How much money to give as wedding gift?

Jet · 28 July 2005 at 11:25AM

My boss is getting married next Saturday and has asked all his invitees to give money rather than buying gifts. So, no chance of me making an OS wedding gift then, which I was looking forward to doing!

Now money is really tight for me and I need to buy an outfit for myself for the wedding (the last wedding I went to was about 10 years ago!), I'll be buying my outfit from Asda, Tesco, Primark or other such cheap outlet. So as well as this I'll be spending £15 on petrol and buying drinks (soft) as I'm driving, it's not going to be a cheap day.

Obviously there will be entertainment at the wedding and free food and I'm sure I will have a lovely time. I will be attending with my 7 year old son and possibly my partner although it depends on his work commitments.

So my question is how much money would you give?

idiot_3 · 28 July 2005 at 11:29AM

if you can do it anonymously, simply as much cash as you can reasonably afford. just put it in a plain envelope. its a bit sneaky of your boss to ask for cash anyway. he is clearly on more than you (he is your boss!) and so shouldn't need it as much.

bugs · 28 July 2005 at 11:34AM

How long is a piece of string?

Personally for a person I liked, maybe £50.

For a work colleague as part of a collection about £10. Could you do a collection?

Or if things are really really tight, stuff his cash request and provide him with a voucher for something that you could do timewise - eg since he's your boss maybe you would stay late/over lunch/something like that so he could slope off early to see his new bride or take her to lunch; or a voucher to baby sit (if he has children) one night when he comes back from honeymoon...that kind of thing.

If he's a good sort (and he knows how much you get paid!) he'll understand and appreciate. You could even have a chat with him and say you would rather do something for him than just give an amount of cash that won't make much difference.

If he's not a good sort, give him a tenner and don't worry about it

squeaky · 28 July 2005 at 11:35AM

This one really belongs in Discussions I reckon, and I'll move it over there a little later...

..but on a personal note - what a rvddy cheek your boss has!

Being a grumpy old git I'd either ignore him and find/make a gift that I wanted to give or I'd hand him a certificate saying I'd made a donation (to charity of your choice) on his behalf for whatever amount.

Harumph!

misty · 28 July 2005 at 11:36AM

I would tell the truth and say look I'm really sorry but I can't afford to give cash at the moment but would love to give you both something instead is that ok? and do your HM gift. I'm sure he/she will say yes and to be honest if they said no - I wouldn't want to go anyway.

bugs · 28 July 2005 at 11:38AM

He's probably doing the cash to avoid those "lovely" ornaments from Aunty Jean and 43 kettles from the cousins, so in fact your home made present may be appreciated a lot more than his request makes out.

kirstyreanne · 28 July 2005 at 11:39AM

Personally, I think that it's very cheeky of your boss to actually ask for money in the first place & if i was in that position I would probably still make them an old style gift anyway - maybe something like a personalised photo album using a scrapbook for them to keep wedding photographs in or such.

You never know they might appreciate a surprise!

Badgergal · 28 July 2005 at 11:44AM

I agree that is cheeky and even though I am strapped for cash can never see myself doing that to people like employees, perhaps to close family but not employees (not that I have any, I am only a minion)!

My boss knows I'm on a meagre salary and when I bought someone on the team a bday cake and card from the team he asked me how much and gave me the money, I felt embarrassed to accept it instead of waving and saying "oh that's ok" but I did...

lush_walrus · 28 July 2005 at 11:52AM

I would give a little money, and still make your OS gift too. Sometimes people ask for money to stop loads and loads of toasters turning up!

Or if you do have a good relationship with your boss, just approach him and tell him you wanted to make something, rather than give money, and see what he says, Im sure he will be understanding by the sounds of it.

Jet · 28 July 2005 at 11:58AM

The wedding invitations were all worded the same. A little polite poem saying that they didn't want toasters etc. but if people wanted to give a gift they would like money. I do understand that as they have been living together for a few years, they don't need anything for the house.

Now I know they are about to move house (they are selling to release equity to pay off their debts acquired from frivolous over spending) and I just know the cash will be spent on this.

I suppose I'm annoyed that my money will just encourage more irresponsible overspending on their part. I think asking for specific vouchers would have been more appropriate and something I might do anyway - maybe something for their 3 year old little boy.

Gingham_Ribbon · 28 July 2005 at 12:00PM

sorry computer gremlins. Don't know how to delete this.

How much money to give as wedding gift?

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