Divorce - latest guidelines on equity split?

Bossyboots · 27 May 2005 at 5:54PM

tobit wrote:

Solicitors learn every trick in the book - that's their profession. Don't trust any of them one tiny inch.

If you do your homework, can keep your head, and are as intelligent as you sound - then conduct your divorce yourself, as much as you can. Keep on good terms with your husband - I did, until solicitors got involved. The first thing the two of you must decide is how to divide your assets. That is the major problem. Be fair with each other. Otherwise, your solicitor will sort it out - by taking most of your assets from you both!!

QUOTE]

That is a sweeping generalisation and unjustified. Just because your solicitor acted in that way, and we only have your word for it that the fees were too high, does not mean they all do. If you believed your fees were too high you should have taken notice of the information on the back of your bills and invoked your right to have them assessed by the Law Society.

Fees can only be incurred when action has been taken on a matter and the level of charges should have been pointed out to you at the beginning. If not, you have grounds to make a complaint.

If your solicitor had blithely let your hubby take 95% of the assets to keep your costs down, you would be complaining about that. Too many women are ripped of by their own husbands (and in some cases the other way around) and are only rescued by caring solicitors. My friend is a prime example. She would have been left homeless and penniless had a solicitor friend not stepped in and ensured she received her share of the equity from the matrimonial home.

There are solicitors out there who cannot do the job and charge for stupid things I would agree but there are remedies. If you dispute the level of their fees as I have said, there are options open to you. Until people invoke their right to have costs assessed, those who are not playing fair will continue to do so. Do not frighten other people off getting proper legal advice just because of your situation on which we have only had your subjective viewpoint. What is good advice is to do as much as you can. If things need copying, do it yourself. If information needs to be gathered, do it yourself. If you are worried about fees ask your solicitor what you can do for yourself to keep them down. If you are brushed off with a "no, no, that is what you are paying me for", then change your solicitor.

If you are instructing your solicitor with the benefit of legal aid then the Court and/or the Legal Services Commission will assess the bill in any event and decide if it is reasonable.

Scout · 27 May 2005 at 11:23PM

I have to say that after taking the first steps ie legal advice, getting house valued etc, I managed to get husband to talk - for the first time in years. I don't think he thought I would take it this far and I don't think he ever thought what was occurring in my life - ie nothing.

We have managed to pull things back from 'the brink'. I can again see the man I married and hopefully he can see me as I was a few years ago. Thank you all for your replies, because at least if it ever gets to this stage again, I will be prepared. With luck, we can start again, at least for our children. It will take work, but we have begun the 'healing' process.

Debt_Free_Chick · 27 May 2005 at 11:33PM

Scout

What a lovely post. I had some rotten news today*, but your post has cheered me up no end.

I really hope that things work out. It's true what they say ..... communication is the key. Keep talking ... it can be tiring, but it really does help to heal. After all, you can't fix the things that you don't know are "wrong".

* I heard of a business associate, whom I admired immensely, who died suddenly, aged only 47 about 6 weeks ago. I hadn't heard. Am devastated

foreverskint · 27 May 2005 at 11:49PM

so sorry to hear of your bad news dfc.weel done scout. I am a divorced (amicably) woman, and we did split completely 50/50.
I am now in a relationship of 5 years and if there's one thing we know is that talking about everything really is the key to keeping everyting o.k.
good luck and I really hope it all works out for you both.Whilst I never would advocate parents staying together for the sake of the kids if you can manage it, it's got to be for the best.

tobit · 27 May 2005 at 11:55PM

Hi Scout! I'm so pleased to hear that you and your husband are talking again - and making up. Time is the most precious thing any person can give to another. Hope you all have a lovely, sunny, holiday weekend together. Best of luck:-)

crutches · 28 May 2005 at 12:15AM

great news scout.good luck to you all.

margaretclare · 28 May 2005 at 9:29AM

Hi Scout

Congratulations! Isn't it amazing how it happens sometimes, that you have to go 'right to the brink' before both of you can 'see' each other again.

This happened with a good friend of mine. After 35 years of marriage she went 'right to the brink'. And as you say, husband didn't think she would go that far. Not until they'd sold their house and she'd bought another from the settlement, he was buying a flat on a mortgage but keeping his pension scheme - not until the furniture vans rolled up did the penny actually drop with him!!! In fact, they went as far as the decree nisi stage. She was sharing her new little house with an older man who seemed very nice, but turned out to be a complete control freak when alone with her. She's now back with husband, divorce never became absolute, they've sold her nice little house, the other bloke is back living in sheltered accommodation, they're selling the flat and buying a bungalow. And now they're able to communicate, after all those years of him taking her for granted! He wasn't a bad man, just went to work, brought money home and thought that was it, left everything else to her including helping his elderly parents (who are in-laws from hell). It's amazing how things have changed for her - they had a nice holiday recently, the first they've ever had!!!

I was talking to B yesterday about how/why we seem so happy and contented. He said 'It's because we can communicate with each other, we have clean water, food to eat and a roof over our head'. I asked about his 2 previous exes. He said there are 2 things he cannot stand, never has been able to stand - hypocrisy and lying.

Best wishes to you, Scout!

Aunty Margaret

thetheboy · 20 June 2005 at 8:48PM

hope this helps - there are now quite a few online divorce services that can do all the paperwork and everything for you click here for divorce online.

AuntyJean · 1 July 2005 at 8:01AM

thetheboy wrote:

hope this helps - there are now quite a few online divorce services that can do all the paperwork and everything for you click here for divorce online.

Having taken the free 1/2 hour advice from a solicitor I am resigned to the fact that my husband, who hardly contributed a penny to our home or any other costs, is entitled to half of everything. My parents died and we inherited the house my father had bought for me which I agreed to be put into joint names. I spent the rest of my inheritance doing up the house (new kitchen, central heating etc.) bought a nice car and paid for a two week trip to Egypt (our first time abroad).

I left him shortly after, leaving with only a suitcase and left him in the house and with the car. I even transferred money into his account for a year to help him out.

He now wants to sell the house and get a divorce. I will agree to 50/50 if he will (as I believe he will) and we are to meet on Monday to discuss).

He says he cannot afford the divorce (his new girlfriend is an accountant! so rather than pay out more money I was hoping to do the divorce myself.

Rather than use the Divorceonline is there anywhere else I can obtain the papers and instructions? I managed to sort mums probate out with my sister and I being the sole inheritants, at a total cost of only £550 as opposed to the £2,000 charged to mum a year earlier when dad died (1984 and 1985). So divorce should be fairly easy but I want to be made aware of any pitfalls.

Has anyone managed a DIY divorce themselves? Any advice please?

Bossyboots · 1 July 2005 at 3:56PM

You can get all the paperwork you need from the Court Service website. You can also download the information leaflets to help you fill them in.

I am surprised you have been told it should be a 50/50 split. You have clearly put more into the property than your hubby and that should be reflected in a settlement. Of course, you may have given the solicitor details that changes that but it doesn't seem right on the face of it to just divide it in half. I think you should seek a second opinion.

Divorce - latest guidelines on equity split?

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