children, ADHD and DLA..do you receive it & what do you use it for?

Hello
I know this subject has been on here before...but i have a few questions :D

My soon to be 6yr old has been under pedeatric care for 18 months for the diagnosis of ADHD...we are now in the final stages of that diagnosis.
Alot of people have pointed out that after the diagnosis he would possibly be entitled to DLA (even his learnings support teacher said this). This has not been my main concern...i have too many things to worry about than this...however if he could be entitled to it why shouldnt i?

his paturnal grandmother has suggested it isnt a good idea to get him statemented and claim DLA as thats what she did for his father and it caused all sorts of problems as he got older that she was spending HIS money!

well my questions are...do any of you have children with ADHD and claim DLA?...if so what do you use the money for...id be very conscious about paying bills etc with it as its not MY money.
and as parents with children with ADHD know it is very tiring...and you always have to be on the ball so how does the DLA help? if it even does that is :)

thanks in advance for any replies
lolly x
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  • Indie_Kid
    Indie_Kid Posts: 23,077
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    If he gets statemented then it means he'll get the support he needs.

    DLA is given for the care and /or mobility needs and not the diagnosis. You have to prove that your 6 year old with ADHD has more needs than the average 6 year old.
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  • he does need alot more care than an average 6 yr old...the usual mantra of..if he hurts himself he wont do it again definatly does not apply...he has no sense of fear in that he will climb up anything jump off anything talk to anyone, no matter how many times he is told something is dangerous he will still do it...even if he hurts himself doing something he will still do it.

    he lacks the concentration to do simple tasks such as getting dressed just purely because he'll get halfway there forget what he has to do,...then do something else instead...he constantly needs to be reminded of simple tasks.

    his thinking is very literal if you dont explain something him with the tiniest detail he is unable to complete such task effectivly...which again can lead to dangerous situations.

    you need eyes in the back of your head with him...if not there could potentially be dangerous situations...it is very difficult on shopping trips, days out, because he do things that are deemed inappropriate i.e climbing on things.

    it isnt that he is naughty but his brain is busy if that makes sense.

    and im not so concerned about if he does get it....my question is if they feel he is entitled to it...how do others use it and how does it make the job of taking care of an ADHD child easier :D
  • To claim DLA, you do not need a diagnosis, it goes on the care needed.
    So, from the stage you are at now, I would apply for the forms.

    Get some help with filling them in. You can contact your council, and ask to speak to Welfare Rights. The benefits system is their area of expertise, and they will help you fill the forms out in the correct manner,

    List all your son's behaviours, and it will help you when filling out the forms.
    I know exactly what it's like, as many of your sons behaviours are the same as my daughter who is on the autistic spectrum,. Even at 14, it can be like going shopping with a toddler!
    Think also about issues relating to sleep, and the night time.

    Keeping a diary is also really useful, and can be used as supporting evidence.
    Always remember, it's the care and supervision he needs over and above a normal 6 year old. It may be obvious, but you need to make it so clear the difference in care.

    It helps if you understand the terms used when referring to the care of your child.
    Words such as 'attention' 'supervision' 'frequent' 'continual' 'prolonged' are used, and if you apply these to your child, it will get the message across loud and clear.
    The Decision Makers Guide refers to these terns, and how they are viewed, so take advantage of it.
    Here is the link http://www.benefitsnow.co.uk/dmakers/default.asp

    Here is some information where DLA relates to children http://www.benefitsnow.co.uk/special/children.asp

    The more supporting information that you can send in with your application, will help the Decision Maker.
    A report from the school will save time. As your child spends most of his day at school, this will normally be the first point of contact. It sounds as if they are supportive. Many schools seem to be fearful of putting anything in writing, and I can only assume this is in case you use it for trying to get extra support. But if the report focusses on you son's care needs, compared to his peer group, this will help.

    Don't get disheartened. It's not an easy process, but trying to get your application right, with help, will ease the process.
    If you are awarded DLA, it will change very little.
    You still have the same child, with the same difficulties.
    The money, which you use as you see fit, will just help ease the financial burden.

    Don't worry about the grandparents. Mine said 'let's not use the word autism!' as if it would magically disappear.

    Good luck, if you have any questions, you can always pm me,

    Regards
    Munchie
  • thank you so much for that.
    its so over whelming because i feel like maybe its all in my head and i should be able to control him better...but then school have difficulties also....they filled out a conners questionnaire for him...they let me look at it before they sent it and many of the things i listed they had too....made me feel a lil less insecure!
    i also see others coping with their cildren and think that they dont see him the same way i do...but it has to be said he behaves that way no matter where he is!

    its the constant ds stop that, get down from there, stop doing that, get dressed, leave your brother alone, etc etc that completly wears me out but does that constitute as more care....obviously some of the things that i have to repeat is to prevent someone getting hurt or something getting broken...i am so worn out...nothing i try helps....he seems to make up his own rules...we set rules, boundries, reward charts etc but after a while he then starts dictating how it should be done and it stops working....oh and the incessant talking...the second he wakes up to the minute he goes to bed.

    a good example of him not understanding how dangerous things can be...he has tiptoed downstairs in the past and used the toaster...even tho as a smaller child he biurned himself...we do unplug it and put it away but he has been known to plug it in...and we spend forever explaining its dangerous but it doesnt stop him.
    hes forever taking things apart...not destructivly but kind of like hes on aurto pilot.
    he touches things absent mindedly as he walks past it...regardless to wether it might be hot...pushes buttons even tho we have a split second ago told him not too...but it really isnt him being defiant.
    when he was 3 he went to a dance class and they told me in no uncertain terms not to take hjim back. because he was so busy!

    sorry rambling now :)
  • My son has ADHD and I have been claiming DLA for 7 years, it is not an easy job living with someone diagnosed with ADHD the whole family suffer. My son is now 16 however the money mostly goes towards breakages, he has punched his fist through ever bedroom door in the house through sheer frustration:eek:
    We recently recieved a visit from DHS as he can claim in his own right however he has no comprehension regarding money, would.nt know how to handle his own financial affairs etc.
    On the positive side he is now in 5th year and just sat his prelims. Hope this helps
    Waddle you do eh?
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 45,938
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    How would it help? Well, panicos says 'breakages' and I wouldn't disagree with that, but also, you could pay for some help around the house, to let you devote more time to him and his brother (rather than cleaning, IYSWIM). Or you could pay for some respite care - someone to care for him for an hour so that you could do something with his brother, or even vice versa.

    I think the way you present it is key - your MIL maybe thought of it as 'his' money, and that caused problems, but I'd see it as 'family' money which you've claimed because one of the family needs extra help in some areas.
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  • lolly1981 wrote: »

    it isnt that he is naughty but his brain is busy if that makes sense.

    and im not so concerned about if he does get it....my question is if they feel he is entitled to it...how do others use it and how does it make the job of taking care of an ADHD child easier :D

    The only way I can think of is if you get a respite carer to care for him while you have a break.
  • shazrobo
    shazrobo Posts: 3,313 Forumite
    i have twin boys aged 14 with severe adhd, oppositional defiant disorder, and conduct disorder. both lads get high rate care, and low rate mobility, the money is spent on things they need, eg, they go thru a lot of beds and bedroom furniture,
    or things to make life easier in caring for them, eg a qualified childminder, for a few hours respite occasionally, meals out once or twice a month, saves trying to cook when your so totally worn out, and the boys still need supervising, also a lot is spent on petrol for days out to keep them entertained etc
    enjoy life, we only get one chance at it:)
  • thansk for all your kind replies...i find it so difficult with the amopunt of people who say ADHD isnt real!

    my sons ADHD probably isnt as severe as others...but it still wears me out.

    ariane5 i know exactly what you mean about bedtimes...we have a playroom which should be locked but of course DS1 has forgotten where he hid the lock...we usually find asking him when hes asleep usually gives us the answer lol....but he had to take everything out of his room except his bed and wardrobe but he's drawn all over the walls his bed his bedding etc.
    he draws all over himself too! he now takes melatonin to help him drift off to sleep and thankfully it does work so at least i get the evenings to recover lol.

    another thing...im not sure if this is related to ADHD but i have read somewhere it could be....he eats non stop...all the time he is hungry he even sneaks out of his room to 'steal' food!

    i have noticed as well that thinks happens in spurts...it started of hitting people...then it was incessantly talkg....now its lieing..but they seem to start as quick as they stop.
    luckily he isnt violent....he doesnt seem to have much temper on him!

    and truthfully sometimes i feel like a fraud because i see other peoples children who are rude, answer back etc and hes always really polite i just think what makes him so hard is that its always constant :(
  • Hi

    My DS is 15 and we have been getting DLA mid care low mobility since he was 5. He has Aspergers and dispraxia..

    We have used the money for breakages i.e. h went though 4 beds in 5 years :eek:.

    It helps fund his obsesions, he has a large fish tank in his room, laptop etc. It has been used to fund family things like holidays which have helped him see more of the world and know how to behave in different situations. It has funded swimming lessons, horse riding and any other thing that has taken his fancy. all of these activities have benefited his immensely and helped to bring him out of his own little world.

    It has also meant that I get carers allowance so that I only work part time I'm always around at the beginning and end of a school day to help him get orginised. It helps to fund a second car, OH works long hours in another town so without a second car it would have been very diffiult for DS to get to any activities after school.

    But, i understand where your MIL is coming from. we have this award until he is 18 and I'm aware that the money needs to go directly to him once he is 16. I really don't know how I'm going to explain to him. He sees everything in black and white so I'm quite sure he will view it as me spending his money. Goodness knows what he would spend it on. He was out alone the other day and bought 2 pencils, 2 pens, a packet of buttons and a piece of felt. I asked him why? He has loads of pens and pencils and god only knows what the other stuff is for. He couldn't explain, says he got very stresssed and panicky and just felt compeled to buy some stuff Just as well he only had a couple of pound on him!

    It's a worry :eek: Oh, i I often feel like a fraud x
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