I can't believe I'm in this position again!!!

gfplux · 6 December 2012 at 7:29PM

Some posters have suggested your husband is controlling and I assume they understand this from various posts you have made.
However if he is controlling one area he has completely missed is your spending.
If my other half had endangered my family by getting into debt, one thing I would "control" would be the money. However he appears to have left you to get into debt again. Strange.

meg72 · 6 December 2012 at 8:01PM

alwaysworried wrote: »

I feel so low and down, I even considered ending it all but then thought what's the point my husband would still have my debts to pay. Even if I did end it, God wouldn't accept me because I ended my own life.
My family probably would be better off without me.

I am such a waste of space I really don't know why I was put on this earth!

No actually if the debts are in your name your husband wouldn't have to pay and I am told by believers that God does accept a person who takes their own life BUT don't you ever think that your family would be better off without you.

My Son thought we would be better off without him, We are not.
Our lives have been changed forever, the pain is devastating, the loss cannot be described.

Its only money love, and if the debt was 10m times as much it would still be only money. Debt is sortable Death isn't. Hope you feel better soon.

Hugs Meg

quintwins · 6 December 2012 at 8:06PM

If you find online spending your downfall, take money out you need in cash when your paid and do a jars system (or envelopes it's the same idea) then pay all your bills, change all dd to the same day (only not payday incase your pay is a few days later one month) then send the rest to your higest interest debt, or your smallest debt if you feel paying them off quicker will help motivate your more, simple fact is it you don't have it you can't spend it.

I'm also abit confused in that your husband must know something is up, he will surely have relised £15k of stuff coming into his house and now he'll def have noticed if your cutting everything to the bone he's bound to relise somethings up.

purple.sarah · 7 December 2012 at 1:12AM

The most important thing is to get help for your depression. Your family would not be better off without you, that is your illness talking. Your children need you, losing you would be far more devastating than the debt. Children don't need their parents to be perfect, they need them to be there. Please seek help and let your doctor know you have been experiencing suicidal thoughts/urges. Remember that there are people who care about your welfare.

You can contact Samaritans in the following ways:

Call
08457 90 90 90* (UK)
1850 60 90 90* (ROI)

24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
*call charges apply

Email
[EMAIL="jo@samaritans.org"]jo@samaritans.org[/EMAIL]

Find your local Samaritans branch.

Write to
Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, Chris, PO Box 90 90, Stirling, FK8 2SA

You could also contact Citizen's Advice Bureau for free, impartial debt advice.

Take things one step at a time and you will get through this. It is really positive that you have contacted Step Change and you're meeting your monthly payments and should have two things cleared by June 2013, you are doing really well. Take care, thinking of you.

DebtClearer · 7 December 2012 at 1:21AM

I suffered with depression in the last 2 years and within the last year I've also lost my long term partner and am now back living at home until Feb/March. At 26 I'm young enough to take stock and start over but it has been incredibly hard. This depression and desperation caused me to start gambling excessively and wiped away my savings and put my about £11k in debt....

I'll never get over the hurt of my ex and I've just had to pretend they are dead in many ways but I am determined to live my life how I want and I am back heading the right way. I am making a big effort with my debts and savings now and you can too. Take it day by day and make sure those payments keep being made. Start making a diary for your spending too!

We all have to believe and with belief and careful planning we can achieve a hell of a lot in life all by ourselves.

immie · 9 December 2012 at 7:24PM

Does your husband contribute enough to the household expenses? If what you have coming in isn't enough to meet the outgoings of the entire family, then cutting back is only going to solve part of the problem. The expenses of running a household is a joint responsibility, it's unfair for you to take the fall if he's earning more than you.

I can't believe I'm in this position again!!!

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