Real-life MMD: Should I pay to see my girlfriend?

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  • pennypinchUK
    pennypinchUK Posts: 383 Forumite
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    There's a statistic that says the large majority of couples split up during or after the 1st term when one moves away to study. No doubt you don't want to hear that right now, but if you want to see her why not pay up. If your relationship goes the way of most others in your situation you won't be paying out for travel costs for too long.
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511 Forumite
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    I suspect you didn't go to uni yourself or you'd realize that normal couples where one is at uni simply don't see each other every weekend. Partly because of cost and partly because uni has so much going on it isn't fair to "book" your partner for every weekend.

    Why does it *have* to be every weekend anyway....is one of you very needy ?

    Frankly it seems you are more worried about money than her......so probably best to let it go (It did strike me that if you are normally "careful" with your money -she *might* be using the "who pays" issue as an excuse to dump you)
    I Would Rather Climb A Mountain Than Crawl Into A Hole

    MSE Florida wedding .....no problem
  • nanstallon
    nanstallon Posts: 5 Forumite
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    If she has facilities for cooking where she is, money can be saved that way. If you're interested in her, you'll take the travel costs on the chin unless you literally can't afford the fares. When I was a student, I used to hitch hike in the pursuit of true love, and it was often quicker than the train, but in today's rather mean spirited atmosphere, hitching has ceased to be a viable means of getting around.
  • tks_2
    tks_2 Posts: 8 Forumite
    edited 14 November 2012 at 4:51PM
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    Try less frequent visits, they'll suit your budget and will probably be more fun. Why not use skype or a similar communication system for a regular one-to one get together? As a money saving expert contributor you should be able to find the best travel deals. Coaches are slow but inexpensive. Many of us had to cope with financial and social restraints when young. I'm sure that you'll survive somehow.
  • Fujiko
    Fujiko Posts: 150 Forumite
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    lutzi1 wrote: »
    Sorry to be harsh, but on the basis of this posting she's better off without you.
    My own thoughts exactly! Whatever happened to romance?
  • Maat
    Maat Posts: 478 Forumite
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    Yes, you'd be paying the travel fares but she'll have costs associated with your visits too. I'm assuming she won't let you starve while you're there, so she'll have to buy more food. There'll be more washing up, more toilet roll use and so on. Also she'll be paying extra for fuel while you're there, as well as water if she's on a meter. Having someone to stay in your home costs so I'd say it probably about evens out and, as you say yourself, she doesn't earn so it's probably going to be harder for her.

    Just make sure you get the cheapest travel deal and, if you can, plan well ahead to get the best prices.

    Good luck :)
  • newcook
    newcook Posts: 5,001 Forumite
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    Brian_Steele wrote: »
    When my father was first going out with my mother, now his wife of 52 years, she was living in Paris and because he couldn't afford the kind of hotel that would allow him back in late at night, he slept under bridges to avoid missing out on his time with her.

    That's dedication: if she looks like a keeper, then make some sacrifices.


    This is so lovely and made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside – what a romantic story to be able to pass down through the generations!!

    I hope they are still as loved up now as they were back then!!


    OP – you don’t say how far you have to travel or how long you have been together. From the sounds of it though, the relationship isn’t going to last the distance (excuse the pun!)
  • Gillsx
    Gillsx Posts: 56 Forumite
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    Are you for real? You're really not bothered about her if you ask this question. Someone in love and wanting to see the person they are in a relationship with wouldn't be moaning about the cost, but thinking about how to make it more cost effective. No she shouldn't pay half......
  • happyinflorida
    happyinflorida Posts: 807 Forumite
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    If this is the way you're thinking then I think she'd be better off without you.

    She's not earning and you are but you want her to pay half of your travel costs.

    I do hope she's realised what a complete louse you are and has finished with you by now.

    I wouldn't encourage any daughter of mine to go out with someone like you.
  • 19lottie82
    19lottie82 Posts: 6,027 Forumite
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    Sorry to sound like a stuck record, but if you really wanted to be with this girl, then you wouldn't resent paying for your travel to go and see her at weekends!

    Asking your student girlfriend to pay half your bus / train fare is pretty tight IMO!
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