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Advice on an ex that wont sign the divorce papers please

Hi, to cut a long story short my g/f has been left her ex husband for 2 years this month. He is refusing to sign the papers as he doesnt agree to the terms on there :rolleyes:
He knows that we are due a baby in april and has started trying to cause trouble in the house and said recently to the kids not to let me touch them and not to do as I said. Luckily for me I have a great relationship with her 2 kids who are 3 and 5 and they knew what he said was wrong which is why they told their Mum. I rang him to ask him what his problem is and thought we'd sorted things out in a grown up reasonable fashion and he would sign the papers we all move on etc. Tonight he has said he wont sign the papers again and ont ever as he just doesnt want to :mad: Apparently I want him to "bang me out, outside of CO-OP" as he lives above a local co-op on his own here in Nottingham. We just want to move on with our life and he was starting to be ok till he found out she was pregnant and now it seems he is just trying to stress my g/f out as he would love for something bad to happen to the baby.
Anyway after that short version of events what can we do now? Solicitor has suggested sending baliffs in which will cost aroun £100 but we dont know if they can force him o sign the papers. We just want to move on with our lives he has access to his kids every friday night when he chooses to have them :rolleyes: and she has threatened not to let him see them untill he has signed but I cant see this is gonna be productive to the situation.
Any advice please people???? :(
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Comments

  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    Bailiffs to make him sign papers? That does not sound right.
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  • Bailiffs to make him sign papers? That does not sound right.
    Well she is gonna get a photo of him on monday and put her private detective on to him as he is claiming housing benefit while working on the side. She does not know this as we are not grasses so to speak so I am not sure why she wants to know his movements but she said the baliffs can serve the papers in person and have him sign them there and then. I am not sure about this to as I have never heard about it which is why I am looking for advice on any other way around it other then going round with mates and forcing it to be done and bringing the papers home :cool: :cool:
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230
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    Let the solicitor deal with it, that's what they are paid to do,
    If you go round with your mates and threaten him, you can be nicked.
    Also, as you will soon be a dad, it's best to understand that children are not bargaining chips to be used by a parent whenever they want to get their own way. Children should be valued, loved and protected not treated as property.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • zzzLazyDaisy
    zzzLazyDaisy Posts: 12,497
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    edited 14 November 2009 at 9:31PM
    I think you will find that it is the Acknowledgment of Service that he is refusing to sign and return.

    If a Process Server (sometimes referred to as a bailiff) serves the papers on him personally, that person can then swear an Affidavit of Service which is proof that your gf's ex has received the papers, and then her solicitor can proceed with the divorce, without the need for him to sign the Acknowledgment of Service.

    Note: I'm not a divorce lawyer, but that is my understanding.

    EDIT: sorry I meant to say - it is good advice to take a step back and let the solicitor deal with this, that's what she is being paid for.
    I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.
  • libbyc3
    libbyc3 Posts: 257 Forumite
    I had this situation with my ex, he refused to sign divorce paper. My solicitor sent the baliffs round to serve the papers on him - that way it does need his signature they just need to personally give him the papers. My ex got his served on him in bed - his girlfriend had let them into the house not knowing exactly what was going on!!!! he wasn't very happy.
    If he is going to be awkward he will be awkard whether of not your gf lets him see the kids so using them doesn't end up serving any actual purpose tho.
  • Thanks a lot, she was just angry in the heat of the moment although she knows they would be better off without the nob she would never stop them seeing their Dad and although it pains me when he behaves like this I also agree they have a right to be a family to.
    So what happens if the courts see the papers are served but not signed does it mean a divorce without him stopping it so to speak?
    And also I wouldnt really go round there with my mates it was just a joke, I know he is desperate for me to do it and it would be playing into his hands. If he lays a finger on me he goes to prison and he knows this which is why he tries to wind me up into hitting him and his found paranoia of me trying to get him to hit me has come from, He smokes a lot of weed so his brain doesnt function normally :rolleyes:
    Thanks for replies we are very happy tonight :beer:
  • Errata
    Errata Posts: 38,230
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    Is she divorcing him on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour ? If so, then then if the papers have been served on him, I think the court will expect him to defend the action.
    .................:)....I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on ...:)
  • No it wasnt, he has no solicitor though he just comes round shouting off why he wont sign. It has been 2 years now and there is nothing he could do to get her back. The only reason he is being ike this is he was a control freak and knows he still has a certain amount of control over my g/f as she has his name and without this last thing he has nothing :rolleyes: wouldnt believe he is 42 years old he acts like a teenager most of the time.
    Oh think the grounds were conflict of interest or something like that.
  • I always thought that if there was one side who didn't want the divorce to proceed then the couple had to be separated for5 years before the side wanting the divorce could proceed without any agreement from the other side.
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  • kittiej
    kittiej Posts: 2,564
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    I think you will find Lazy daisy has given you the correct info.

    If exH doesn't have a solicitor then that's his lookout.
    Karma - the consequences of ones acts."It's OK to falter otherwise how will you know what success feels like?"1 debt v 100 days £2000
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