spending money and the cattery for my fur babies. These two goals can only happen if I do it by cash, so saving and debt repayment give a massive focus and goals for me. Solvency, family contact (not seen my brother since 2010) and doing something like volunteering to open up other opportunities to help me deal with empty nest when that happens next year. That's the plan.

    £700 off debt each month and squirrel everything else I can away. Not in my bl.... pockets.

    Need to eat and maybe rummage through last years Christmas drinks for a little of something nice. And a movie. Not thinking about £15 anymore. Grumble grumble grumble.
    Last edited by MiMi66; 08-10-2017 at 10:31 AM.
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 7th Oct 17, 9:08 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,663 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    I've been there Mimi so I understand how losing cash can make you tearful when you're trying so hard to save.

    Once I went to an appointment and they'd got in a muddle and asked if I could come another day, and I burst into tears because I had wasted £2 bus fare They were so taken aback that they said I could see someone straight away

    Life can be hard on the debt free road but in the long term there are massive rewards

    Look in charity shops for a lighter wallet, I've seen some nice ones in there. Would a light rucksack be something you could carry on a long walk to keep your stuff safe?
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Magpie100
    • By Magpie100 8th Oct 17, 12:57 PM
    • 65 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    Magpie100
    ARGH on your behalf, MiMi! How frustrating. I expect it is the universe just testing your resolve and making sure you are committed to this debt-busting lark.

    BUT. There are some positives. You were annoyed (rightly) about missing out on the discount. So next time you'll hopefully remember your card. and even when you realised you had lost the £15 you didn't go and blow more ££ on a coffee and cake or similar to cheer yourself up. You gritted your teeth and got on with life. Your emotional response isn't surprising, to be honest - now you are focussing on every penny they all seem more meaningful. I know it's a blow, but it shows your thinking has changed. AND you didn't buy anything in the hall of temptation that is TKMaxx. So now the universe knows you mean BUSINESS.

    I like your Australia and volunteering goals very much. Once you have got in to the swing of living on your DMP-lite budget perhaps we'll be able to find ways for you to refine it even further so you can start saving money towards them, too. Hope you have a good Sunday and don't dwell on the lost ££ any more. You didn't let it derail you and now you can move on. M100X
    • foxgloves
    • By foxgloves 8th Oct 17, 2:38 PM
    • 3,669 Posts
    • 17,969 Thanks
    foxgloves
    Hi Mimi,
    Oh how very annoying about losing that money. I'd have been so mad! I can't guarantee I wouldn't have headed straight for the nearest coffee shop to sink my woes in a big cup of something nicely caffienated & a whopper of a cakey, so well done for not going down that route!
    I am running a tight budget this month, not helped by the naughty new glasses & I do know what you mean about feeling anxious on those occasions when you do, genuinely, have to spend some money. Last night, I had a very vivid dream that we ordered a new washing machine & when we unpacked it, it was one of those large plastic laundry liquid detergent bottles with a motor fitted. I spent most of the dream trying my hardest to do the washing in it, but try as I might, I could only fit one pair of mr f's pants & 2 of my socks in. I switched it on & surveyed the enormous pile of laundry on the floor trying to work out how many loads it was going to take to get it all done. On waking up. I lay there thinking about this, & I'm sure it's money-related somehow! We did have to replace our very old washing machine this summer & it was the start of a run of things breaking down, needing repair.......& the associated expense, culminating in my new glasses.......hope they actually ARE the culmination, as I want to get everything straight so as to pay for some essential changes to our wills which I'm fretting about, as well as building up funds which were depleted by the above necessary spends.
    Am still feeling focused though. Our budget for groceries this week was £53 (me, big hungry husband & large greedy cat) & we spent £43.53.......that was £39.03 at Aldi & £4.50 on a jar of local honey at our village farm shop. Have updated grocery budget & sorted out all outstanding little budget swaps & stuff to keep everything straight. Have also had a thorough sort through my big presents box & made a better list of Christmas gifts I've already bought for people (I put things away all year to spread the cost) and have made a list of those items still to buy. Some of these items are quite small & nothing all that expensive. That will just leave gifts for mr f & I am going to talk to him about that & agree on a spending limit for gifts to each other. I will leave plenty of time for researching prices too as last year, there was a fairly straightforward DVD on his wish list & I found a difference of £16 on the best & worst prices for it....that's just on one item, so will use my current burst of motivation concerning all things money saving & give myself time to do the price checking.
    It's good to have a long term goal.....your Australia/volunteering goal will probably be a good motivator for you over the coming months. I don't really have that kind of goal in mind, I just want better financial security but in future, when we can access our pensions, we would really love to move near to the sea, have a county & area in mind & even though it's a more expensive area of the country than we currently live in, it isn't outside the realms of possibility as long as we are sensible with our finances between now & then..........we are nowhere near our pensions yet, so plenty of time to try & keep saving, but we are reliant on the public sector for our income & have already been hit hard by the 'austerity' agenda, so we are keeping it real in terms of expectations. It does help to have a lovely goal in mind, though, doesn't it?
    Well, I must crack on with some more knitting for my sales basket now, so will wish you a fabulously sensible money-saving week ahead.
    F x
    Money can't jump out of your purse on its own so ask 'Can I borrow one, make one, grow one, bake one, re-purpose or recycle, acquire it for free?' Yes? Then put that purse away & keep your money because little savings grow!
    Loan pay-down fund instalment 2 = £120
    Payment received from surveys: 2015 = £320 2016 = £210 2017 = £289
    • 117pauline
    • By 117pauline 8th Oct 17, 11:45 PM
    • 327 Posts
    • 4,598 Thanks
    117pauline
    Have you ever noticed how similar we all are? I too have forgotten a card or dropped money in the past, usually when I wasn't feeling great. It is demotivating as well.

    However your body will still be recovering from the stresses it has undergone recently.

    I can't remember if I suggested a self care list to you. When things are not going my way I forget what helps me back on to an even keel. The list prompts me. It is full of cheap/no cost ideas such as a bath and music, read a chapter of Jane Austen book, etc etc.

    Have a better week
    Pauline
    Don't get it perfect - Get it going
    Better Than Before
    • MiMi66
    • By MiMi66 9th Oct 17, 8:14 AM
    • 167 Posts
    • 485 Thanks
    MiMi66
    I think I have the loveliest, kindest and most pragmatic thread subscribers an indebted woman could ask for. Thank you all again for the support. I am over my hissy fit about the loss of cash and keeping focused. Plotting how to pay for Christmas and setting modest plans around that. Clothes for lovely son, beauty care box for best friend (others will be possibly in receipt of homemade fare but I must practice as this could backfire!). I need to think for my daughter, clothes maybe but she is notoriously difficult to get that right for. And then my Mum. Another tricky one. And that is it. The few others will be card, wine and hopefully good biscuits or homemade truffles! Yum. It will be fab to not have a Christmas induced Credit Card balance that I need to transfer and all being as planned that is not going to happen!

    One thing I had forgotten is that beyond the open day in London, my son and I are going to one in Oxford - fuel, food and and overnight stay. Early November - hmmmmmm. Grumble, good stuff but more cash need. Will look to cover that out of next month's budget but might need to book a room earlier - any cheap recommendation for accommodation in Oxford near Oxford Brookes University?

    Was thinking about my monthly payment countdown. 54 now soon to be 53 months to freedom! It'll be nice to get to 49! I didn't transfer any balances as yet as I've been reassured that the offers are still coming in. Fingers crossed for a good offer in the new year to do the transfer that I will need to move then.

    I'm back in the garage this morning clearing space for wednesdays wood delivery and likely taking stuff to charity that hasn't sold - not sure how long to keep my stuff for on Facebook sales etc, haven't had a sale for a week despite dropping prices. Have a sky box, soon to be 2 of them for sale and some god curling tongs (will keep them if they don't sell and try another time.) a fish tank and a few smaller items. I still have drawers of memorabilia to sort and reduce. Hard to do that one.

    And then an overtime shift this afternoon. Love them, love the money. I am the happiest overtime worker I know. Just so grateful I can get the odd extra shift.

    Have a lovely start to savings this week all!
    Last edited by MiMi66; 09-10-2017 at 8:17 AM.
    MiMi66 02/09/17 NWCC: £4906/£4974; NW loan: £9636 /£10097 - 3.4%; M&S:£6102 /£6502; VIRGIN: £6955 / £7096; Halifax: £9245 /£9485;
    =
    £36844 / £38154 Amount pd off cc £01310
    DFD 01/04/2022
    Mtgage1 - £75452/ £107K
    Mtgage2 - £12960/ £19K Overall M'gage £88412
    Overall Mortgage and debt - £125256/(£127451 30/08/17)
    • HairyHandofDartmoor
    • By HairyHandofDartmoor 10th Oct 17, 12:15 PM
    • 1,407 Posts
    • 3,663 Thanks
    HairyHandofDartmoor
    Aww thank you. Hope your'e having a good day today Mimi. Glad you're feeling more cheerful
    My Diary http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5716867
    Debt at highest = £58,766
    Current debt = £16,234, Emergency Fund = £200
    Long Hauler No. 156 Spendaholics Anonymous No. 47
    • Magpie100
    • By Magpie100 18th Oct 17, 1:29 PM
    • 65 Posts
    • 157 Thanks
    Magpie100
    MiMi!

    what news? How are you getting on? christmas? Budgets? Lodgers? Overtime? Would be lovely to hear how you are getting on and to see what challenges the universe has sent you.

    Mags100X
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