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My 18 year old daughter wants to leave home

tessa0032
tessa0032 Posts: 14 Forumite
edited 31 December 2009 at 5:51PM in House buying, renting & selling
we are getting on so badly that we both think it would be a great relief if she lived in a flat locally for 6 months while she finishes her A levels.



Apparently I won't get Working Families Tax Credits after she leaves home but will get Child Benefit still as long as I'm supporting her. So my questions are: what's reasonable to give her, is she entitled to any state help? She will be looking for part time work and gets EMA £30 a week. I could rent a room out here and get £50 a week (we live in the north west so it's cheap round here) and she has some money of her own from presents from grandparents when she was a baby, astutely invested by her parents, etc.

Any comments welcome. My daughter has great plans for her flat, it'll be a pleasure to see her keep her own place tidy rather than the mess she keeps this place!

love, Tessa0032
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Comments

  • ciano125
    ciano125 Posts: 492 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    It could just be me, but if she wants to move out, she can pay for herself. She'll never learn the value of money otherwise. Also, I wouldnt want to see the money that we'd put away for our child swallowed up by some buy to let landlord either.
  • Radiantsoul
    Radiantsoul Posts: 2,096 Forumite
    First Post Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Agree with the person above, I suppose you could lend her the money though.

    Does she have any idea about bills, etc.
  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    I moved out at 17, or more to the point after yet another screaming row it was suggested I lodge with some acquaintances of the family. :o I was a brat but having to pay rent (a modest amount, my parents secretly topped it up) from my wages made me grow up quite a bit - I moved home at 19 and relocated to another part of the country on excellent terms at 20. :D

    I believe your daughter will only be entitled to state help (income support and local housing allowance) if she is estranged from you, in which case you cannot claim child support nor give her money. She would not get local housing allowance sufficient to run a flat, young people are expected to live in shared accommodation. As a full time student your daughter would not have to pay council tax, she would need to get an exemption certificate from college.

    Why a flat and not a lodgings or a shared house? A shared house or lodgings will be excellent practice for when she (hopefully) goes away to university and may make her realise how good she has it at home. I know in my teens I thought I should be able to eat what I want and go to bed when I want, but you have to learn to compromise in shared accommodation. I think your own flat is something you should 'earn' or aspire to, and with her own pad there is a danger it will become party central :eek: which would not be good for the A level results!
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • 456789
    456789 Posts: 2,305 Forumite
    Combo Breaker First Post
    don't give her money!!
  • tessa0032
    tessa0032 Posts: 14 Forumite
    All these thoughts are so helpful. She is very clear about bills, etc, she knows what she'll have to pay for. we live in a university town and there are plenty of rooms in shared student houses, but she doesn't want to do that as she is worried that she won't get any work done, cos she'll have to spend all her time getting to know her flatmates. She has plans to share a flat in London next year where she's going to study textiles. I think it seems fair to give her what I would get/will get from renting her room out, but she'll need to add a good deal to that for a flat of her own.
  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Why not rent a room from an older couple as I did? No distractions from study like a shared house ... or maybe you are being wrapped around her little finger? I'd have said or done virtually anything for my own flat at 17. :rotfl: She won't get much study done if she is working for minimum wage to fund all the bills on her own flat!
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • blckbrd
    blckbrd Posts: 454 Forumite
    Hmmm teenagers
    Opinion, advice and information are different things. Don't be surprised if you receive all 3 in response. :D
  • tessa0032
    tessa0032 Posts: 14 Forumite
    it's great to hear people's experiences. Most people I know (including me) left home at 18, she certainly wants to use this experience to improve our relationship before she moves away. I can't imagine how it will be - what would be good would be for her to try it out for a month rather than what has to happen which is she has to take a 6 month lease (but presumably can always sublet if it doesn't work out).
  • Kavanne
    Kavanne Posts: 5,093 Forumite
    if she wants to move out then she can pay for herself and sort it out herself. If you want her to move out you should pay for it and sort it out.

    If you want her to stay maybe you should look at some ways to restore your relationship? Why is it so difficult for you to get along? Would counselling help?
    Kavanne
    Nuns! Nuns! Reverse!
    'I do my job, do you do yours?'
  • Yorkie1
    Yorkie1 Posts: 11,546 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I'd have thought it unlikely that she will be able to sub-let a formal 6-month tenancy; you see threads all over the forums about people not being able to get out of tenancies despite things not going as planned. Whereas if she was a lodger (i.e. resident landlord) she is less tied in for long periods (although this does work both ways).
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