Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

ribenagirl · 21 May 2006 at 11:13AM

We are invited to a friend from work's evening reception in a couple of weeks time, and as they have been living together for a while (and are planning on getting a loft extension done) they have asked for money as a wedding gift (not even vouchers or anything, just cash!!)

Part of me really wants to give them what they've asked for, but the other part of me feels a bit uncomfortable to hand over cash which will just get swallowed up into a bottomless pit and will then seem very 'anonymous'. Knowing the groom as well, it's just as likely it'll end up being spent on Playstation games or beer

We did ask for cash or vouchers for our own wedding, but we kept a record of specifically what we bought with that money so that we could let the person who gave it know exactly how it had been spent, but you can't really do that if your money is going into some giant pot!

Any advice? Not sure (a) how much we should give - we have only been invited to the evening, so what's the going rate? (We live in the Midlands) Also, (b) any tips on how we could make the cash seem more of an actual 'gift' and something of value, if you know what I mean?

Thanks xx

jo_b_2 · 21 May 2006 at 11:22AM

Somebody else had a similar dilemma over on the Old Style board a while ago.
See HERE

Might give you some advice and things to think about.

miaxmia · 21 May 2006 at 11:27AM

I think it might depend on how good a friend this person is. I have been invited to a friend's daughter's evening reception and plan to give £25.

pavlovs_dog · 21 May 2006 at 11:32AM

when i was in the states, i found a great book on origami gifts you could make using paper money. depending on how good your folding skills are, this is one avenue you could consider to make your cash look a little more impressive. there are loads of origami for beginners guides online and in your local library :beer:

Thriftylady · 21 May 2006 at 12:01PM

Requests for cash set my teeth grinding... vouchers are fine, but cash, grrrr...in fact, requests for any specific gift gets my back up. I'm ok with wedding lists if they are a 'guideline' but I hate it when they are specific demands of the "we won't accept anything else" variety.

giving a wedding gift is meant to be about celebrating the event and congratulating the happy couple, not about funding their loft conversion......

I'm going to stop ranting now.

Bossyboots · 21 May 2006 at 12:27PM

Thriftylady wrote:

Requests for cash set my teeth grinding... vouchers are fine, but cash, grrrr...in fact, requests for any specific gift gets my back up. I'm ok with wedding lists if they are a 'guideline' but I hate it when they are specific demands of the "we won't accept anything else" variety.

giving a wedding gift is meant to be about celebrating the event and congratulating the happy couple, not about funding their loft conversion......

I'm going to stop ranting now.

I totally agree with you.

I agree with wedding lists, as we actually got a number of things we still haven't used from nearly 26 years ago so I do prefer to know I am buying something useful to the couple, but I won't give money.

skystar · 21 May 2006 at 5:24PM

I would never give cash as a wedding present or birthday/christmas present come to that.

When we got married two years ago we got some cash and it was a bit of a nightmare to try and keep track of it as most of it was given to us at the reception in cards and hubby had initially opened the cards took the money out "to keep it somewhere safe" and then forgot who had given it to him :mad:

We did have a wedding list but again this was more of a guidleline as to what we would like.

To be honest I would just have been happy for everyone just to be there. But obviously people want to get you a present.

When my sister's sister-in-law was getting married she also only wanted cash. My sister refused and bought here a present. Think I would do the same to be honest.

Dora_the_Explorer_5 · 21 May 2006 at 5:53PM

Asking for cash never used to happen. I think it's incredibly discourteous to do something which could embarrass guests before they've even set foot over the doorstep. In fact, it almost looks like an admission fee to the reception.
I'd be tempted to give them a B &Q voucher, so they can spend it on wood, cement and bags of nails. Actually to be honest the look of stunned amazement on my face when someone told me they wanted money off me if I wanted to attend the reception would be good enough for them to dis-invite me PDQ.

Lillibet_2 · 21 May 2006 at 6:23PM

How about a bottle of champers with a tag attached saying that it's to christen the completed conversion?

Personally I usually give money for wedding presents anyway, far more useful than inflicting my taste on someone else especially when I've never been to a wedding where the couple haven't been living in their own home/s for years & already have at least one of all the traditional gifts. The way I see it, any other gift might be a waste of money, and the MSE'r in me can't bare that!

HTH;)

Spendless · 21 May 2006 at 6:42PM

I don't mind giving cash or a voucher (and a £10 note costs the same as a £10 voucher) if I can afford it. What I dislike is the lack of choice. If I'm skint I might have something suitable in my present cupboard or I might stumble on a bargain in the sale. Asking only for cash or vouchers takes that option away.

rainee · 21 May 2006 at 7:15PM

our wedding present list is for a loft conversion but we have a list of supplies we need and for every bit bought it will be photoed and and sent with a thank you note.
the room is for us no one else except my daughter will have her own room with own door and not having to go through her brothers!
my friend asked if she needed to gift wrap the plaster board!!

Cash as a wedding gift - any advice??

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