What to do when a partner/spouse dies.

From experience (my mum a single parent died suddenly from cancer last year) the MOST important thing to know immediately before any paperwork IS WHAT THEY WANTED. I was being asked did she want a burial or cremation, did she say where she wanted it etc etc and I didn't know as we hadn't gotten round to discussing it. (She had been given at least 6 months but it ended up being only 2, so the plan to discuss it nearer the time never happened). Don't just put it in your Will and consider it done as the Will may not be found in time.

Paperwork;
It's a nightmare trying to track everything down. If you can keep all financial paperwork in 1 place so it can be found it makes life a lot easier. We spent weeks chasing it all down...

Since then I have created a spreadsheet with all my money details including bank accounts, savings, shares, pensions and any life insurance or accidental death cover you might have, contact telephone numbers, reference numbers and addresses.

It is important to make sure your Executors know they have been nominated and you advise them where your will is. It took us days to find the will, luckily I was right on who I thought the Executors were. Since her death I have made my own Will as it has made me realise how important they are. I also ensure an Executor knows where I keep it.

Finally, if it's a sudden death (as in our case) there will need to be an autopsy and this will delay the death certificate for several days which can make things difficult with banks and freezing accounts etc.

Hope this helps

Another thing I have come across is when you do register a death, there is (or was in my case, for John and my dad), a form to send off to stop unsolicited mail. This came with a pack which contained the certificate, along with a DSS booklet stating what to do when a death occurs in England or Wales. I must say that the form I sent off for my dad DID stop MOST mail to him, for this I was grateful. I haven't sent of John's yet, but will do asap.

I must also reiterate what UKJubilee says too. When my Mum died 7 years ago, my father, brother and I organised a cremation as we didn't know there was a will. The bank phoned us 3 weeks later with a will, at the top it said 'I wish my body to be buried'.

So please, please tell someone of your wishes, you only get the one chance.

Stormy

A family member died just before Christmas this year, he had not got around to making a will. He and his partner were not married. His partner is not allowed to apply to deal with his estate. There is a list of people who can here -



- http://www.clsdirect.org.uk/legalhelp/leaflet10.jsp?section=8&lang=en

This is very stressful for the partner, as she is not able to sort out the finances, etc.

I don't really want to go into too much personal detail on here, but i vowed that as part of my New Year resolution i would advise as many people as possible to make a will, and possibly avoid anyone the pain and complications currently being suffered.

I have verbally spoken with lots of people i know (especially those who live together and are not married) and now hope i can also nudge people via this thread to make a will.

I would also advise they you speak amongst your nearest and dearest regarding your final wishes, maybe write them down. Do you want a burial or cremation? Do you want anything else specific? A hymn/song, Flowers or a donation to a charity? Do you want a specific type of service? All these things will make it easier for those left behind, nothing is worse than trying to guess these things and the uncertainty of whether you have done the right thing or not.

Shaz