Real Life MMD: Should my husband move away for a better job?

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  • clearmydebts
    clearmydebts Posts: 6,485
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    Have I missed the bit where you explained what you husband's relatives think about the two children being brought up in Ireland?

    Funny thing I was discussing babies with my daughter and son in law yesterday and she remarked. "Had I noticed the number of families where there is a five year gap between baby one and baby two because the parents can only afford one lot of child care payments ?"

    Perhaps that is a symptom of the stresses of living in SE England?

    Not as stressful as living in China yet.

    Hiya John,

    My husband is Irish so his parents are thrilled that the children will be brought up there. They are very supportive of our decision, although naturally they can't wait for the day that OH has a job in Ireland.
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
    DFD:Nov 22/June 22
    Mortgage: €199,712
    MFD: March 2042/July 2034
  • laminki
    laminki Posts: 140 Forumite
    Think of it as a 1 year sentence:

    He goes to Germany for a year, works for 60 per hour and still flies back with Ryanair every weekend or every other weekend.

    You would stick by him if he went to jail for a year, so why not stick by him if he goes to germany for a year.

    Then after a year you can be debt free, have a few savings and go back to being together.

    I'm in Germany now and it's great!
  • clearmydebts
    clearmydebts Posts: 6,485
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    Dinah93 wrote: »
    If anything I've noticed it the other way - either mums want to get them all close together to get back to work full time sooner, or they've been made redundant and figuer they might as well do the family thing now while they wait for their sector to pick up. I guess it just depends on everyones situation. At the end of the day if having a baby was going to decimate them financially they wouldn't be asking the question and would have to be doing the thing that would give the most money. As it is the OP has the ability to choose the balance they think will work best for them between money and family life and the best of luck to them.

    Thanks Dinah. Yes, I think with this decision the debt can get paid off in about 18 months to 2 years (with no major hardships) and we are happy with this timeframe.
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
    DFD:Nov 22/June 22
    Mortgage: €199,712
    MFD: March 2042/July 2034
  • clearmydebts
    clearmydebts Posts: 6,485
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post I've been Money Tipped!
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    laminki wrote: »
    Think of it as a 1 year sentence:

    He goes to Germany for a year, works for 60 per hour and still flies back with Ryanair every weekend or every other weekend.

    You would stick by him if he went to jail for a year, so why not stick by him if he goes to germany for a year.

    Then after a year you can be debt free, have a few savings and go back to being together.

    I'm in Germany now and it's great!

    Lol - that post made me laugh! And your right, if he was in jail I would stick by him!
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
    DFD:Nov 22/June 22
    Mortgage: €199,712
    MFD: March 2042/July 2034
  • Dinah93
    Dinah93 Posts: 11,463
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    edited 18 August 2011 at 11:27AM
    Now I feel bad as I might not stick by NIM if he went to jail - it would depend what he did really but I wouldn't want to be married to someone dangerous! White collar he's good to stay though.
    Debt January 1st 2018 £96,999.81
    Debt September 20th 2022 £2991.68- 96.92% paid off
    Met NIM 23/06/2008
  • clearmydebts
    clearmydebts Posts: 6,485
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    Forumite
    Dinah93 wrote: »
    Now I feel bad as I might not stick by NIM if he went to jail - it would depend what he did really but I wouldn't want to be married to someone dangerous!

    I don't think either of us need to worry about jail Dinah :)

    They are good honest west of Ireland boys. lol!!!
    Total (Aug 19):€58,567 Now:€26,947
    DFD:Nov 22/June 22
    Mortgage: €199,712
    MFD: March 2042/July 2034
  • I think it depends on how long the contract is for. If he's only going to be away for a few months and earns enough to clear most/all of the debt then it sounds like a good idea. At the end of the day, he can always come back and find a job here if you realise that you can't be apart from each other that long.

    Give it a go, you never know!

    Good luck whatever you both decide
  • aylin_2
    aylin_2 Posts: 18 Forumite
    If you make a family unit , you are a team, you leave childhood behind..why dont you go to Germany together?....make the best of things and work together to make a successful life...Visit Ireland every couple of months to stem the pangs....It will give the children a new outlook and expand their horizons.....try to see the positives in this.New start.....jobs are hard to come by. Good luck.
  • Stop being so negative,when you say it could "break the family apart".Most high end earners dont see their families untill the weekend.Turn on the tele and take note of whats being said,most of the western world is in a bit of a slump and it's going to be that way for some time.Then your husband tells you he's been offered a job in excess of 10k per month,by xmas your 14.5k debt will be history.This job offer is a lifeline for better times ahead,taking it will be one of the best decisions you have ever made.Or of course stay as you are and struggle for the next 5,10,15 years.
    Good luck.
  • marich
    marich Posts: 125 Forumite
    £60 for an hour's work is nigh on incredible... If he's prepared to put in the hours while he's away from you , then one month's pay will be enough to repay the mill-stone of your debt . Imagine how long it would take you to clear yourselves of it as at present...

    Let him go to Germany , you move to your family in Ireland and stay with them for support while you get your own place sorted out . In six months you will have considerable savings and be able to give your baby a great start and have financial security for yourselves .

    Sometimes you have to do it - don't hang on to him . It's rarely a chance like this comes along .
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