feel like such a failure

[jojo1969]

i am so fed up with myself,trying to loose weight but dont know which way to go about it.my willpower is zilch try one diet one week and another the next. i have tried every single diet going.i go away in 4 months and im desperate to get about 2 stones off.i dont do any excercise at all feeling really down and just dont know where to start.
any suggestions how to get myself motivated?not sure if to join a diet club as i dont want to waste my money again.please help me any body been the same way ? at this moment i feel like cancellling the holiday im driving my hubby and kids mad as im always in a bad mood
please help me shift some weight

[Magpye]

Don't diet. Diets don't work, because you're not really changing the way you think and feel about food. Anything like a diet is just a temporary fix.

You need to make a conscious effort that you are changing your eating habits to be healthy. That you are exercising to be healthy. It's too easy to get discouraged when you don't see the immediate results of a diet - I've been there before. I do find that if I concentrate on thinking that I am trying to improve my health, I focus less on the weight loss and am then pleasantly surprised each week at weigh in.

I started drinking green tea in the mornings (I've since switched to white tea since it has better levels of antioxidant and tastes a bit nicer) and doing an hour's worth of yoga. I found that it encouraged me to be a bit more active through the day, so I did more walking etc - and I felt healthier, so then I ate healthier.

My last tip is don't beat yourself up over little lapses, because that can lead to just giving up entirely. See it as a blip on the radar, not a big deal, 'cos if you decide it's a big deal then it will become one!

I suppose I'm sort of advocating positive thinking here? lol. Not like me at all! :D

[jeannieblue]

Oh love you ..

I agree with previous poster - don't diet, just buy different food - go healthy. And change the food for the whole family - you'll be making them healthy too. Think of doing it for them and that will take the focus off of you and you all will gain.

Stop being so hard on yourself. Who's perfect?? No one. (Although there are people who think they are :D )

Don't go on the scales - I don't have any - I go by the waistband and fit of my clothes.

Nothing wrong on nibbling in between meals if it is on the right stuff - I actually like rice cakes and sunflower seeds - pumpkin seeds are my favourite, add a few raisins in with them and chew alot!

They say that if you chew each mouthful about 20 times it sends the right messages of 'fullness' to your brain. If you don't chew enough, it doesn't register quickly enough that you are full. Also a glass of water before a meal helps too.

Change your food and don't diet :D

Hope that is helpful to you...

[jojo1969]

thankyou,thats a good idea about chewing food i must admit i do stuff food in.my sister is going to start going for long walks with me hoping some excercise will make me feel better:j

[jeannieblue]

Walking is good - go somewhere private ish and do fast silly walking and have some fun!! I believe that exercise releases the endorphins or something, in the brain and lifts your mood. I could be wrong, I'm no expert! But have some fun - and be kind to yourself or I'll send round the heavy mob :D

And bore the family with some healthy food! My son is always nicking the carrots that I've peeled for dinner! Now I just stick a bowl of them to one side for him!

Try doing the supermarket shop on your own - that will stop others putting stuff in you'd rather not have! And you'll have more time to mooch around the cosmetics and clothes sections - just looking of course. ;)

Keep in touch and let us know how you fair. And if you need any support - YELL :rotfl:

[kymrob]

hi i know exactly how you feel!!
i was 10 stone over weight tried everything!
then one day i woke up and something just clicked in my head it was very bizarra. i lost 8 stone in 8 months just buy cutting down and moving more. this was 5 years ago i keep the weight off for about 9 months to a year and what with parent problems and moving house it has all gone back on!
once again wearing clothes just to cover up as long as it fitted i don't care!
then 9 weeks ago same thing happened i woke up something clicked in my head and i knew i could do it and i have have now lost 3 stone and 2lbs!!
you have to be positive and eat less move more and believe you are worth it and that you are as good as everyone else! there are so many positives!
i use to eat just because there was some room for something else and always ran on full which made me feel crap! now i run on empty to half full and i feel so much better so much more get up and go! i am going swimming for the 1st time in 5 years this week!
i have about another 5 stone to lose and i am only 33 years old i have to prove now i can keep it off!!
u are not a failure and your will power will come i have never joined a club i have a little book i write down my weight loss every saturday morning i have the weekend off and eat what i want in reason!
i am sure your husband and kids love you no matter what! walking, skipping and put some great music on and dance like mad remember each song is about 3 mins long so time goes before you know it get the kids to join in make it fun! when you see the 1st 1/2 stone come of it will feel great and then you will be so looking forward to the 1/2!
please don't give up u just have to find what works for you!!!!
sorry i have gone on abit!!

[Sarahjovi]

I managed to loose some weight last year, I got into the right frame of mind, and found things to munch, which werent fattening, but enjoyable, fruit and flavoured rice crackers etc,. For lunch I eat Ryvitas with a low fat cream cheese and some Onion Relish. I began to cut out White things too! i.e White Bread, Potato's, pasta, rice etc, and subsitute with vegetables.

I made a point of looking at the amount of calories in each item in the supermarket and putting back anything I considered too high. I lost about 10 lbs and it was enough to make me feel better about myself. Sadly I put the weight back on again, but am making the effort now to loose some again, in time for my summer hols.

Remember if you don't buy it, you can't eat it!

Diets are hard, but making a challenge of finding things non fattening to eat is enjoyable.

Sarah

[whatatwit]

Hi JOJO, have you been on the Old Style board?

There is a thread on there all about losing weight by eating healthily and cutting back on the portions.
There are lots of recipes that aren't obvious 'diet' food and they are a friendly bunch.....pop in and have a look.


Heres (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=740615)a link for you, lots of reading. :D......

[Cornishpixie]

Hi, All other posts given good advise. I've joined a gym but prefer to go out do my own thing running or a long coastal walk. I do feel better when I've been out in the fresh air, motivates me to do more. Try getting out for a walk each day and eating 3 meals a day, drinking plenty water. Perhaps you need a project for rainy days like having a spring clean, car boot etc. To keep you busy. Once you get started things will get easier, as you will feel happier in your self and more motivated. Life's to short to sit there worrying. Give it a go. Also find other ways to relax and get out of your normal routine if you can. Like arrange to meet some friends or just doing something other than sit in front of the T.v. if you can. Hope this helps. Good luck.:D

[jojo1969]

thanks guys for all your encouragement,good luck kymrob i am feeing more positive today going to go for a long walk this afternoon and get my summer clothes out to get me motivated
thanks:T

[absolutebounder]

2 questions
Why specifically do you want to diet?
You say you feel you are a failure. Compared to what or whom?

[jojo1969]

i need to get weight off for myself health wise and to look better in clothes
the reason i feel such a failure isbecause i have no get up and go to do anything about it.i jnow i need a kick up the backside and im determined to get my willpower going and get some weight off for my hols

[Alias_Omega]

diets dont work, thats why there is so many of them.

take yourself out, buy yourself an cheap iPod / MP3 player then start running, start with 3 times per week, put a song on your iPod that is about 25-30mins long, then another after that about the same. Can be a dance mix, or just anything. You can use this as your timer, one track running / walking out, the other running / walking back. No point in treadmill work as you can simply press the STOP button and get off.

Try it..

[absolutebounder]

i need to get weight off for myself health wise and to look better in clothes
the reason i feel such a failure isbecause i have no get up and go to do anything about it.i jnow i need a kick up the backside and im determined to get my willpower going and get some weight off for my hols
Good answer for first question. so focus on being healthy and finding some enjoyable excercise. You could also visualise what you want to look like on the beach.
As for second Q you may have goalpost set too high. Lower it and start exercising slowly but do something you can enjoy.
As has been said most diets dont work. Its not so much the diet as the fact that it focuses your mind on food
The only diet I recommend is the dog diet where you get a largish dog and make the same meals as you do now but give 20% to the dog. Then you need to take dog for walk to stop him getting fat. This way you get less food more exercise and a companion.

[Paparika]

Jojo you are not alone..

I have tried various faddy diets... even tried the weight watchers, lost one stone in nine months :(

I decided to buy some new plates with large rims on so that I had less room to put food on, and just cut down a little on what i eat.

There's no point in cutting out all the naughty food as you want it all the more.

I don't do celery or carrot sticks, and in the past 2 months i have lost a stone.

Feel good about yourself and enjoy who you are. Good luck, I bet you'll get to the weight you want to be, but don't feel you need to be less, who wants a size zero anyway.

[Magpye]

Great responses from everyone here :T I have been down in the dumps myself today and reading this has cheered me up no end.

Jojo, do let us know how you get on - did you get your walk today? I hope you enjoyed it! :j Exercise can be great fun if you don't think of it as a chore or purely as a means to an end!

[notanothergreyhair]

I lost some weight in the past year, about 2.5 stones. Some of that was cambridge diet (which I did to reach a goal quickly) but prior to that, and after, I told myself the following.

I decided that I was not going to eat to lose weight, rather eat to improve my health. Every time I ate/eat I eat something with a beneficial health property. i.e. I will have a small glass of cranberry juice with breakfast for the kidney function benefits. I do this for most of the time, but then have the odd treat like a bar of dark chocolate.

I found that by having a focus on what health benefits I get from eating different things it made life much easier. The weight loss I get is a side effect of eating these things.

[HelenYorkshire]

i need to get weight off for myself health wise and to look better in clothes
the reason i feel such a failure isbecause i have no get up and go to do anything about it.i jnow i need a kick up the backside and im determined to get my willpower going and get some weight off for my hols

I'm the same, I have good months and what-the-heck-is-the-point months...
I've started posting on the Oldstyle weightloss board, they're not too scary I promise!:D

Little things count - like how you think about things. I like my food, I've never been "on a diet" and refuse to start now :eek::mad:.
So instead I think of it as how much fruit and veg can I cram in? The more I have of those, the less room for chocolate etc. After a couple of weeks the processed junk doesn't even taste nice, it's just getting to that point. Oh - I bought a vegan cookbook too - who else eats more veg than a vegan? :D

(Says me who tonight intended to go to 2 gym classes and instead came home and fell asleep on the sofa :o)

Having someone with you helps so much, my gym partner has gone AWOL and I've been about half as often - even though I tell myself I'm doing it for me, not her.

Try different stuff too - walking, swimming (thank heavens for ladies only classes!), yoga are gentle to start with. "Step and pump" was a bit much for me last week :eek: but at least now I know what to expect if I go again in a few weeks! I'm a complete dunce at ANY sport-like activity so I've learned to laugh at my attempts...but somewhere out there is something I'm good at. I'm pretty good at bendy yoga stuff, for example :D

Most importantly, if you scoff a sack of biscuits (or is that just me...?:o) don't think that's your week ruined. Just think how glad you'll be of a nice crunchy refreshing salad the next day, instead of heavy, greasy stodge.

[Ephemera]

Lots of weight loss threads on here...I'm with Murphy's No More Pies club in the Money Saver's Arms.

I've lost a stone and found some lovely, supportive and friendly people there. Have a look round the threads, you are sure to find one that suits you!

All the best,

Eph xx

[Toots]

jojo

Why don't you register with www.minimins.com (http://www.minimins.com) weight loss support forum.

There are forums for all sorts of different ways to lose weight on there and everyone gives lots of support and advice to others on there. If you fall off the wagon there will be lots of encouragement for you there. Some people keep their weight loss diaries on there too so you benefit from other people's experiences and perhaps learn to try different techniques.

When it really comes down to it I believe the most important thing is that you have to be in the right frame of mind to lose weight; you have to really really want to lose weight and realise that it won't happen unless you are prepared to put some time and effort into it.

Also a very important thing is to drink lots of water (don't glug it periodically but sip it constantly throughout the day). When people eat they often confuse thirst with hunger and reach for food when they really need a drink.

Good luck!

[jojo1969]

hi guys,well i have been for a hours walk yesterday and today and joined ww online.feeling really positive.i would like to thank you all for good advice and suggestions and i never though i would enjoy walking

[WorkingHardDFW]

Hi all

I just wanted to say a big thanks for all who have posted on here.

I've been on the DFW boards for about nine months now and thankfully our situation has really turned itself around. We've got a long way to go but we've moved such a long way already.

As the week has progressed I've started to think more and more about how the disciplines and good practices I've used in being a DFW'er should be put towards being lighter!!

I'm about two stone overweight and I would really love to see lose at least a stone this year. Why - well to look and feel better of course and to be healthier.

In the past I've done WW's sucessfully and tried high fibre and low carb diets all of which have worked. However I so agree with the coments on this thread about it being in the mind :T . I am intelligent woman, I know what I should and shouldn't eat, how I should exercise and the role model I should be for my children but do I do it ......well suprising sort of..........

When I am in the zone I achieve what I need too but unfortunately I can't seem to get in the right frame of mind neither can I accept that I weight what I do and that is OK - which is of course the other alternative...

Thats my story - sorry to ramble!

[kymrob]

glad u are feeling better and it really helps when you realise you are not alone and we all have our hang ups! i wish i had just 2 stone to lose i have about 5 more to go but already lost over 3 stone so i am on my way!!

[chalky 75]

Come On you can do it !!!!! Everyone has the right to feel special.

Visualise yourself happy and healthy and keep thinking it over and over again and think it even harder when you are tempted with rubbish-- you put rubbish in the bin not in you.

Put your trainers by the front door and walk to them and put them on without thinking too much. Walk out the door and walk even if it is only for 10 minutes 10 times a day.

Move every time the adverts come on --- might look mad but do step ups on the bottom step of the stairs, walk around the house . You can do an hours exercise a night with no effort and it stops the tea and biccies

YOU CAN DO IT

[jojo1969]

hi all,kymrob you have done so well to lose 3 stones.i have been for my walk in the pouring rain lol but so glad i did
the eating is going well so far drinking plenty of water
good luck all:D

[kymrob]

hi jojo how are you feeling??

[got-it-spend-it]

I lost some weight in the past year, about 2.5 stones. Some of that was cambridge diet (which I did to reach a goal quickly) but prior to that, and after, I told myself the following.

I decided that I was not going to eat to lose weight, rather eat to improve my health. Every time I ate/eat I eat something with a beneficial health property. i.e. I will have a small glass of cranberry juice with breakfast for the kidney function benefits. I do this for most of the time, but then have the odd treat like a bar of dark chocolate.

I found that by having a focus on what health benefits I get from eating different things it made life much easier. The weight loss I get is a side effect of eating these things.

Funnily enough this is exactly what I've been doing for the last week or so, although it's been an unconcious change rather than a concious one. I now find myself looking at a bag of crisps or donut and thinking 'I don't need those artificial flavourings/ sugar/ hydrogenated fats' and I find that much more offputting than when I used to look at it and think 'I don't need those calories'.

I'm not sure what made me think like this- I guess it's stuff I've always known sinking into my unconcious. Admittedly it doesn't always lead to the lowest cal option, but thinking about food and drink like this might work for you if, like me, you've spent too long caught up in the diet mindset.

Good luck on your path to healthy eating;) .

GISI

[Racklen]

i never diet and have been brought up not to and not to have weighing scales in the house as you only get obsessed with what you have eaten that you shouldnt and what you weigh.

for me to lose weight i found the only way was to eat fresh foods more that way im eating less salt less fat and less sugar and keep my meals simple and use spices and herbs to add flavour, im not a very good experienced cook thats why i keep it simple. i also reduced my portion sizes and didnt buy in bulk multi crips or chocolate packets, that way if i wanted a treat i had to walk to the shop for it which in turn gave me some excercise.

to loose the weight i just walked more as i live about a mile away from my town centre and most of my friends live over a mile to a max of 2 mile from mine so i just walked more the these places, it was a slow process of losing weight but it at least i know it will stay off unlike yoyo deiting and i feel healthier plus its saves you money on your food shopping buying less crap.

goodluck with the weight loss its hard to get motivated its easier if you have a freind to excercise with as you will motivate each other.

[keelyjrs]

Hi Jojo. and everyone!! I'm 6 stone overweight and have been on lots of different diets. Now I'm trying to cut out / down on naughties like cheese and chocolate etc. I stopped breastfeeding my littel boy a month ago and still have a massive appetite so my GP has prescribed a tablet t help me feel more full. I'm disabled though, can only walk short distances and get lots of pain and tiredness so it means I can't do much exercise.

I know how much it can get you down, trust me. I hope you can find a way to lose healthily. They do say any more than a couple of pounds a week is unhealthy so easy does it. Try and focus on all the great things about yourslef, see yurself through someone elses eyes. Go on... try it!! You'd be amazed at how many nice qualities you have, I bet!

[RedBern]

Someone's already mentioned eating more slowly and chewing your food. Put your knife and fork down in between mouthfuls as well and try and see how long you can take to finish a meal. I think it takes about 15 minutes for your brain to get the message your stomach is full so you have to give it a chance! Also, try getting smaller dinner plates so it looks like you're still having a full meal but you'll be eating smaller portions.

And if you're hungry then it is ok to graze (but not on chocolate ;))- take an apple or banana with you. Cut out processed food as much as you can as well. There's loads of hidden salt, fat and sugar - and just try to eat a healthier diet generally. Good Luck

[jeannieblue]

Hi all,

They say chew each mouthful at least 20 times. And don't overload the mouth!!

Its good to have say raisins and nuts mixture to nibble on when you're in a 'nibbly' mood. Again chew alot each nibble. Its so healthy to do so for the digestive system as well as sending the right messages to the brain.

Boredom doesn't help... I recommend a nintendo DS - since having mine, time flies and I forget any urges whilst intent on my brain training or taking my Nintendo dogs out or training them!!

[Merlot]

Hi Jennieblue:j Long time no speak, I hope you are ok.

OP, Exercise is the key, gardening, power walking, ride a bike, forget the diets, just eat healthly, lots of veg.

Don't be too hard on yourself, if you are too hard you are more likely to binge.

Good luck.

Merlot.x.

[frivolous_fay]

Absolutely agree about the exercise being vital.... and walking is great.

I used to walk and take the train getting to work. We lived in the centre of town and were very lazy eaters, used to get takeaway and eat out a lot.

We moved in July - now we live further out of town, but I am close enough to work to cycle every day. Because we're further away from restaurants, we cook more and eat more healthily generally.

I have put on a stone!

I used to walk for 30 minutes each day. Now I cycle for 20. It's scary how much of a difference it makes. The only thing for it is for me to alternate each week between riding and walking. It's a boring walk, but things won't get any better otherwise :(

Good luck OP - my advice is to get out and about, and walk whenever you can.

[alison999]

try doing your shopping online, i found that that is working wonders for me. if you order a few days before you want it delivering even if you splurge you have time 2 htink about what youre buying. and drink loads of water too :)