The MSE Forum will be undergoing some maintenance this evening. As a result, some users may experience temporary performance issues. Please use the Site Feedback board to report anything major. Thank you for your patience.

Lending money to friends & family

1679111292

Comments

  • netlang
    netlang Posts: 115
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    Forumite
    Never again

    I lent one so called friend £200 and another so called friend who was in deep trouble £800 needless to say neither of them paid me a penny back and I have not seen or heard from either of them since.

    When anyone asks me now it is definately NO.
  • Smiley_Mum
    Smiley_Mum Posts: 3,836
    I've been Money Tipped!
    Forumite
    Just say NO and if they don't understand, say NO again. If they still don't get it then...

    I've lent money to people in the past and never seen it back either. Makes you wonder, if you added up all the cash that friends lent people (they aren't friends if they don't pay it back, are they) then how much would it amount to? Worth a thought.

    As the old saying goes, never a lender or a borrower be. Then again, 0% cards are ok so long as you watch what you are doing. ;)
    “Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” - Oscar Wilde
  • calleyw
    calleyw Posts: 9,822
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    Forumite
    If you lend it you expect it back. But if you give it as a gift and they pay it back that is a bonus.

    I would say never. I got stung by my best friend and her boyfriend of the time.

    I had £800 (1995) overdraft so me and her could buy a house together. Bad move.

    I am still waiting for £500 that I will never see.

    And don't even get me started on paying bills etc.

    But I did pay the overdraft off.

    Good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say. Never had anything and they never will and will always be wasters. But like the murphys "I am not bitter" :snow_laug


    Yours

    Calley
    Hope for everything and expect nothing!!!

    Good enough is almost always good enough -Prof Barry Schwartz

    If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try -Seth Godin
  • not sure if this is right board..

    member of our family "lent" couple of £thousand to a "friend" to fund something....
    which didn't happen .. and guy has made himself completely uncontactable . Apparantely he's done similar with couple of other people

    Whilst probably classed as my own stupid fault for just handing over cash .. last thing we expected was this .. from a supposedly "best friend" .
    What legal actions can i take .. or "legal threats" can i make to try and get him to realise i'm seriously wanting my money back.

    no. lol. :p
  • tomstickland
    tomstickland Posts: 19,538
    First Post Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I lent £800 to a friend of mine. At the time I was clearing my own debts, but the source of this money was a gift from my grandfather, so I'd thought I'd help a friend ion need. He did pay me back, but every month I had to ask for that month's money and that annoyed me. I had to do all the work.
    Happy chappy
  • I'm sorry, I didn't read the beginning of this thread and hope its applicable to what i'm going to write now.

    I lent my sister and her husband a large amount of money at a very low monthly repayment because she purported to be in alot of problems financially...thought she was going to lose her house etc.

    No problems with them repaying it but immediately they got the money they booked numerous holidays, bought 2 cars, had garden landscaped, etc etc. I was mortified but at the same time it was my Sister and I don't think I wanted to disbelieve her.

    After a couple of years the spending was getting ridiculous and I thought that if they were okay now she could get a normal loan and pay all my money back. This was partly a safety measure becuase I was worried that if she was getting into more debt and ended up bankrupt, then I would never get the money back and my daughters would need it eventually.

    Well, guess what my family are like. My Father advised her to tell me that I'd have to take her to Court to get the money back . Thats family loyalty for you.

    I not only have lost a sister but my parents too. How can I ever believe that they have my best interests at heart.
  • citygal
    citygal Posts: 67 Forumite
    I'd never do it- when money gets in the way of friendship, the whole picture changes
    Debt /Overdraft/Everything Free December 2007 :j
  • i must be honest here...ive had experience from both sides of the fence.

    a few years ago, my then then girlfriend's parents offered to lend me a small amount of money as i was short one month and was expecting some overtime. However, between the time i borrowed the cash and was due to repay it, the girlfriend went off to spain and ran off with a waiter and i was moved quite far away by my employer. Because i was so busy doing a new install at work, i literally forgot to repay the money...something i feel terrible about to this day. I received a respectfully worded letter from the parents asking me for it, and i repaid it immediately that day, and calculated how much interest it would cost to leave that money outstanding, and added that on to what i paid. I felt awful, like i had abused somones good nature, and they were lovely people. I took them for a meal by way of apology after that. Guess what i am trying to say is that it is quite possible that someone forgets to pay, and maybe first course of action is a kindly worded letter. Of course my intentions were not nasty, but if you dont get a response after that then instigate further action, but you might find that the person genuinely has lost touch/forgotten or is having genuine difficulties and has just felt ashamed to call you...contacting them/making it clear that a reasonable repayment agreement fully signed/witnessed may be agreeable and you may just be repaid.

    However I am owed about £680 by an ex for me bailing her out of mobile phone/landline/rent arrears and she has not paid anything yet. Lent her the money in 2002...dont think ill be seeing money or her again...
    Strange thing is she gave me the speil about being in financial trouble when i lent the money, but she always seemed to find the money to go to nightclubs 3 times a week...
    Debt Free Since September 2005!
    :j
  • This is an interesting thread and I stumbled on it by accident. We are in a similar position to many of the posters, we lent an apparant best friend 6 years back some money to set up a business, another friend of ours also lent him an equivalent sum.

    We took out a bank loan to lend him the money as he had ccj's against him and had been refused, we and the other friend were his last hope. (I say We, this was what my husband did and I didnt know about it, but seeing as we are married it is a We now !!) Anyways good friend didnt pay anything back for about 18 months, then I fell pg with son and gave up work and took over finances and found the loan !! few arguements later with my husband I started phoning, emailing, texting friend for repayment. This took a few months and during this time we paid the bank loan off by remortgaging our home. We have probably over the last 6 years had about 1/4 of the original loan, but I am slapping major interest on the debt !! Payments are very few and far between, maybe £200 a month, then nothing for a couple of months, even though the agreed payment was £350 a month !

    12 months ago I have severed all ties with them, I was sick of being portrayed as the bad party in all this, as ofcourse my attitiude towards them was getting worse and worse, and I lost all respect in him and his wife. They continue to have fantastic holdays and live it up largely !! Thier daughter has now even started at private school. my husband wont take it any further and does remain on friendlyish terms with them, as he says if he severes all ties, we lose any chance of getting anything back, the other friend who lent him money has had 1 payment of £200 !! They are ofcourse in far worse a situation than us, so I cant realy complain can I ? ? It turns out since the initial loan was made a few other people have come forward and said he owes them a grand or two, yet the wife loves her singles annual ski-ing holiday !!!! We see the money now as an extra bonus when it arrives, sometime we know we will get nothing, then when it does arrive we peel ourselves up off the floor and pop it into savings.

    I guess the moral of the story is dont mix business with pleasure, or dont lend money to friends. Before this we were 4 good mates who enjoyed each others company, now I want nothing to do with them !!
  • Hi, Does anyone have a UK "Loan Agreement" template please?

    I want to lend my friend some money and we agreed to pop it on an agreement.

    I see Lawpack do a CD of 301 templates, but as I only want one, I was hoping someone here might have one to email to me.

    Thanks in advance!
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 342.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.9K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.4K Spending & Discounts
  • 234.6K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.8K Life & Family
  • 247.4K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards