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Shyness/poor social skills/social anxiety/Asperger Syndrome & interviews/applications
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# 1
anewman
Old 30-06-2007, 3:21 AM
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Default Shyness/poor social skills/social anxiety/Asperger Syndrome & interviews/applications

You

Have you had or are you currently experiencing difficulties finding jobs and you feel it is because you have poor social skills, shyness, social anxiety, Asperger Syndrome or a similar related difficulty?

Had interview after interview go like lead baloons because of these difficulties and struggled with what to put about those communication skills that employers hanker so longingly after on CV's and job application forms?

Did you feel like you was never going to get a job because of this?

The big questions

If you have experienced these challenges in the past and now have a job, how did you overcome the difficulties?

Did you find some form of training or therapy that helped?

Any resources available that you are aware of?

Are there any special techniques you used to approach the interview process which got you the job?

If experiencing these difficulties now what have you tried and how successful did it appear to be?

I am basically looking for your experiences, so please share them . Of course one thing that works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else, but it can't hurt to share experiences and try.

Me (skip if required)

A little autobiography to describe my place in the unemployment world at the moment.

I left school before doing GCSE exams depressed and dejected after being one of the bullies' favourite targets in the school. I had to do something so applied for loads of jobs and all I got was a big pile of rejection letters as I had no qualifications of any kind. I went to Connextions I think it's called looking for advice, and expressed an interest in doing GCSE's. He looked at my school record and implied I wasn't up to doing GCSE's and should do one of the Government Opex training schemes they were pushing at the time. Did these training schemes, which I ended up leaving as in one I was unable to get a placement due to the same interview difficulty, and in the last one the NVQ assessor was off long term sick and therefore there was no way of getting an NVQ. So at this point in my life understandably I felt like a complete failure.

I then went to college part time to do maths and english GCSE. To cut a long story short I left college with the required 3 A levels for University. Went to University and studied Psychology, and got a first. A million miles away from where I was after leaving school you might think, but still I applied for jobs, got few interviews and the interviews I did have all went like lead balloons due to my poor social skills. I guess part of it is social anxiety. Whatever it is I cannot click my finger and make it go away. I feel like I am never going to get a job due to this difficulty. It will always be a problem, even if the problem is reduced somewhat. No job = I feel like a complete failure.

When applying for jobs and going to interviews I spend lots of time and effort in writing the applications, and researching and preparing for interviews. Yet often it doesn't always help when it comes to the interview as I become somewhat anxious when it comes to the interview situation itself. It becomes monotonous and I can only feel like I am wasting my time and money applying for jobs and going to interviews.

I know I am able to work well and I feel it would be a shame for me to remain jobless just because I am not good at interviews and some man behind a desk goes for the best communicator every time.

Possible approaches I am aware of

Getting the crappest possible job ever where no interview is involved (they just check you have a brain and a pulse) - not good for your mental well-being but gets you minimum wage and possibly a step up the ladder and an opportunity to develop social skills when you're not working your hands to the bone to meet manager's over-enthusiastic targets.

Voluntary work - no money, more opportunity to develop social skills. Looks good on CV when it comes to looking for jobs. Likely problem - takes lots of time to develop social skills - still have difficulty in interviews.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy based self-help books - need effort, time and possibly the sort of insight you might only get from an experienced clinical psychologist who specialises in CBT, rather than a list in a book.

The Shaw Trust - http://www.shaw-trust.org.uk/page/504/505/ looks interesting and worthwhile but no doubt they're geared up for all the "usual" challenges people with disabilities and mental health issues have when job seeking.

Get someone else to do the interview for you - obviously morally wrong and illegal and they cannot answer questions on your skills on your behalf adequately.

Last edited by anewman; 30-06-2007 at 4:57 AM.
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# 2
healy
Old 30-06-2007, 2:36 PM
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I think that doing some kind of work or activity would probably help with your social skills and confidence. As for CBT I think this would be a waste of time because I have read most people with Aspergers Syndrome are immune to this kind of simplistic therapy. Also I think the Shaw Trust would help because what you mention is a "usual" challenge for anyone jobseeking, there are very few people who do not get nervous in interviews. If you sent someone in your place to do the interview for you, apart from the drawbacks you have mentioned I think there could be a problem if they were successful and then a different person turned up for the job, unless you have an identical twin or can find a doppleganger!
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# 3
wolfehouse
Old 30-06-2007, 3:35 PM
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i found that going for interviews for jobs i did not want was great practise for the interview for the job i did want.

i went to several interviews over about 6 months without any intention of taking any of the jobs- (i was actually surprised to be shortlisted for some of them). i was still really nervous and i wouldn't have hired me either for any of them. but it let me practise in a safe way (nothing at stake). i was so used to rejection by the time my dream job came along that i was very relaxed.
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# 4
bluedove
Old 30-06-2007, 3:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anewman View Post
You

Have you had or are you currently experiencing difficulties finding jobs and you feel it is because you have poor social skills, shyness, social anxiety, Asperger Syndrome or a similar related difficulty?

Had interview after interview go like lead baloons because of these difficulties and struggled with what to put about those communication skills that employers hanker so longingly after on CV's and job application forms?

Did you feel like you was never going to get a job because of this?

The big questions

If you have experienced these challenges in the past and now have a job, how did you overcome the difficulties?

Did you find some form of training or therapy that helped?

Any resources available that you are aware of?

Are there any special techniques you used to approach the interview process which got you the job?

If experiencing these difficulties now what have you tried and how successful did it appear to be?

I am basically looking for your experiences, so please share them . Of course one thing that works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else, but it can't hurt to share experiences and try.

Me (skip if required)

A little autobiography to describe my place in the unemployment world at the moment.

I left school before doing GCSE exams depressed and dejected after being one of the bullies' favourite targets in the school. I had to do something so applied for loads of jobs and all I got was a big pile of rejection letters as I had no qualifications of any kind. I went to Connextions I think it's called looking for advice, and expressed an interest in doing GCSE's. He looked at my school record and implied I wasn't up to doing GCSE's and should do one of the Government Opex training schemes they were pushing at the time. Did these training schemes, which I ended up leaving as in one I was unable to get a placement due to the same interview difficulty, and in the last one the NVQ assessor was off long term sick and therefore there was no way of getting an NVQ. So at this point in my life understandably I felt like a complete failure.

I then went to college part time to do maths and english GCSE. To cut a long story short I left college with the required 3 A levels for University. Went to University and studied Psychology, and got a first. A million miles away from where I was after leaving school you might think, but still I applied for jobs, got few interviews and the interviews I did have all went like lead balloons due to my poor social skills. I guess part of it is social anxiety. Whatever it is I cannot click my finger and make it go away. I feel like I am never going to get a job due to this difficulty. It will always be a problem, even if the problem is reduced somewhat. No job = I feel like a complete failure.

When applying for jobs and going to interviews I spend lots of time and effort in writing the applications, and researching and preparing for interviews. Yet often it doesn't always help when it comes to the interview as I become somewhat anxious when it comes to the interview situation itself. It becomes monotonous and I can only feel like I am wasting my time and money applying for jobs and going to interviews.

I know I am able to work well and I feel it would be a shame for me to remain jobless just because I am not good at interviews and some man behind a desk goes for the best communicator every time.

Possible approaches I am aware of

Getting the crappest possible job ever where no interview is involved (they just check you have a brain and a pulse) - not good for your mental well-being but gets you minimum wage and possibly a step up the ladder and an opportunity to develop social skills when you're not working your hands to the bone to meet manager's over-enthusiastic targets.

Voluntary work - no money, more opportunity to develop social skills. Looks good on CV when it comes to looking for jobs. Likely problem - takes lots of time to develop social skills - still have difficulty in interviews.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy based self-help books - need effort, time and possibly the sort of insight you might only get from an experienced clinical psychologist who specialises in CBT, rather than a list in a book.

The Shaw Trust - http://www.shaw-trust.org.uk/page/504/505/ looks interesting and worthwhile but no doubt they're geared up for all the "usual" challenges people with disabilities and mental health issues have when job seeking.

Get someone else to do the interview for you - obviously morally wrong and illegal and they cannot answer questions on your skills on your behalf adequately.
Went through the same process, numerous application and three interviews with no positive result, now i work in a role where i meet different people, answer their question, give directions and general help, hopefully in a couple of months i will be able to fully develop the required skills.
thanks for this post, atleast i know i'm not the only person affected by this.
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# 5
Elle00
Old 30-06-2007, 3:49 PM
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I did share my experiences - you just either didn't read or ignored them!

I don't think I could have felt much lower than I did a year ago but I found a way through in the end by taking the cr*ppy job and working through my problems one at a time.

It's a bit of a contradiction to say that on the one hand you are too good for certain low paid jobs whilst not good enough for others! You're obviously very messed up at the moment and I'd suggest counselling for your confused self-image before you even think about working full-time.

No-one can solve your problems for you, you have to be willing to help yourself.
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# 6
anewman
Old 30-06-2007, 6:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle83 View Post
No-one can solve your problems for you, you have to be willing to help yourself.
Not looking for someone to solve my problems for me which is why I'm interested in what things are available and what other people have done to get somewhere. The status quo is unacceptable I'm sure you'd agree, which is why I'm looking to move on and I'm looking for ideas that will help me on a path to success rather than unemployment.

I don't feel I have a confused self-image. I have applied for jobs commensurate with my qualifications and supermarket jobs and jobs in little shops etc. But maybe the problem there is saying I have the qualifications, but if I leave them out it will look like a very long unexplained run of unemployment that the employers will be looking for answers for (peculiarly employers like people who are in work to employ). I feel like I can't win either way unless I lie.

I have been willing to help myself for many years. Willingness to help one's self does not directly instantiate change unfortunately. I can't see what you mean about wanting to help myself as surely I'd be acing interviews and in a job now if it was that simple!

And sorry yes I did not read your other post.

Last edited by anewman; 30-06-2007 at 6:14 PM.
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# 7
Nicki
Old 30-06-2007, 8:20 PM
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If you have Aspergers or suspect you might have, the NAS run a program which you may find helpful, which is aimed at getting those on the autistic spectrum into work. Its aimed more at high functioning autistic people and those with Aspergers rather than those with more serious issues, and geared up for a wide range of work, not just lowest common denominator. The programme lasts several weeks and covers areas such as CVs, interview skills and work experience. This may be worth looking into.
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# 8
lisa_75
Old 30-06-2007, 8:41 PM
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I sound very similar to you. I have Aspergers and am also on medication for social anxiety. I have just graduated with a first class degree, but am only applying for low paid part time work. I have not worked for over 12 years and at this point do not feel I could take on anything stressful or full time. I have not had a single interview, which is in itself depressing when I am applying for the bottom end of the career ladder! At this moment in time I feel any job will help my confidence. However, I have had confused tutors asking me why on earth a first class degree student is asking for a reference for Tescos!

My friends with fantastic communication skills have had to apply for literally tens of jobs, usually around 50, with only 3 or 4 interviews, so take comfort in the fact that job hunting is difficult for anyone. I am just going to keep trying, keep applying. That is all I feel I can do at the moment.
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# 9
**woody123**
Old 30-06-2007, 8:52 PM
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Hi all,

I've just read through the posts on this thread and thought i would add something about me..

I have a stammer and have had since i was about 7, at the moment it is mild but it can get worse at times.. I work in an office now and have done for nearly 9 years.. At first i could skip the telephone calls and try to have as little communication i could with customers but now my confidence has grown and i do use the telephone... I am very shy and probably only speak when spoken to.. When i'm amongst people i'm comfortable with i will open up a bit and have laugh..

I was bullied a bit at school and when i left started working towards my NVQ Level 2 in I.T and Business Admin at my local training centre run by the college.. They found me a placement in an office and i've been there ever since, luckily for me they took me on, i don't know what i would have done otherwise as going for jobs would have been very hard..

Wish all posters so far all the best for future
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# 10
Savvy_Sue
Old 30-06-2007, 10:50 PM
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I do not know if you have spoken to your GP about this, and I do not know what help might be available - looking at what the NAS has available might prove to be very useful.

However I do wonder if you are clinically depressed, and you may feel with good reason, but your GP may be able to refer you to a counsellor who can help with the self-worth issues and maybe even with the social skills.

And I would still recommend the voluntary work route. I suspect that nothing's going to work quickly, so the fact that it will take time to develop social skills is irrelevant. And yes, you may still have difficulty with interviews BUT there is always the chance that a vacancy will come up for which the interview is a formality. Or that you will be less anxious when you are interviewed by people you know.
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# 11
Elle00
Old 30-06-2007, 11:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anewman View Post
Not looking for someone to solve my problems for me which is why I'm interested in what things are available and what other people have done to get somewhere. The status quo is unacceptable I'm sure you'd agree, which is why I'm looking to move on and I'm looking for ideas that will help me on a path to success rather than unemployment.

I don't feel I have a confused self-image. I have applied for jobs commensurate with my qualifications and supermarket jobs and jobs in little shops etc. But maybe the problem there is saying I have the qualifications, but if I leave them out it will look like a very long unexplained run of unemployment that the employers will be looking for answers for (peculiarly employers like people who are in work to employ). I feel like I can't win either way unless I lie.

I have been willing to help myself for many years. Willingness to help one's self does not directly instantiate change unfortunately. I can't see what you mean about wanting to help myself as surely I'd be acing interviews and in a job now if it was that simple!

And sorry yes I did not read your other post.
If you re-read the paragraph you've written saying you don't have a confused self-image you'll realise you've contradicted yourself throughout which would beg to differ. You're also very much focused on the negatives and the problems rather than filling us in on the things I'm sure you must have achieved despite being unemployed (voluntary work got just a brief mention?).

You've asked should you take a job for an extra £42pw than you get on benefits and this does rather imply you're able to get such a job despite your now saying you apply for plenty of low paid jobs but can't get them. If you really wanted to work there is a job out there, it's just not the job you want right now. This is why I think you should work on yourself; to get the job you actually want. Eventually, if all else fails, you'll have no choices left but there are plenty of people out there who've been employed after a decade of signing on so all is not lost just yet.

I really do think it's your attitude to life that's holding you back and not your CV despite your protestations. If my brother got a good job after flunking out of uni and doing nothing but eat pies for four years, and I got a job in finance having been a wife then single Mum then shop girl for 2yrs I don't see why you couldn't get the right job if you changed your attitude too (something we both had to do).

My Mother's boyfriend has two degrees but wound up working as a postman due to his stutter and poor communication skills. Okay it isn't what he wanted but at least he brings home a wage and can support his two kids that he went on to eventually have later in life with Mother. He found another way to get something out of life even though his career never progressed.

Do this test if you're willing to look at yourself objectively: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/persona...sorder_test.mv PD is basically an umbrella condition that most "normal" people will fall under to an extent in at least one catagory (who's perfectly balanced?). This test can highlight which aspects of your personality need working on to help you focus. Most people would have low or even moderate results for one or some of the areas but if you get high or very high for a few you should really see your GP for guidance. It's a guide not a diagnosis remember! PD covers the main catagories of a person's personality where negativity can create problems getting on in life basically.

With regards to truly wanting to help yourself I'm afraid I have to again beg to differ. It's a bit like when I suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I THOUGHT I wanted to get better and was helping myself but in the end, a bit of CBT via a self-help guide made me realise that deep down this wasn't true. I was scared that if I got better things would be expected of me that weren't while I had a mental illness to excuse myself with. I was scared basically and it held me back but I genuinely did not see this for a long time. Finally realising that is what cured my "disorder" and here I am still cracking away at nearly gone midnight. I used to sleep 16hrs a day when I first got married and did so until my baby was 3m old and I had no choice but to reduce this to 12hrs!!!

I will of course say credit where credit is due because it is true you are here asking for advice on how to make changes even if you're unsure what changes need to be made. Recognising a problem is usually half the battle won and I hope things turn around for you soon.

All the best.

Last edited by Elle00; 30-06-2007 at 11:53 PM.
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# 12
CFC
Old 01-07-2007, 3:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anewman View Post
You

Me (skip if required)


I then went to college part time to do maths and english GCSE. To cut a long story short I left college with the required 3 A levels for University. Went to University and studied Psychology, and got a first. A million miles away from where I was after leaving school you might think, but still I applied for jobs, got few interviews and the interviews I did have all went like lead balloons due to my poor social skills. I guess part of it is social anxiety. Whatever it is I cannot click my finger and make it go away. I feel like I am never going to get a job due to this difficulty. It will always be a problem, even if the problem is reduced somewhat. No job = I feel like a complete failure.

When applying for jobs and going to interviews I spend lots of time and effort in writing the applications, and researching and preparing for interviews. Yet often it doesn't always help when it comes to the interview as I become somewhat anxious when it comes to the interview situation itself. It becomes monotonous and I can only feel like I am wasting my time and money applying for jobs and going to interviews.

I know I am able to work well and I feel it would be a shame for me to remain jobless just because I am not good at interviews and some man behind a desk goes for the best communicator every time.

Possible approaches I am aware of

Getting the crappest possible job ever where no interview is involved (they just check you have a brain and a pulse) - not good for your mental well-being but gets you minimum wage and possibly a step up the ladder and an opportunity to develop social skills when you're not working your hands to the bone to meet manager's over-enthusiastic targets.

Voluntary work - no money, more opportunity to develop social skills. Looks good on CV when it comes to looking for jobs. Likely problem - takes lots of time to develop social skills - still have difficulty in interviews.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy based self-help books - need effort, time and possibly the sort of insight you might only get from an experienced clinical psychologist who specialises in CBT, rather than a list in a book.

The Shaw Trust - http://www.shaw-trust.org.uk/page/504/505/ looks interesting and worthwhile but no doubt they're geared up for all the "usual" challenges people with disabilities and mental health issues have when job seeking.
I think it's a pity you did psychology and not a vocational course in a specialised area. At the moment, outside of academia, all you are offering really is the 'basic intelligence test' of a non-vocational degree. An employer will therefore want a well rounded individual, and you are competing against all the other graduates.

Could you turn your hand to writing? You could try researching some magazines and sending some 'speculative' articles in. You don't need any social or interpersonal skills for this, and if you got something published it would massively increase your confidence. I do not know whether graduates can mark exam papers now or whether it is only fully qualified teachers, but something that was paper based rather than people based should be right up your street.

Frankly, your lack of interpersonal awareness appears to me to even come over in most of your posts (eg. an insight into what others may think of what you say, or how they may react, or how they may feel), so I think you do have a real hill to climb in order to get a role in business commensurate with a degree. Any job where you are required to interact well with a team or with members of the public also does not appear to be a winner.

I think you might perhaps consider getting some specialist career advice and deliberately look into what kind of work is done predominantly alone rather than with other people, and outputs mostly written work rather than verbal. Aim for those jobs, and work out what you will need to do to be a good candidate, eg maybe a short vocationally orientated course. Interpersonal skills, from an employer's view, are then a 'nice to have' and not a 'must have'.

You mentioned in your other post that you feel that it is discrimination for employers not to employ you because of your lack of social, communication and interpersonal skills. Yes it is discrimination, in exactly the same way that no art studio would take me on as an employee, because I cannot draw or paint. I would be discriminated against in that job market.... absolutely correctly.

Employers want the best people they can get to fill their jobs. You need to play to your strengths, and not ask people to make allowances for your weaknesses in ways that they cannot do. At the moment, in effect you are asking an employer to take a risk on you on the basis that given time, you will probably be OK, as your uni referee has said, where instead they could take on somebody who gives them no risk at all now and who may, given time, be very good. This is not the same situation as making adjustments to a job to accomodate a wheelchair user or partially sighted individuals.

If you don't get a handle on this, and learn to really focus on what you would actually be good at, whatever that is, I fear you will desperately struggle with employment all through your life, and never truly understand why.

Last edited by CFC; 01-07-2007 at 4:11 AM.
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# 13
anewman
Old 01-07-2007, 5:07 AM
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Originally Posted by CFC View Post
Employers want the best people they can get to fill their jobs. You need to play to your strengths, and not ask people to make allowances for your weaknesses
Ok so perhaps those jobs which say "excellent communication and interpersonal skills required" are out.

There are still some "desk-based" jobs that come up occasionally. The last job I had an interview for as a research assistant involved taking data from clinical notes as opposed to direct contact with the clinical population. But it would of course have needed the occasional communication with appropriate people in external organisations, but would mostly have been desk-based, and most internal communication would have been e-mail based. I feel this job would have been suitable for me.

Also in terms of the allowing for my weaknesses issue, to get a job I have to go through the interview process. Even if the job involves being sat at a desk with no phone or contact with people all day or week long, and the employer couldn't care less how good I am at verbal communication etc. Unfortunately it's universal for employers to use interviews to select their employees.

The best communicators win in the interviews every time, even if the job requires zero communication/social skills, and that's where I feel the discrimination/unfairness lays mostly - the interview itself. So even if I did happen to be the best person for the job, and was not a risk whatsoever, I won't get the job just because of the interview. Even though my written application impressed them enough to interview me. I want to be valued and employed for my ability to walk the walk, not talk the talk.

Last edited by anewman; 01-07-2007 at 5:41 AM.
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# 14
Savvy_Sue
Old 01-07-2007, 12:03 PM
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The reasoning behind interviews is partly that someone else may have written your application - with the real person in front of them, do you appear to be capable of what you've written?

I know this might sound insane, but have you thought of joining an amateur dramatic society? There are usually plenty of backstage roles, where your lack of social skills might not matter initially, but you might pick up tips!

Joining ANYTHING would probably help - evening class in a subject which interests you, choir, cricket team ... whatever you enjoy!

DS1 (who has mild Asperger's) joined the juggling club at Uni and has a more hectic social life than I'd ever have expected!
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# 15
Jarvissa
Old 01-07-2007, 2:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elle83 View Post
My Mother's boyfriend has two degrees but wound up working as a postman due to his stutter and poor communication skills. Okay it isn't what he wanted but at least he brings home a wage and can support his two kids that he went on to eventually have later in life with Mother. He found another way to get something out of life even though his career never progressed.
Sorry, off-topic but I had to laugh at this (in a pained kind of way!) - I've got two degrees and I'm a postwoman. I don't have a stutter, aspergers or any lack of social skills... it's just after 7 years of academia, I like manual work (when the job is done, it's done etc, always a definite end in sight if you catch my drift...)

Although never a day goes by without my parents or friends telling me how I'm wasting my life...
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# 16
Nicki
Old 01-07-2007, 6:09 PM
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The best communicators win in the interviews every time, even if the job requires zero communication/social skills, and that's where I feel the discrimination/unfairness lays mostly - the interview itself. So even if I did happen to be the best person for the job, and was not a risk whatsoever, I won't get the job just because of the interview. Even though my written application impressed them enough to interview me. I want to be valued and employed for my ability to walk the walk, not talk the talk.
Whilst I agree with you that it is discriminatory to request good communication skills for a job that requires no communication, it isn't true to say that the best communicators always get the job at interviews.

The last two senior appointments I made actually went to people who did terrible interviews. The first person didn't answer any of the questions we asked in a particularly dynamic way, but came back into the room after the interview was over (just before we started deliberating) to say he knew he hadn't done well and to re-answer one question he had made a particular hash of. The other person we interviewed that day did a great interview but when we looked at her qualifications and references they weren't as good. The second post was given to the most nervous candidate, who had to keep starting again with all her answers, and when asked if she had any questions at the end of the interview, asked if we would give her feedback on improving her interviewing skills as she was sure she hadn't got the job!

Properly trained interviewers are good at sorting out those who are nervous or socially a bit awkward from those who are bluffing about their capabilities, and that is the basis on which they make their decisions. You may want to consider next time you are invited for interview, warning the interviewer in advance that you get nervous/shy/whatever at interviews so that you feel more comfortable about the whole set up, then go in and talk about what you know without worrying about what the interviewer is thinking about your personality!

Good luck!
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# 17
anewman
Old 01-07-2007, 6:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Nicki View Post
and when asked if she had any questions at the end of the interview, asked if we would give her feedback on improving her interviewing skills as she was sure she hadn't got the job!
Wouldn't have thought about that. Wish I asked that at my interview in Huddersfield as when they asked me if I had any questions, I knew I was wasting my time asking the questions I wrote down with how poorly the interview went.

And I'm sure although these people did badly, I'd have done doubly worse.

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Originally Posted by Nicki View Post
You may want to consider next time you are invited for interview, warning the interviewer in advance that you get nervous/shy/whatever at interviews
Always wondered whether this would just lead to less interviews, and I know I would feel more self-conscious about the issue if I made a point of it. I did retrospectively ask after an interview at Huddersfield if doing exactly this would have made any difference (and he gave a short phone conversation with me as I previously studied in the department in which he worked), and he felt it would not due to needing to deal with people's queries etc as part of the job, which is fair enough. He did seem impressed with my written application though, if not the interview.
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# 18
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Old 01-07-2007, 8:34 PM
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Thinking through the answers to questions before hand and having them preped is very useful to give a good interview and to overcome shyness.
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# 19
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Old 01-07-2007, 8:50 PM
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Originally Posted by anewman View Post
Wouldn't have thought about that. Wish I asked that at my interview in Huddersfield as when they asked me if I had any questions, I knew I was wasting my time asking the questions I wrote down with how poorly the interview went.

And I'm sure although these people did badly, I'd have done doubly worse.
I know it's hard, but please please try not to think like this. I'm not a devotee of 'the power of positive thinking', ie if you wish hard enough for something it will happen, but I DO believe that if you think negatively, negative things WILL happen!

Plus, when I took my driving test 2nd time, I was sure I'd made a hash of something early on, so I thought blow it, I'll just enjoy the drive. Which I did. Then when it came to the theory questions at the end I nearly said "Why don't we agree NOT to waste each other's time, I know I've failed." And I hadn't! But I surely would if I'd refused to answer the theory questions at the end.

Plus you never know how badly others will perform. I've done interviewing, and can scarcely credit the disparity between some written applications and face to face answers. I'm not talking social skills, anxiety, shyness here, I'm talking plain stupidity!

And for once, studentphil is right (although if he takes over this thread I shall report him to abuse!): if you think in advance about likely questions and practice the answers either in front of the mirror or with a friend it can only get easier!
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# 20
anewman
Old 01-07-2007, 9:30 PM
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Thinking through the answers to questions before hand and having them preped is very useful to give a good interview and to overcome shyness.
Tried this myself, thnking of all the possible questions based on the job description, and tried to think of examples of when I have ... x... but with the nerves of the interview and self-doubt that keeps growing and everything turning over in my head, if I had pre-prepared a perfect answer to all the questions it wouldn't help much unfortunately. Not saying it's not worth doing of course as I am completely useless doing the opposite and stringing answers together on the spot.

But perhaps with time and experience the process will get better.
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