children, ADHD and DLA..do you receive it & what do you use it for?

Indie_Kid · 14 February 2010 at 10:56AM

karmacookie wrote: »

Hi
But, i understand where your MIL is coming from. we have this award until he is 18 and I'm aware that the money needs to go directly to him once he is 16. I really don't know how I'm going to explain to him.

I think you can get appointed to look after his money once he reaches 18 if he's not able to do so?

karmacookie · 14 February 2010 at 12:04PM

sh1305 wrote: »

I think you can get appointed to look after his money once he reaches 18 if he's not able to do so?

This is something I need to look into. I think DS would have to agree to it and one of the problems we have is that he doesn't have much insight to his problem. He found this autism quiz online

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism.htm

he was quite aghast to find he got 38 points :rotfl:

Most people with ASD will score over 32!

I forgot about the food thing, when DS was younger the kitchen needed to be locked up tight. Even now he stilll needs a bit supervision around food. I'm not sure if it's bordom or what but he can get through an amazing amount of stuff. sometimes I don't think he has any tastebuds everything just gets shovelled down!

lolly1981 · 15 February 2010 at 11:54AM

yeah the food is a real issue in our house....its just always...mum im hungry, mum can i have this, mum what can i eat now...unfortunaty we cant lock the kitchen as you have to go through the kitchen to get tho the bathroom lol.
but im not sure if that would fuel it tho wanting something more cos he cant have it

hes been like it ever since he was a baby...thankfully it isnt always junk food he wants..its yougurt, fruit, cheese, cucumber etc but if i let him eat all the time all that he wants he would eat a weeks shop in a day lol.

we had a fun weekend lol...we sorted out his play rrom..as he was sent to tidy it and we heard things dropping out the window! hes also drawn all over his arm and windowsill in bright red felt tip!

i think i might explain from the off abouyt the extra money (if he is entitled), he is very intelligent and when things are explained in complete detail he will understand...he likes to learn new things, hes like a sponge always asking questions. so hopefully if he understands that the money we get is to help look after him and do get to spend time as a family, he loves his 'us' time, he wants to go on all sorts of holidays....we're off to scotland in may hes super excited lol. he might not be so put out when hes older

angelheart-xx · 15 February 2010 at 7:33PM

i have an 11 year old daughter who has been diagnosed with adhd and dyslexia i get low rate mobility for her i try and give her things she needs and i couldnt afford otherwise and take her and brothers on holidays..

im just back from an appoitment with a nurse therapist who is looking into adhd for both my sons and within 5 mins of seeing them he says he is in no doubt they both have adhd but still a long way to go to diagnosis i believe.. im just thankful ill be getting an answer after all these years of waiting and wondering and ppl telling me no they havent got adhd when they werent qualified to even assess the kids

lolly1981 · 16 February 2010 at 12:38PM

im still in 2 minds about this...ive been reading other threads where other people are saying that the money being used by the parents is abuse!

i wouldnt go so far as to say that but i am wondering whether claiming it is for the best...me and OH have been talking about he...he feels that it will be taking things away from DS1 ...such as scouts (we are thinking of sending him) as we wouldnt be able to pay for it without the money....but i am really concerned that when he gets older it will be a problem...or the other option is to put it in the bank for him...only use it for repairing things hes broken..and any thing that comes up for his care i.e hospital visits....and the rest of iot to save....but then when he gets to 16 he will ahve that money to do what he wants with..and if his 'father' is anything to go by that might not be a good thing!

or lastly tell him that because his brain is 'busy' (hes only 5 thats how we explain it at the minute)...that we get some extra money to help look after him etc what would he want to do with it....but again explain that if he breaks things it will have to be paid for from that money!

i do think the money could help relieve some of the stress as he could have things to occupy his time (thats a big problem for him he always has to be doing something!) that might last till his a teen so will give him something to focus on etc but i feel like a fraud..as he doesnt have a 'major illness'...i dont want to be seen to be making money from ADHD...as im sure a lot of people on here know that some parents want their children to have the diagnosis because they can claim the money (im not saying people on here do it but that they have probably come across it)...thats why im glad his 'father' doesnt know about the diagnosis as he would be on my doorstep ina flash!

oh decisions decisions...:)

Indie_Kid · 16 February 2010 at 1:10PM

lolly1981 wrote: »

im still in 2 minds about this...ive been reading other threads where other people are saying that the money being used by the parents is abuse!

Doesn't that depend on how the parent uses it though? Because you could argue that using it for petrol (so you are technically using it) could be for his benefit.

lolly1981 · 16 February 2010 at 1:12PM

yeah...thats why i dont agree with that statement lol
but where does it go from being for there needs to using it as an excuse that youre spending the money for their needs...im just quoting what someone else had written with regards to it being used to fund the family piggy bank lol

angelheart-xx · 16 February 2010 at 1:44PM

end of the day ,you would be giving your child things that you would not normally afford and to me thats giving them a better chance in life ,i know some parents who abuse it they seem to go out every other weekend but myself i use it for my daughter and give her things like a second holiday she so wanted to go to blackpool last year (weekend away) ,which she said she would love to do as a family so thats what i did and made it as fun as possible and now she wants to go back to same place but for longer,i definatley could not afford to do that normally (holidays are usually only and hour away at a caravan park which we have been going to for going on 10 years),day trips in summer,going into town on girly days shopping,when she comes food shopping she ha an opinion on what i should buy lol...all appoitments transport i dont drive hosp,play therapy,nurse therapist every so often

i spend all my time and money on all of my kids rarley go out....

i dont see anything i am doing wrong maybe someone will but thats how i work it certianly dont look at it as family piggy bank though
xoxo

blue_monkey_2 · 16 February 2010 at 1:49PM

We use ours for:

Garden play equipment - also got a 'circuit' put into the garden so he could ride his bike around it. We cannot go out to the park like other people can as he just goes off so they have everything they need here, climbing frame, swings, trampoline, climbing ropes, etc... In the summer it bought a huge inflatable water slide and paddling pool.

Replacing clothes that he eats holes in (one top a day at least - not cheap)

Food. He ate my 2 large boxes of Thorntons Chocolates and Milk Tray this week and I had no idea, they were ALL gone in the space of 2 days - I was bought them as a gift. I was gutted.

Replacing the stuff he has broken in a tantrum. Our new TV is on the wall so he cannot knocl it over and that already has a scrath on the screen.

Paid for a carer to come on holiday with us as hubby was at home replacing the bathroom and we could not be in the house. It also paid for us to have an upgrade into 1st class on the train so he could have more room to move around.

Currently paying for 1:1 swimming lessons as he is petrified of the water.

You know - what have no life, we cannot do the things normal people take for granted, I always have to have a carer for him so if it gives us extra money to have a holiday then so be it. We have no family to help us out either.

If he rips a hole in my clothes and they need replacing then yes, I will use 'his' DLA money.

The money is actually the families money as far as I am concerned as we are all suffering because of his disbilities. Last week he cut the feet of his sisters Gabriella doll. That will need replacing too.

if I was going out and p*ssing it up the wall then yes I'd agree this is not what it is for, but it is there to make life better for all the family IMO. Also, we have paid out at least 3 times more than we get DLA (over 2 years) on stuff for him so it is irrelevant tbh. Just how much have you spent to date, before getting it, more than what you would have spent on another child without his condition?

Oh, and because he has ADHD/Autism our travel Insurance - quoted at £8 online without him having it - actually cost us a whopping £28 for a 3 day trip!!!!!

lolly1981 · 16 February 2010 at 1:56PM

blimey...i never thought that ADHD could effect travel insurance.
he doesnt have autism or aspergers just the ADHD as far as we're aware..the doc hasnt said anything either!

hes forever pulling things apart...he needs things to do with is hands!.

last year we took him to pontins, he wanst too bad but i spent the whole time worrying he would run off...talk to people...climb up things get hurt....worried people thought he was just naughty, which is petty i guess but it still bothers me.

we are off to scotland in may we had toyed with the idea of a holiday abroad...but need eyes in the back of my head...worried he'd leave the hotel room in the night etc.

i guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens and if he is awarded it then we go from there!

children, ADHD and DLA..do you receive it & what do you use it for?

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