Should I still ask for wedding gifts?

Former_MSE_Nick · 11 March 2015 at 5:36PM

I'm getting married later this year and I've just unexpectedly inherited a fair amount of money. I was going to send out a wedding gift list of items we wanted for our new home, but now I can afford these myself I'm wondering whether that's still appropriate. Should I just buy the items myself and let the guests enjoy the wedding without having to pay for gifts, or keep quiet and still send out a list and use the money for something else?

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iscamaid · 17 March 2015 at 9:37PM

I like your thoughtfulness, especially if some of your guests have not got a great deal of spare money. Some people do like to buy something, if only to mark the occasion. Is it possible for you to think up a list of small but personal gifts which do not have a large monetary value but will commemorate the day. Things such as a photo album, picture frame, rose bush for the garden, plants or even a small service they could do to help with the wedding. Explain why you are not asking for large gifts and say that buying something is optional but if they would like to get you something to remember the day with it should something small.

ablokeexcitedaboutaweddin · 17 March 2015 at 9:54PM

We specifically told everyone we didn't want anything.

We both live together and have done for a long time, have practically everything we need. When sending our invites out we specifically said no presents however I understand that people are still going to give us something.

We're going on our honeymoon two weeks after (we're getting married on Saturday, EEEEK!) so suspect that many will just add a bit of money to our already huge amount of spending money for our holidays.

Suffice to say, no matter how much you try, telling people you don't want anything is pointless. They simply don't listen (or at least in my experience lol)

Hope you have a great day!!

supertomsk · 17 March 2015 at 10:39PM

How about donations to a charity?

his_missus · 17 March 2015 at 11:24PM

I agree with supertomsk. Maybe ask for donations and explain there wiill be a box to post donations in. people can contribute as much or as little.

Alternatively you could just put small, inexpensive items on a wedding list for those who feel they want to buy a gift.

ZsaZsa · 17 March 2015 at 11:56PM

I wouldn't attend without a gift, and I prefer not to buy token gifts (for any occasion, I'd hate to waste money on clutter), or give cash. But I'd happily give a charity donation, I think that's a lovely idea.

blackgreyhound · 18 March 2015 at 8:45AM

When we got married we were combining the contents of two houses into one; we didn't need anything so asked our guests for donations for the church where we were married. People were very generous and many gave more in donations than they would have spent on a present and there was no pressure on those who couldn't afford much.

gloriouslyhappy · 18 March 2015 at 9:59AM

We were in the situation of combining two houses and had pretty much everything, so our invites said no presents but invited people to bring a bottle of bubbly for the party. Which they did - in fact, most people brought two, with the second bottle, usually a premium brand presented in a pretty bag, specifically marked as to be put aside for ourselves for later. We got so much bubbly we drank it for a whole year afterwards, and everyone got to bring something which made them feel happy. Plus, it made for a very merry party, and we had loads of lovely bottle bags to re-use.

Happy wedding day to everyone getting married this year, but most of all that person getting married on Saturday!!

Petaldust · 18 March 2015 at 10:27AM

In this day and age I think it's wrong for anyone to assume that everyone can afford a present, especially as the day should be about being surrounded by family and friends rather than gifts, so I much prefer invitations which say something to the tune of "we'd rather have your presence than your presents" - albeit in a less corny way.

joehoover · 18 March 2015 at 10:34AM

I do always wonder with wedding lists these days as most people have lived together for a while and have everything, so usually they are upgrading which I just find a bit wasteful. Last one I had was for a rug for £800, a BBQ for about £700, you get the idea, I got the BBQ tools at £25 and no one bought the BBQ!

I'm all for contributing to a honeymoon, would rather people had an experience rather than something like a set of wine glasses.

But in regards to your question, only one person so far mentioned charity, one wedding I went to did this and I bought a goat for a village.

http://www.oxfam.org.uk/shop/wedding-and-gift-lists

cats2012 · 18 March 2015 at 11:21AM

I just didn't say anything on my invite about gifts, people then made their own choices which meant we got a mix of a bit of cash, some vouchers and a few thoughtful gifts. Ideal really!

Should I still ask for wedding gifts?

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