Can someone be excluded from a Funeral?

I wonder if anyone can help with a rather sensitive question?

A friend has been asked not to attend a funeral .... do they have a legal right to attend? or can someone ask them not to? (legally) .... we've looked extensivly on the internet but can not find the answer.

Many thanks for anyones thoughts?
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  • tanith
    tanith Posts: 8,091
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    I really don't know if there is any legality involved with this question but rather than cause a scene I would be inclined to either say my goodbyes at the chapel of rest or if it is a burial just wait till the funeral is over and attend the graveside when everyone else has left....
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  • I think legally they can't be excluded. However, it may perhaps be more sensitive to say their goodbyes elsewhere. It is only the remains at the funeral after all, you can say goodbye to the person anywhere at any time.

    Is it possible for you to tell us the circumstnces of the 'ban'?
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  • ailuro2
    ailuro2 Posts: 7,535
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    I have to agree. If it is the person's family who are asking the person not to attend,if they have any sense of decorum and respect for the person's family, they will say their goodbyes after the service is over.

    Legally I don't honestly know, but I think it would cause trouble to go against someone's wishes at a funeral.
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  • I was in this situation when my first husband died, his family wanted me banned from the funeral. I ws told that noone could be stopped from attending any church service but as the burial was at a council cemetary I could be barred from that. I got round the problem by creeping in at the back of the church, slipping out at the end and going to his grave later in the day when they had all left.
    To be honest all the creeping around made it very hard to actually say goodbye, looking back on it I wish I had gone to a different church (one without a service on) and said a few prayers there and said goodbye at the grave after everyone had left.
  • Along with everyone else I think the wishes of the family should be respected but as the person in an earlier post said you cannot ban anyone from a church service. You could attend anyone's wedding as well without an invitation ( not the reception but the service).
  • hjb123
    hjb123 Posts: 32,002 Forumite
    As others have said the families wished shoudl be respected, however it would probably help if you said what the nature of the ban is - is the person to be banned a relative to the deceased or how do they know them and how do the people that have said not to go know the deceased?
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  • star1_2
    star1_2 Posts: 424 Forumite
    Thanks for everyones replies ....

    My friend is an ex-partner of the guy who died. She was with him for 5 years, and he kept in regular contact with her upto the day of his death. His partner at the time of his death (who had been with him for less than 2 years) as "banned" my friend from attending. The whole matter is down to jellously (of the recient partner towards my friend) for the friendship that continued with her deceased partner.

    As others have suggested - I have advised her to quietly walk into the back of the chappel and say her own quiet "good-byes" and leave before the others know she is there.

    Thanks again !
  • It depends if it's a public or private funeral also
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  • You can't ban someone from a funeral. I think she should go to the funeral.

    TBH I think the current partner is being stupidly selfish in even suggesting that previous partner cannot go to funeral. If I was "Banned" then I'd attend as a matter of principle. The service is about the deceased, not the squabbling parties attending.
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  • It depends if it's a public or private funeral also

    Anyone can attend the church service.
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