lea
29-03-2007, 11:42 PM
Hello
I originally posted this on the 'discussion time' board but someone suggested it may be better here. Please feel free to move if needs be (Some of it may be sensitive)....
To try and cut a very long story short, I am 25, my husband is 26 and although we only got married last July we have been together for over 8 years.
My husband has recently been diagnosed with depression, has been signed off work, and prescribed citalopram. He has never been what I would call 'properly' depressed before. He has previously occasionally had low days where he went off his food and found it difficult to sleep, but this would usually only last a couple of days and was very infrequent.
Before Xmas, he made a silly mistake at work through loss of concerntration but nearly lost his job over it. He had to fight to keep his job, the union got involved etc. I think this dented his confidence greatly and he hasnt been very happy since, and I think this has been the 'trigger'.
In February, out of the blue, he announced that he was not sure he wanted to be with me. This was such a shock because as far as I was concerned, our relationship was not the problem. I admit, our relationship is far from perfect, and we had been feeling the strain from his stressful time at work, but I didn't see this coming whatsoever. The next few weeks were very difficult. His parents and I talked to him and suggested he may be suffering from depression and not thinking straight. He agreed and went to the doctors quite willingly as he realised he may have a problem.
Over the past month things have been extremely difficult. He feels it so hard to talk to me, so just ends up going out with friends all the time (who are unaware of this situation) to try and pretend this isnt happening. He has been seeing a counsellor but it is very early stages and we have not seen the effects from that yet (although she did identify that he has very low self esteem and may have issues from his childhood).
Last weekend he spent Friday and Saturday night with his friends, excessively drinking (which it is advised not to do on the leaflet with his medication) and on Saturday night stayed out until 4am. He did not come to bed for another hour after that. On Monday he told me he had something to show me-he pulled down his trousers and showed me his thigh which he had taken a kitchen knife to and, well, basically sliced up. I was speechless.
I have known people who self harm, but I could not that my husband had done it.
He went back to the doctor to show him his leg and he has doubled his medication (2 x 20mg tablets a day).
So, I guess my question is......what the hell do I do?! Has anyone got any experience of living with someone with depression?!
I feel so lonely as it is like my husband, who I thought I knew so well, has turned into a different person. I don;t know whether to stick around in the hope that he will get through this and realise he does want to be with me, or whether the best thing for him would be for me to leave, as at the minute he doesnt want to spend time with me.
Its so difficult!!
Any comments greatly appreciated.
With Thanks
L
xxx
I originally posted this on the 'discussion time' board but someone suggested it may be better here. Please feel free to move if needs be (Some of it may be sensitive)....
To try and cut a very long story short, I am 25, my husband is 26 and although we only got married last July we have been together for over 8 years.
My husband has recently been diagnosed with depression, has been signed off work, and prescribed citalopram. He has never been what I would call 'properly' depressed before. He has previously occasionally had low days where he went off his food and found it difficult to sleep, but this would usually only last a couple of days and was very infrequent.
Before Xmas, he made a silly mistake at work through loss of concerntration but nearly lost his job over it. He had to fight to keep his job, the union got involved etc. I think this dented his confidence greatly and he hasnt been very happy since, and I think this has been the 'trigger'.
In February, out of the blue, he announced that he was not sure he wanted to be with me. This was such a shock because as far as I was concerned, our relationship was not the problem. I admit, our relationship is far from perfect, and we had been feeling the strain from his stressful time at work, but I didn't see this coming whatsoever. The next few weeks were very difficult. His parents and I talked to him and suggested he may be suffering from depression and not thinking straight. He agreed and went to the doctors quite willingly as he realised he may have a problem.
Over the past month things have been extremely difficult. He feels it so hard to talk to me, so just ends up going out with friends all the time (who are unaware of this situation) to try and pretend this isnt happening. He has been seeing a counsellor but it is very early stages and we have not seen the effects from that yet (although she did identify that he has very low self esteem and may have issues from his childhood).
Last weekend he spent Friday and Saturday night with his friends, excessively drinking (which it is advised not to do on the leaflet with his medication) and on Saturday night stayed out until 4am. He did not come to bed for another hour after that. On Monday he told me he had something to show me-he pulled down his trousers and showed me his thigh which he had taken a kitchen knife to and, well, basically sliced up. I was speechless.
I have known people who self harm, but I could not that my husband had done it.
He went back to the doctor to show him his leg and he has doubled his medication (2 x 20mg tablets a day).
So, I guess my question is......what the hell do I do?! Has anyone got any experience of living with someone with depression?!
I feel so lonely as it is like my husband, who I thought I knew so well, has turned into a different person. I don;t know whether to stick around in the hope that he will get through this and realise he does want to be with me, or whether the best thing for him would be for me to leave, as at the minute he doesnt want to spend time with me.
Its so difficult!!
Any comments greatly appreciated.
With Thanks
L
xxx