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  • FIRST POST
    Jojo the Tightfisted
    Hoarding - A New Start
    • #1
    • 1st Jan 13, 12:23 AM
    Hoarding - A New Start 1st Jan 13 at 12:23 AM
    Right, it's a new year and there could be any number of lovely newcomers tentatively looking for a safe haven to help them in their struggle against The Stuff.

    So, rather than struggle around our first thread, let's start with a clean, clutter free path to support, encouragement and understanding.


    Here's the introductory post again:-


    Welcome to the Thread

    This is a friendly, supportive thread for anybody who is affected by hoarding issues. Hoarding isn't just untidiness, it isn't laziness - it's a genuine problem, and it can affect generations of families, all in different ways.

    Some of us are the product of an environment where somebody else's hoarding affected us deeply, some have much loved partners, some have the condition and are trying to deal with the emotional and practical issues involved. Some are the exact opposite and just want to help. Everybody is welcome.


    So, if you would like to post, whether once or often, lurk quietly in the shadows, never saying a word, or if you have an interest in understanding why this is happening to somebody, please, come in, take a seat and someone will be popping in to say hello.


    We don't hide our thoughts or our opinions - it isn't a thread for agreement, if someone thinks another poster is making excuses or avoiding the real issues, we will say so in a fair, calm manner. We're not going to tell you that hoarding is OK. But we do understand it's more than tidying up. We've seen it, we've experienced it one way or another. We are unshockable, so don't hide your problems, thinking we'll judge you.


    ************************

    Through the course of this thread, we're realising just how much hoarding confuses our lives and our emotions - and hoarding is inextricably linked to emotional pain, loss and unresolved feelings.

    A poster has asked the question - what happens next? This is her question and the reply I gave - it may help somebody else;


    I am also dragged down by fear...what happens when I've de-hoarded...what happens if I'm still unhappy and lonely...?



    You feel the same emotions, but

    you are capable of finding clean clothes,
    a pair of socks,
    of sitting down on any chair,
    of going to bed without having to take your life in your hands going upstairs,
    of inviting someone round who wants to see you and could make you feel less lonely without concern for their opinion or personal safety,
    you have more money as you aren't spending it on 'stuff' to fill the hole in your heart.

    You aren't harbouring mould spores,
    dust mites
    and various other nasties that can sap your strength and make you or your loved ones unwell.

    You have space to think,
    to adjust,
    acknowledge,
    adapt to the uncomfortable feelings,
    as you aren't hemmed in by distractions such as a pile of things over there that are threatening to fall over.


    You can find different things to do that can give you pleasure - having a lovely colour on the walls,
    finding a beautiful picture, having it framed and putting it on your wall where you can see and appreciate it properly,
    going out and starting other activities,
    inviting friends round without worrying,
    not stressing about the gas man,




    It doesn't solve everything. But it makes the day to day so much better, easier, smoother. Which gives you time and space to deal with the harder stuff.


    ************************
    Last edited by Jojo the Tightfisted; 01-01-2013 at 12:27 AM.
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.

    Yup you are officially Rock n Roll
    Originally posted by colinw
Page 65
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