Clutter and hoarding - help!

[dag]

I live in South London, and I need help with my clutter. I can't find stuff, and I'm falling over stuff. :o

I don't need someone to tidy up my flat. What I need is support, so that I can take control and keep it tidy myself. I take this very seriously - so I don't need anyone making fun of it, or putting me on How Clean is Your House. It's like a circus freak show to me.

I'm interested in hypnotherapy, and cognitive behavioural therapy, preferably from the NHS or a voluntary organisation. I'd also be interested in support groups in the South West London or Surrey area - does anyone know of any?

If no support groups exist, I might try setting one up myself - can anyone advise me on this too?

Thanks. :)

[Savvy_Sue]

No, but if you find any services in Bristol I could do with some help myself. :) Mr SS is currently unable to find the paper counterpart of his driving licence, which he swears he put in the right place, but it ain't there now. There are about 101 piles of paper to look through, plus he has a selection of briefcases in which it could be lurking ... and we need it by Saturday because we're off to France, hiring a car, and I really didn't want to do all the driving! Oh, and did I mention that he is away Monday night and Thursday night so not around much to help me look?

Maybe we need an MSE "Tidy the House" buddy system?

Just thought: some people were finding The Fly Lady's (http://www.flylady.net/) approach helpful, maybe you would too? Although the recommendation is NOT to sign up for the emails as they will completely take over your inbox!

[raeble]

I hoard as well, I'd be willing to join an mse support group. I joined a couple of groups on yahoo - one thing they had was to tackle an area for five to fifteen minutes a day, move whatever should be there out of the area and put it in it's proper place. Everytime you buy something throw something else out. Try and throw out at least five things a week - second hand shop, bin etc. I am starting to throw things out - chucked a pair of shoes in the bin that had been very worn down that I would have normally kept.

[chardonnay]

sorry no advice about support groups but have a few tips

if you haven't worn something for a year chuck it.
if you find throwing things out hard ask a friend to help (as they won't have attachments to the clutter)
do a room at a time
buy a shredder makes getting rid of paper fun!
get 4 boxes and label them keep, dump, charity/car boot/ ebay, mabye

the keep box shouldn't contain too much but should be important or sentimental stuff you can't part with.

dump box should be broken/ old tat you couldn't sell or give to charity

charity/carboot/ebay- make some money from your clutter - go to a car boot if you don't have a car get a friend with a car to help. sell stuff on ebay - people will buy anything on there. even try local free ads for bigger items.
then anything that doesn't sell donate to charity.

the mabye box should be items you think you will need again- date it and if you haven't opened it in 6 months then chuck it unopened.

hope this helps

[karen23]

Not sure how much help this will be...................but I find I'm best off de-cluttering when I'm pre-menstrual. I'm far more ruthless about what I chuck out for some reason :confused: I've recently thrown out things I've previously hung onto for over 15 years. Feels good and I haven't regretted chucking anything yet!!

[Nile]

I'm a bit of a hoarder too, so I'm not the ideal person to advise on clearing clutter.

Regarding not being able to find things, that's not usually a problem in our house. We have ring binder files for the important stuff.

We have a file for House, inside are several clear ring binder pockets containing receipts and notes for work done on the house. There's info about roofers, joiners, plumbers etc.

We have a file for instruction booklets/manuals. Some manuals are smaller than the A4 sized pockets so they've been stapled onto A4 card so they're easy to read.

We have a fold out/concertina style file for receipts. With separate headings (Jewellery/Electrical/Clothing/Footwear etc) it's easy to find a receipt for goods bought.

Maybe filing your important documents/booklets/receipts would help you too?

[Lillibet]

Don't know how much this will help you but it's worked for me.
I hoard books. I find it physically painful to part with them. Which was fine when we could turn our spare beroom into a library but now we have a baby on the way & NO space to keep the hundreds (thousands??) I have acclumulated over the last 30 years. I have found it less painful if I don't just get rid of them but sell them, even of only for a few pence. I start off by listing them on Amazon for a set price, if they don't sell there after 2 months they go to a car boot sale & whatever we're left with after the car boot goes to a chairty shop IMMEDIATELY. I can reason that if I'm selling them we can put the money to greater good & even if they don't sell I have already decided I can live without them by this point & give them to charity.

HTH

[dag]

Lots of good advice, thanks. :) Mr SS's fella sounds just like me. ;)

That flylady thing seems good - specific, too.

if you haven't worn something for a year chuck it.
if you find throwing things out hard ask a friend to help (as they won't have attachments to the clutter)
do a room at a time
buy a shredder makes getting rid of paper fun!
get 4 boxes and label them keep, dump, charity/car boot/ ebay, mabyeThanks for the tips - but the trouble is, it's like yo-yo dieting. The tips work - but I tend to have one big blitz every once in a while, and nothing in between. Once I've made it tidy, I can't keep it tidy - and it goes round in cycles. So I think it's a mind thing, and I need some sort of talking support - faith healing, hypnotherapy, support groups, I don't know what.

I've had good experience of cognitive behavioural therapy for much more serious problems - so now I think I'm able to deal with the cluttering. :)

I was hoping for an in-person group, where a small bunch of people with mild to moderate clutter problems encourage each other, by going round each other's houses on a regular basis, and lavishing lots of praise on each other when something gets tidied - but not criticising anyone when it's messy.

I guess it's just the single living. When there are people about, and I'm not too tired, I can be quite domesticated. But my place is so messy, no-one can come round. And since no-one's going to come round, my place never gets tidied up. :o

Still - thanks for the suggestions. I think my best bet is to discreetly canvass the congregation of local churches, both for leads to existing support groups, and for potential recruits to my own group. I'll also mention it to the psychologist I've been seeing.

[Magentasue]

The analogy to yoyo dieting is good one. After years of decluttering spates, I know the drill but it's a battle to keep on top of things. Over the years I've come up with systems that help - e.g., a filing cabinet for documents like certificates and guarantees. I have a recycling bag near the front door for old newspapers and junk mail and put circulars straight in it. This reduces the piles of paper based stuff round the house.

I think you have to identify your clutter and cure yourself one step at a time. My house is full piles of paper/books/etc but I have the clothes under control because I now make myself wash, dry, iron and put away in the same day. If I didn't do that, I know the pile of ironing would grow.

If you know you tidy up for visitors - invite someone round!

[savvy]

If you know you tidy up for visitors - invite someone round!
LOL that's sooooo me!! I'm not toooo bad, it's mainly the kids, and very definately since I started work full time, I just don't have time to tidy up behind them. So I'm currently inventing some sort of system to keep them in check a bit more...............I think systems are the key, then make sure you STICK to the ones you found worked for you!
I'm also considering selling lots of junk on ebay (can't abide car boots, got bad memories!), I'm going to set myself a goal eg. getting money for a new camera lens, and then sell the junk to get that!! That way I won't feel bad/guilty about throwing stuff in the bin!! :rolleyes:
Good luck!

[one-non-blonde]

My name's One-Non-Blonde and I'm a clutterholic... :(

I had to move from a 5-bed house full of junk to a 2-bed flat last year... absolute nightmare. I still had all my school books, university notes, every bill I'd ever received, 9 years worth of kids clothes, toys, prams (3!), etc. Got rid of a lot but nowhere near enough. I had to leave behind the contents of the garden and shed because I had nowhere to put them. At this rate I'll end up on Life of Grime being paid a visit by health and safety officers cos I can't get out the door. I have to sleep on one side of the bed because the other half is ALWAYS covered in piles of laundry. Too cold and wet this time of year for car boot sales and I find Ebay really stressful, hard work (is that just me?).

One thing that did help me though: before I moved I got a chap round from a local household auction company who took a van load of stuff away (furniture and bric-a-brac). Once it was out of sight I forgot all about it and getting a £400 cheque in the post a few weeks later was a nice surprise.

However, today I gutted the kids wardobes and I put a broken hoover in the bin that I'd been tripping over for 6 months... now that felt good :D

One step at a time...

[empfun]

Read up on the Collyer Brothers (http://www.wfmu.org/Playlists/Charlie/char.010430collyer2.html), greatest hoarders in history and their demise.

[savvy]

Read up on the Collyer Brothers (http://www.wfmu.org/Playlists/Charlie/char.010430collyer2.html), greatest hoarders in history and their demise.Brilliant, just read that to my kids!!! Fingers crossed ;)

[Judi]

My kids say, if it aint nailed down, Mom will chuck it!!!:o

[savvy]

LMAO!! Just thought, the other extreme is my mate.............she's forever throwing everything out, so much so that it drives her husband MAAAAAAAAAAAD. Its funny cos he can't ever find anything, and yet it's a spotless house, he can't find it cos it's been thrown out!!! He's forever saying he daren't stand still too long cos he's scared he'll get thrown out too! :D

[one-non-blonde]

I don't buy newspapers for a reason... ;)

[Sofa_Sogood]

Read up on the Collyer Brothers (http://www.wfmu.org/Playlists/Charlie/char.010430collyer2.html), greatest hoarders in history and their demise.

Good story, I enjoyed reading it so thanks for the link.

How poignant was the ending?

Did make me want to have a good clear out though. :eek:

;)

[mini]

I started off pretending I was emigrating what wouldn't I want to pay to ship to Austrailia, that worked for some things, then I decided given I bring about 15-20 bags of shopping in per week the house wasn't shrinking & I had to get rid of sme stuff, did a car boot with a friend, made about £200 with my stuff:) listed videos & some books on marketplace at amazon. More recently in preparation for moving I have been trying to chuck out a bin bag a week of things I no longer need, i still had receipts for Christmas presents from the year before last:eek: now for electrical things I'll keep them but for the jigsaw from ELC I don't think I need it - but I might.

I'd also suggest even printing off what you have written about your hoarding to show your psychologist, sometimes we don't explain the depth of the problem in words, could be a really important step for you.

You are certainly not alone with this.

mini

[aliasojo]

I started off pretending I was emigrating

Could I just stop at this bit? ;)

The thought of sorting through my clutter and carefully hoarded items just gives me a headache!

[Savvy_Sue]

Read up on the Collyer Brothers (http://www.wfmu.org/Playlists/Charlie/char.010430collyer2.html), greatest hoarders in history and their demise.
HOW did the chap who raised the alarm know to do so? (I'm wording that carefully so as not to spoil the story!)

[Judi]

The worst sort of clutter for me is the clutter that my family have given me over the years. Like the boxed set of Star Trek videos that MrJudi bought me about 4 years ago. I am really grateful for them, but everybody hates science fiction in my house. I cant watch them, but i cant get rid either.

[kit]

I dont know if anyone will find this useful or would even be interested due to the 'stigma' attached but still I post just in case.

I used to work as a Tenancy Support Worker.... please keep reading, the name of the job was deceiving!!

Basically the job involved teaching people to live independently - this could be anything from assisting them with budgeting, organising household paperwork, cooking, learning, working, cleaning and decluttering.

A lot of housing associations and councils offer this assistance - YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE A TENANT TO GET THIS HELP (homeowners, private tenants and LA/HA tenants can qualify) and the service is free due to government funding. Some places only offer this service to 'young adults' (aged 16 to 25) but others offer to all. Where I worked provided assistance to all ages.

Basically the support workers are not there to 'do it for you', they are there to help you get your head round whatever you need to learn and help you go about it in a way to suit YOU. You have to apply for a support worker and when/if you get one the support can last anywhere from 1 week to 2 years - depending on how long you need the help for.
Some people turn their back on 'support' due to the name and stigma attached to it; however I learnt a lot from being a support worker - people are different and need to approach things in different ways! I have to say that I am a lot more organised (and can now get rid of things I dont use/need) because of the training I had to do the job!

I hope I have not offened anyone by listing this but it works for some people. :)

[Pat_]

My kids say, if it aint nailed down, Mom will chuck it!!!:o



This is exactly what my ex husband use to say, and now he's gone.;) :D



I'm not sad, so you can fall about laughing I do a lot.:D

[Pat_]

The worst sort of clutter for me is the clutter that my family have given me over the years. Like the boxed set of Star Trek videos that MrJudi bought me about 4 years ago. I am really grateful for them, but everybody hates science fiction in my house. I cant watch them, but i cant get rid either.


Judi, Tell them that William Shatner is coming round to watch the videos with you and you want them all out of the way.:D And don't forget to move the car cos he needs somewhere to park the Enterprise.:eek:

[Bordera]

Maybe we need an MSE "Tidy the House" buddy system?

Just thought: some people were finding The Fly Lady's (http://www.flylady.net/) approach helpful, maybe you would too? Although the recommendation is NOT to sign up for the emails as they will completely take over your inbox!

Savvy, thank you for this tip, I checked the website,, read for 2 seconds and thought it was far too organised for me. BUT the tip about the sink stuck, I found myself doing it and it worked :D :D. Now when I walk into my kitchen it looks gleaming clean (even if I know it isn't) :o

I'm trying the hot spots thing next. Many, many thanks for the tip.

[Savvy_Sue]

Savvy, thank you for this tip, I checked the website,, read for 2 seconds and thought it was far too organised for me. BUT the tip about the sink stuck, I found myself doing it and it worked :D :D. Now when I walk into my kitchen it looks gleaming clean (even if I know it isn't) :o

I'm trying the hot spots thing next. Many, many thanks for the tip.
Well I'm glad it worked for you. I still can't usually see my sink, and as it's a dark brown limescale encrusted monstrosity there's little likelihood of it ever being the first job of the day ...

However, today I have filled my black box (recycling) with paper from one table! I'm looking for the car's service history before I attempt to sell it ... it's like an archaeological dig, and I now have a pile of stuff for my husband to sort through. I'm sure he doesn't want most of it, but I can never quite tell ...

[savvy]

HOW did the chap who raised the alarm know to do so? (I'm wording that carefully so as not to spoil the story!)

YEAH!! I wondered that too!!! :confused:

Judi - can you not watch them in secret........................or kick them all out of the house and have a Star Trek evening to yourself!! LOL make some Klingon ****tails and Vulcan snacks!!! ;)

[kidtechnical]

I hoard books.
HTH

To Lillibet and all the other book hoarders out there,
There's a great site http://www.greenmetropolis.com for recycling your books. It's really simple, you register & then list any books you want to sell by inputting its ISBN number. When someone want's to by it you'll receive an email from them, you post it on & your account is credited.
All books (hardback or paperback, old or new) bought & sold for 3.99 inc p&p and some of that goes towards planting new trees. Of course there's a danger that you'll be tempted to buy....

[aliasojo]

I LOVE my books..... says she, shaking at even the thought of getting rid of them.

I may click on the above link.........but not yet. ;)

[elona]

So glad I am not the only one who loves her books. I enjoy re- reading them and getting even more out of them the second time.

At the risk of sounding soppy - they feel like pets or something ( two of my daughters feel the same way).

[Curry Queen]

My name's One-Non-Blonde and I'm a clutterholic... :(

I had to move from a 5-bed house full of junk to a 2-bed flat last year... absolute nightmare. I still had all my school books, university notes, every bill I'd ever received, 9 years worth of kids clothes, toys, prams (3!), etc. Got rid of a lot but nowhere near enough. I had to leave behind the contents of the garden and shed because I had nowhere to put them. At this rate I'll end up on Life of Grime being paid a visit by health and safety officers cos I can't get out the door. I have to sleep on one side of the bed because the other half is ALWAYS covered in piles of laundry. Too cold and wet this time of year for car boot sales and I find Ebay really stressful, hard work (is that just me?).


I could have written this myself!!!! :eek:

I even sleep on the sofa cos I can't get into my bed, or even my bedroom at times :o ... trouble is there's nowhere to store anything here and every spare bit of room is filled with boxes, many of which have never even been unpacked.

I really need to try and get on top of all this and sort everything out but it feel's like such a monstrous task that I just can't face on my own and I don't have anyone to help me :(


I LOVE my books..... says she, shaking at even the thought of getting rid of them.

Me too!!! ... I could NEVER part with any of my books!!!

[Savvy_Sue]

So glad I am not the only one who loves her books. I enjoy re- reading them and getting even more out of them the second time.

At the risk of sounding soppy - they feel like pets or something ( two of my daughters feel the same way).
I feel that way about some of my books, but I buy quite a few at jumble sales and often send them back where they came from after I've read them. It's a good cheap way of checking out whether there is any reason why eg J Archer sells so many books (not that I can see). But if I think anyone else in the house will want to read them I keep them. Before anyone goes away there's usually an extensive search of the shelves to see what should go in the carrier bag of books.

BUT I still don't see how anyone can retain that kind of attachment to the second hand text books they bought when they were studying Maths A level ... nearly 30 years ago! :confused: I KNOW he says the boys might find them useful, but I've yet to hear them admit they can't solve a Maths problem, and certainly not to ask him for any useful books on the subject he might have!

Anyway, I'm glad I'm not alone in having boxes (not just books) not unpacked after years of living in a house. We did try to sort out the lounge last summer, but we bought the wrong size of cupboard and I got stuck again. :o

[savvy]

BUT I still don't see how anyone can retain that kind of attachment to the second hand text books they bought when they were studying Maths A level ... nearly 30 years ago! :confused: Crikey wouldn't they be out of date with todays teaching methods?? ;)

Curry Queen.........................I can totally relate to you feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start!!! I have the same problem and there's only me that will sort it too. I try to start in one small area at a time, usually an area that will be noticed the most........................only problem is that no sooner has it been sorted...............it's been filled again!!! :mad: :rolleyes:

[Savvy_Sue]

Crikey wouldn't they be out of date with todays teaching methods?? ;)
Well that's what I said 5 years ago when I'd put them in the box to go to the Liberal Democrat sale (where we lived then the LibDems ran an annual book sale to raise funds and had built up a good deal of expertise in book dealing!)

But no, HE thought they were worth holding on to because HE had sometimes found that looking at a different approach to the one in whatever standard text book he'd been given was helpful.

IF I ever find them again, they're out. When he's not looking. He will never know. Because even if one of our sons DID want to look at them - they do at least have a talent for maths! - we would NOT be able to find them. I know this for a fact: we now have THREE copies of Catch 22: one in a box which we can't find but we know we've got it; one bought in a second hand shop because I couldn't find the first copy and my middle son wanted to read it; and a new one given to my middle son for his birthday because I'd asked someone to get it for him when I couldn't find the first copy, only that was a few months before I bought the second copy and I'd forgotten that the third copy was on its way ...
Curry Queen.........................I can totally relate to you feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start!!! I have the same problem and there's only me that will sort it too. I try to start in one small area at a time, usually an area that will be noticed the most........................only problem is that no sooner has it been sorted...............it's been filled again!!! :mad: :rolleyes:
Well I've now been all through one table full of paper and it only took two evenings. There's now just a lower level stratum of Christmas cracker toys, a pile of paperwork which mustn't be thrown away but I haven't got the energy to sort it and file it tonight (assorted bank and credit card statements going back over at least three years!), a recycling box full of paper, and a pile for my husband. I have been able to re-construct some of the car's service history but not the stuff I know we've had done in the last year so that's probably on the dining room chair. :o

[savvy]

"I know this for a fact: we now have THREE copies of Catch 22: one in a box which we can't find but we know we've got it; one bought in a second hand shop because I couldn't find the first copy and my middle son wanted to read it; and a new one given to my middle son for his birthday because I'd asked someone to get it for him when I couldn't find the first copy, only that was a few months before I bought the second copy and I'd forgotten that the third copy was on its way ..."

LMAO! so know this scenario!!! Hoarding is not very moneysaving in the long run sometimes!!! :rolleyes:

[Curry Queen]

Curry Queen.........................I can totally relate to you feeling overwhelmed and not knowing where to start!!! I have the same problem and there's only me that will sort it too. I try to start in one small area at a time, usually an area that will be noticed the most........................only problem is that no sooner has it been sorted...............it's been filled again!!! :mad: :rolleyes:


It's nice to know I'm not alone ;)

The main problem is that I had to considerably downsize property during my last move and now stuck in a poky little flat with barely room to swing a cat ... (not sure either of my cats would like me to experiment on them to find that out though LOL!) ... and even though I had a major clear out prior to that move, plus left a hell of a lot of stuff behind (a shed and garage-full!) plus some stuff going into storage, I still have far too much stuff around me. The whole move and losing so many possessions in itself was traumatic enough and I think that's why I'm desparate to cling on to what I have now even if I don't need it. Would you believe I still have a box full of teenage memoirs (diaries, school books, letters etc ... and even a stamp collection!) that I packed when I originally left home at 16 and has followed me around for the last 20+ years, still in the same box! LOL! ... I think maybe the OP had the right idea about talking to a therapist about it!

[savvy]

I think you're right Curry Queen, there definately seems to be psychological links to this subject. My eldest son keeps hold of EVERYTHING as memories, even sweet wrappers!!! Grrrrr! At least when I did that when I was a kid, I categorised them and stuck them in a scrap book, AND had grown out of it LONG before his age!!! :rolleyes: I believe his hoarding stems from me and his father splitting up when he was young, I don't think he's got over it properly.

Wouldn't you be able to sell the stamp collection?? This is the way I'm trying to get through to the kids at the mo...............sell your stuff and turn it into something more useful!!!! It's working on the younger one, he can see the benefits.................but I think the older one is going to turn into another Mr Trebaskis (old bloke off the Life of Grime)!!

[aliasojo]

So glad I am not the only one who loves her books. I enjoy re- reading them and getting even more out of them the second time.

At the risk of sounding soppy - they feel like pets or something ( two of my daughters feel the same way).

Yip! A full bookcase is a happy bookcase! :) (Only most of my books are in boxes at the mo'.)

Maybe we should all start a 'sad individual club' or something, lol! I'm happy to be a founder member. :D




BUT I still don't see how anyone can retain that kind of attachment to the second hand text books they bought when they were studying Maths A level ... nearly 30 years ago!

:D Oh lol! This is me! Except it's Chemistry, French and History textbooks. It's not that I'm overly fond of the books themselves....it's more that they are a part of my past. They're almost 30 years old......they're collector's items. ;)

[Judi]

they're collector's items.

You mean junk ;)

:D :D :D

[Savvy_Sue]

You mean junk ;)

:D (smilie deleted because it puts me over quota! Sorry Judi! :D
I am with Judi on this one!

A few years after I graduated, DH let me 'lend' my Hebrew Old Testament and dictionary to someone who would otherwise have had to buy their own copy, and I haven't seen (or missed!) either of them since. I knew he wouldn't let me get rid of any of my actual theology books, but I also knew that if we wanted to refer back to the texts 'as originally written', there were tools we could use more effectively than my very rusty Hebrew to do so!

Have I mentioned the bent floor board nails? DH didn't want me to throw them away, but I was allowed to take them to a car boot sale. I was amazed when someone offered me 50p for them!

Oh, and I've found some of the car servicing bills I was looking for. Some of them were even filed in the right place! :D

[aliasojo]

You mean junk ;)



Lol! Yes, that's what they are but I still can't bring myself to throw them out.

(Please note: I shall only ever admit that here, in amongst my fellow hoarders. ;))

[elona]

Maybe if we did not think of moving stuff to another home as getting rid of it then that might help.

I have recently managed to donate some books to our local library so lots of people can enjoy them and also donated a few to charity (never mind I still have loads , at laest it is a start.) :):):)

[Savvy_Sue]

Maybe if we did not think of moving stuff to another home as getting rid of it then that might help.

I have recently managed to donate some books to our local library so lots of people can enjoy them and also donated a few to charity (never mind I still have loads , at laest it is a start.) :):):)
I spotted a useful thread started by freecycle over in MoneySaving for Who and Where you are (http://forumdisplay.html?f=85), New Board! Local MoneySaving (http://forumdisplay.html?f=86), England (http://forumdisplay.html?f=89) (OK I know they look as if they ought to be links, but they're not, sorry, the next one is!)

The title Freecycle(gain and declutter for free!)worldwide (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=336787#post336787) caught my eye, and I think Elona at least should find it useful!


(http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?p=336787#post336787)

[Savvy_Sue]

And after falling over it for months, I managed to get rid of a box of Jumble to the local scouts. Proud of myself because I remembered just in time that there was a sale on Saturday, then bothered because it was in my diary for next week but I had a feeling the date had changed and I wasn't sure if that was the new date or the old date, then managed to track down a phone number for one of the Scout mums and got there just in time!

But there's already a little heap of the things I missed ...

[aliasojo]

You would all have been proud of me yesterday! :) A black bag full of things that I'd kept 'just in case', that I'd gathered from our computer room, headed for the bin.

There is one thing I'd like to know though....we have wall to wall shelves in this room, where we keep files of important stuff like statements and mortgage info etc. We never have a place for other paperwork though, like credit card application leaflets or bumph from offers we might want to take up, or discount vouchers, or magazines that we've kept in case we need to check back on some advice feature or other.

We actually have several of those rectangular plastic containers full of this kind of thing, (you know...the kind that stack) and they just sit in the corner looking untidy.

Where do you lot keep stuff like this?......Or don't you? Lol. ;) :)

[kidtechnical]

Too cold and wet this time of year for car boot sales and I find Ebay really stressful, hard work (is that just me?).

Not just you one-non-blonde! I find that ebays a lot of effor for not much of a return. I'm selling a few Dyson items just now & its been ok, I could lift the pics off their website etc, but when it comes to selling stuff (in my experience mainly baby clothes) there's the laundry, the ironing, the photoing, then putting it on the site & checking it everyday....takes ages. And Ebay seem to have changed the site so the minimum reserve price is 50, whats that about? We pay for the privilage of putting a reserve on it! I was going to put my stuff into a NCT Nearly New Sale, but I'll only get 70% so I'd like to do a car boot sale 1st then pass leftovers to NCT, but as you said it's too cold. I have found an indoor one near by but it starts at 4 or 5 am :p

[suki1964]

You would all have been proud of me yesterday! :) A black bag full of things that I'd kept 'just in case', that I'd gathered from our computer room, headed for the bin.

There is one thing I'd like to know though....we have wall to wall shelves in this room, where we keep files of important stuff like statements and mortgage info etc. We never have a place for other paperwork though, like credit card application leaflets or bumph from offers we might want to take up, or discount vouchers, or magazines that we've kept in case we need to check back on some advice feature or other.

We actually have several of those rectangular plastic containers full of this kind of thing, (you know...the kind that stack) and they just sit in the corner looking untidy.

Where do you lot keep stuff like this?......Or don't you? Lol. ;) :)

If you have a scanner then use a programme like scansoft paperport and get it all onto disks. I only mention paperport as I find it easy to use, you just make the folders you want ie gas bills, water bills, mortgage etc and scan away.

[Sofa_Sogood]

You would all have been proud of me yesterday! A black bag full of things that I'd kept 'just in case', that I'd gathered from our computer room, headed for the bin.

We never have a place for other paperwork though, like credit card application leaflets or bumph from offers we might want to take up, or discount vouchers, or magazines that we've kept in case we need to check back on some advice feature or other.

Where do you lot keep stuff like this?......Or don't you? Lol. :)

Hi aliasojo, those 'just in case' leaflets and applications have been the bane of my life lately too :D

I think I might have solved it by using those cheap but strong plastic see through wallets, the type with a press stud fastener.

I sorted them all out (well, as best as I could lol) into piles of financial stuff we might need, articles we might need, etc etc, punched two holes into the bottom of each plastic file, and banged 'em all in an A4 file. But make sure the holes are punched on the right side. (I think there's a right side lol)

Still a load of clutter, but it's all in one place :D Tidy clutter.

Well done btw ;)

Hope that made sense btw lol.

[freecycle]

I haven't read the whole of this thread, so sorry if I'm repeating someone - try www.freecycle.org and see if there's a group near you - that's how I get rid of my clutter ;)

[Judi]

In a true money making style, dont forget to do what i do every April. I go through drawers, wardrobes, bookshelves - anything really. I save a big pile of !!!! that we have accumilated and i lump it all together and advertise it in the local rag for car booters. I think i made about £40 last year for little effort.

[hrafndot]

I live in South London, and I need help with my clutter. I can't find stuff, and I'm falling over stuff. :o

I don't need someone to tidy up my flat. What I need is support, so that I can take control and keep it tidy myself. I take this very seriously - so I don't need anyone making fun of it, or putting me on How Clean is Your House. It's like a circus freak show to me.

I'm interested in hypnotherapy, and cognitive behavioural therapy, preferably from the NHS or a voluntary organisation. I'd also be interested in support groups in the South West London or Surrey area - does anyone know of any?

If no support groups exist, I might try setting one up myself - can anyone advise me on this too?

Thanks. :)

Dag/Sylvey you were asking about support groups

Newcastle University Distance Learning Unit are offering a free training course (by post) in Life Coaching. It is completely free and accredited and is designed by one of the leading authorities on the discipline (Fiona Harrold). It is possible if you apply soon, to obtain an accredited certificate and then a diploma, gratis. This might be a route for you to network in South London and find like minded students?

I thought that I might do the course myself and see if it helps me find a new perspective on my organisational skills. Only the paperwork is lost in the enormous mound that is my desk (and several carrier bags worth). If I find it tonight and the associated telephone number/course code, I will let you have the number.

Hypnotherapy is is a useful tool and cognitive therapy sounds great but expensive if you have not been referred. I'd love to learn more about it However, The Tavistock Institute (in London) is one to contact to find out whether they offer student consultations at reduced rates.

I suffer from all the symptoms that all your other correspondents mention, clutter, emotional reluctance to let things go, difficulty in getting started, boredom with confronting myself and my daily failure to cope. I find that, if I manage to dig myself out it is by primarily taking more exercise, getting more air into my lungs, being kind to myself and tackling the issue from an oblique angle. Hope this helps

LOL

[Savvy_Sue]

I haven't read the whole of this thread, so sorry if I'm repeating someone - try www.freecycle.org (http://www.freecycle.org) and see if there's a group near you - that's how I get rid of my clutter ;)You're almost repeating yourself, as I spotted your post somewhere else and put a link to it a few days ago, giving you due credit. But then we hoarders can never find anything, so it's useful to have multiple copies. :D

I like Judi's idea: I send loads off to the jumble sale and I don't begrudge the Scouts getting benefit from my junk, but at the same time I know they have so much left over afterwards and some of it gets sent to charity shops but other bits just get dumped.

[savvy]

If you have a scanner then use a programme like scansoft paperport and get it all onto disks. I only mention paperport as I find it easy to use, you just make the folders you want ie gas bills, water bills, mortgage etc and scan away.This is a flippin good idea.....................and I know why I've never thought of it before......I don't have a scanner :o Now I want one even more than before :rolleyes: I'll have to sell some of our junk, then I'll be able to buy one!

These jumble sale posts, got me thinking................I haven't seen one advertised for years..............are they beginning to fade out??

[savvy]

Oh crikey I've just realised............................I hoard in my office at work as well!!! :o :rolleyes:

[electracy]

Hi,

I found this site about extreme mess, and I hope no-one here is this bad (see the photos on the site). It is good because it is talks about the psychological reasons why people hoard and has an online support group as well.

http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/index.shtml

The Flylady site is brilliant as well if you deal with the ammount of email that comes through.

I'd also like the information on the life coaching course as well, if you can find it...


KT

[hrafndot]

Hi,


I'd also like the information on the life coaching course as well, if you can find it...


KT

I'm going to get my tooth taken out now (I've been hoarding it). I will start digging in my piles and find it when I come back this afternoon. It would help me if you remind me whether I have applied for it as well.

Cheers

Rachel

[moggins]

I'd love the information on the life coaching course too please.

[moggins]

I have to add that I've been following Flylady for the past couple of years, you don't have to opt in for the e-mails, I bought the book and found it a lot easier to use, I just nip on the website to give me a kick up the behind whenever I feel myself slipping.

[KK]

I am a weird mixture of sentimental hoarder (diaries, cards, letters etc) and ruthless chucker outer. I believe a house devoid of any reading matter (magazines, newspapers, books, brochures, catalogues etc) is just plain dull. I have 100s of books and occasionally cull them and chuck out ones I've read and won't ever read again, ones I thought I'd read and haven't and ones that are out of date (e.g. travel guides over 10 years old etc). I used to work in publishing so had a supply of free books for years so getting rid of them isn't particularly painful. I still have all my favourite books I had as a child and my daughter now enjoys the ones she is old enough for. To me my books are part of my life and are like old friends. We live in a tiny cottage and we have put up shelves in all sorts of strange places to store my books. Above the stairs I have approx 250-300 books on shelves which can only be reached by ladder, but fill up an otherwise empty space. I also have them on high shelves along my landing - these can be reached.

I keep paperwork in my dining room, I have 3 boxes (wooden magazine boxes) one for my in-tray (bills to pay, filing etc), one for stuff which is useful to have around (labels for my daughter's school stuff etc) And one for my husband's business post. This in theory keeps my dining table clear of paperwork. Every week or so (not always adhered to!) I take it upstairs to our office and file it away. My filing cabinets are beautifully organised into receipts/guarantees, car files, health (insurance, passports, medical info etc), work, pensions, house file, domestic bills, savings, investments, bank statements etc. Every now and then I clear these out and shred the stuff at work. It sounds as if I'm showing off and in a way I am as when it works it's brilliant, but when I get behind with the filing it's chaos! I have a drawer downstairs for blank cards, stationery etc, one for bits like string, sellotape, and all sorts of other useful bits. My hubby has a junk drawer which has batteries and things in. I keep current catalogues and holiday brochures in a basket and when that gets full I clear that out.

My daughter has 2 baskets in the dining room with little bits that she likes in (she's 4) like cracker toys, little bags etc and generally things get tidied away in those. The rest of her toys are upstairs in her bedroom, apart from her painting and drawing stuff which I keep in a drawer downstairs so I can keep an eye on her! Nearly everything in my house has a place, but it's not always easy to keep it in the right place... I wish I was better at throwing things away!

I do get rid of stuff on ebay, I give children's clothes away to friends with younger ones, toys I give to a charity shop or other people. Since we have had wheely bins I recycle loads more, but I really can't thrown things away which might be of some use. Under our bed my husband has those plastic boxes on wheels full of bits of wire and tools and door knobs and all sorts, but at least they are out of the way!

We have a website where I live called something like Swapshop Surrey where you can post what you want to get rid of and what you would like in return - like old fashioned bartering really!

I do envy people who's houses are really organised though - they must have such unluttered brains!

[KK]

For years I have collected recipes cut out of magazines, newspapers, printed off websites, handwritten by friends etc - for years they were stuffed into a folder, so that each time I went to get a recipe I had to unfold them all to find it. My friend's idea which I embraced wholeheartedly was to buy a ring binder file and fill it with plastic punched pockets - into each pocket I put a recipe so that I can read it easily, and the pocket can be taken out and used in the kitchen and then wiped of any spills. I use this file all the time now and soon I will be purchasing a new one as it is full. It is also roughly categorised into savoury, puddings, cakes, bicuits, drinks etc (plus playdoh and salt dough recipes!). A really simple idea that has proved invaluable.

[hrafndot]

For years I have collected recipes cut out of magazines, newspapers, printed off websites, handwritten by friends etc - for years they were stuffed into a folder, so that each time I went to get a recipe I had to unfold them all to find it. My friend's idea which I embraced wholeheartedly was to buy a ring binder file and fill it with plastic punched pockets - into each pocket I put a recipe so that I can read it easily, and the pocket can be taken out and used in the kitchen and then wiped of any spills. I use this file all the time now and soon I will be purchasing a new one as it is full. It is also roughly categorised into savoury, puddings, cakes, bicuits, drinks etc (plus playdoh and salt dough recipes!). A really simple idea that has proved invaluable.
Sounds like another suggestion where a scanner would come in handy?

[savvy]

Sounds like another suggestion where a scanner would come in handy?LMAO! I was thinking that as I was reading throught it..................BUT then thought it would be difficult to access quickly, or it would be on screen when you are in kitchen etc :confused:

So then I got to thinking....................I haven't got a scanner, but HAVE got a laminator!! All those annoying little recipes could be categorised, glued onto A4 paper, and then on the back too, and then laminated. Voila, wipe clean and protected, categorised AND can also be hole punched for file!!! Hmmmmmmmmmm now gotta be @r$ed to do that!!! :o

[aliasojo]

I lost this thread the other day when I was looking for it! Oh lol, that sounds familiar.....so much clutter you can never find what you want. :D

The scanner idea is quite a good one, but I inherited my scanner and I can't find a suitable driver for it, so it sits in the 'just in case' pile.

I think the folder option is good too, but I'd need loads of those. Of course I could probably trim back what was to be kept if I was a bit more ruthless. :rolleyes:

I've got a laminator too....but I can't find the pouches for it.:o

I AM on a roll though! 5, yes 5 black bags full of stuff went in the bin this week, only it all came out of eldest son's room. It's always easier being ruthless with other people's junk isn't it?

[Savvy_Sue]

but before you all get jealous, it's buried under:

the Christmas catalogue from Hawkin's Bazaar

a copy of the letter I sent to the mobile windscreen people when they couldn't find my insurance details

a mousemat (freebie)

a photo of my son apparently sitting down to eat a cat (live)

a page torn from an old newspaper

a printed copy of one of my DH's sermons

a notebook

assorted CDs and DVDs

and various other things which are buried too deep for me to see without moving them ...

I'm getting rid of the first three. The rest are all my DH's responsibility!

[Luis]

If you favour the CBT approach, then you need to integrate that in with your lifestyle and decision making processes, eg:

Reward yourself for each declutter you do (or conversely, do not allow yourself a treat until you have done a declutter) - eg: When I have tidied out that drawer, I will watch TV / I will not watch TV until I have tidied out that drawer.

Do a big clear out on your clothes, then every time you buy a new thing you have to throw something out / not allowed to buy a new thing until you throw something out (or take it to the charity shop).

Pay attention to how you feel when you have achieved a declutter - good? organised? proud? Compare this with how you feel when things are messy - stressed, embarassed, irritated? Which would you rather? Therefore, set up systems which enable you to feel good, such as a box file for bills / household with compartments, and every time you file something away allow yourself to feel good.

Avoid the concept of a support group - why should it be that you can only achieve / feel good when sharing? Keep this one for yourself, or at the most gain support from this forum. This ensures that you do not become reliant on the thought that you can only ever do something with help.

The premise of CBT is heavily reward based - this can either be materialistic (eg for every good thing I will do I will get a treat), but far more effective is to tap into your feelings - what makes you feel good, proud, achieving etc then use that. Even smugness!

Good luck and PM me if you need any further support / help.

Luis

[hrafndot]

Avoid the concept of a support group - why should it be that you can only achieve / feel good when sharing? Keep this one for yourself, or at the most gain support from this forum. This ensures that you do not become reliant on the thought that you can only ever do something with help.

The premise of CBT is heavily reward based - this can either be materialistic (eg for every good thing I will do I will get a treat), but far more effective is to tap into your feelings - what makes you feel good, proud, achieving etc then use that. Even smugness!

Good luck and PM me if you need any further support / help.

Luis

Thanks for this comment, you are referring to cognitive behavioural therapy? I agree that this forum is more than enough support. By the way I am still looking for the paper work on the life coaching training, will find it tonight. What do you think of the idea of taking one of these courses?

[Savvy_Sue]

Pay attention to how you feel when you have achieved a declutter - good? organised? proud? Compare this with how you feel when things are messy - stressed, embarassed, irritated? Which would you rather? Therefore, set up systems which enable you to feel good, such as a box file for bills / household with compartments, and every time you file something away allow yourself to feel good.Usually exhausted by the physical exertion, and depressed by how little I have achieved compared to what remains. A week later even more depressed that whatever I have achieved has now been sabotaged by someone else in the household.

but I felt good when I found the bills I needed for the car!

[hrafndot]

Newcastle University Distance Learning Unit are offering a free training course (by post) in Life Coaching. It is completely free and accredited and is designed by one of the leading authorities on the discipline (Fiona Harrold). It is possible if you apply soon, to obtain an accredited certificate and then a diploma, gratis. This might be a route for you to network in South London and find like minded students?

I thought that I might do the course myself and see if it helps me find a new perspective on my organisational skills. Only the paperwork is lost in the enormous mound that is my desk (and several carrier bags worth). If I find it tonight and the associated telephone number/course code, I will let you have the number.

LOL

I found the paperwork!! Newcastle College Flexible Learning, 2nd Floor Dudley Court, Manor Works, Cramlington NE23 6QW. Ask for forms on Certificate and Diploma on Life Coaching. Hope this is useful for those who showed interest.

[savvy]

A week later even more depressed that whatever I have achieved has now been sabotaged by someone else in the household.
Hmmm can totally relate to that! Usually only takes a day in my house...............drives me mad!

Thanks for those details hrafndot!

[Murtle]

I have a declutter book - and it does advise that there is usually a personal attachment to things that can often prevent you from moving on.

The way I started - and it's a long trek - but instead of choosing a location ie lounge etc was to choose a thing ie ornaments; I had loads and I had to go through each one, pick it up and decide if I still wanted it - if it was a definite no, then it got put in a box for re-sale/bin. If it was a maybe or yes it got put back on the shelf. (this is a repetitive solution). Select the top five things ie
ornaments
books
cooking equipment
clothing (break it down if it's too large!)
photos
and work on it one by one

[savvy]

That's a good idea Murtle, sort of an easier way to approach it. Well I'm chuffed I've got 3 charity bags outside the front door and a dustbin bag of rubbish went off today.....................but we've STILL got too much stuff in our house! :rolleyes:

[chardonnay]

i posted some tips on the first page of this thread but have to say i am by no means perfect. i come from a family of hoarders as does my fiance. however having moved 5 times in the last 6 years i can say we both have too much clutter and are doing our beat to get rid of some and stop anymore building up. i think you notice it more when you move and the same stuff is still boxed up after x amount of years but you can't get rid. hopefully before we move again we will have got rid of some of this clutter

[Murtle]

if only I could get off this site, my place would be like a palace......:confused:

[savvy]

if only I could get off this site, my place would be like a palace......:confused:LMAO!!!! Ditto to that Murtle!

[Sofa_Sogood]

if only I could get off this site, my place would be like a palace......:confused:

Same here Murtle :o

I've just tried to read the site without logging in ... had to log in again. I only joined because of free tokens and stuff I didn't need, (which I don't enrol for anymore - apart from sim cards for the kids) but my house has gone to pot :(

But I've swapped two sims and a wristband in exchange for some ironing. Only thing is: they've got the sims and wristband and our clothes are still crinkled ;)

Kids grrr

Great site, shame about the housework thing. I might take Quentin Crisp's approach towards it all. It's only dust and after 4 years it doesn't matter.

Apparently ;)

[Sheel]

Great site, shame about the housework thing. I might take Quentin Crisp's approach towards it all. It's only dust and after 4 years it doesn't matter.


That's definitely my approach as I maintain a bit of dust never harmed anyone. That's my excuse and i'm bl00dy well sticking to it :D

On the clutter and hoarding front i've tried to be ruthless recently and have got rid of quite a lot of treas.. er... junk , not all though :o , but we've just got a larger garage and had the loft done so that i've more places to hide er... store my stuff :cool:

[Savvy_Sue]

Great site, shame about the housework thing. I might take Quentin Crisp's approach towards it all. It's only dust and after 4 years it doesn't matter.

Apparently ;)I think what he said was that it didn't get any worse after 4 years. I suspect I can vouch for that. ;)

[Sofa_Sogood]

Sheel? We had a garage and now we don't. Can you imagine what it's like? :rolleyes: I hate dust but it looks like i'ts here to stay (I blame this site btw)

:D

And Savvy_Sue? I daren't wait that long lol. But isn't it ironic that when everything's clean and tidy (and dust-free :j ) no-one visits? :(

:D

It's true though isn't it? lol

[Edinburghlass]

Well, where do I start.....

No garage but a garden hut that is full, so when its full everything piles up in the hall. Now the plan was to do a carboot so DD gathers her stuff in said hall, which I might add is small, and I plan to clear the hut and finally get the Christmas decorations back in the attic.

Have a couple of days away, DD insists that the three guinea pigs, one hamster and one of the three cats have to go along...

Come back and the two large guinea pig cages are left in what space is in the hall. I get up Tuesday morning after DD has left for school (7.30) trip over the two large guinea pig cages, don't know how I didn't see them as they are large, fall flat on my face and break my wrist.......

Now the car boot can't be done, Christmas deccies are still piled up in my bedroom and no chance of getting into the loft. The guinea pig cages are now back where they belong and a space has been created in the hall and I have learned to use a mouse with my left hand and with a lot of exerising can even use my right fingers for typing again :rotfl:

but I still have all my rubbish :o

[Sofa_Sogood]

With all that going on Edinburgh_Lass .....:eek:



I'd have Christmas early :D

[Savvy_Sue]

Oh dear Edinburgh Lass, if I lived nearer I'd offer to come and do a joint car boot with you! (except my boot's tiny so we wouldn't get much of your stuff in it!)

I'm hoping to sort out some boxes of jumble for the Scouts while I'm off work this week. Start in the porch and work my way in ...

Sofa - no-one really visits anyway, only the boys' friends and they don't care! I'm worried people might come when I get home from hospital though!

[Sofa_Sogood]

Well if you get visitors when you get home Savvy Sue, stick a duster in their hands - might as well be doing something apart from chattering ;)

Seriously, I'd like to buy a steamer and maybe a breadmaker. But I've looked in all the cupboards .... nowhere to put them!

Is there a site anywhere that helps you to downsize everything? What I mean is, for two people, it's not necessary to have 24 plates is there? Ditto for cups, glasses, cereal bowls etc.

And how many pans do two people need? That sort of thing. I'm sure there's a site somewhere, just can't think where to look.

Can anyone help please?

[Savvy_Sue]

Well if you get visitors when you get home Savvy Sue, stick a duster in their hands - might as well be doing something apart from chattering ;)If they mention the dust, I will ... I've been known to clean a friend's cooker from time to time, just the top bit you understand, I hope she hasn't been offended! I think my kitchen isn't too bad - well I'm sure Aggie and what's her face would be horrified, but I don't prepare food on the floor, do I?

Seriously, I'd like to buy a steamer and maybe a breadmaker. But I've looked in all the cupboards .... nowhere to put them!My breadmaker lives on the worksurface, but I've got a long one in a sort of galley extension to the kitchen so it's like a walk-in cupboard really. But if you're going to use something a lot, why put it away? I used to use my food processor a lot more than I do now someone's hidden it!

Is there a site anywhere that helps you to downsize everything? What I mean is, for two people, it's not necessary to have 24 plates is there? Ditto for cups, glasses, cereal bowls etc.

And how many pans do two people need? That sort of thing. I'm sure there's a site somewhere, just can't think where to look.

Can anyone help please?Flylady (http://www.flylady.net/)? Haven't had a good look, but there's bound to be something there, there is for all of life's other problems!

[Sofa_Sogood]

Thanks Savvy Sue, I'll try the Flylady site. I love the place, but never get past the sink cleaning section :D It's one tip that really works for me.

Can't show off things like breadmakers though, we downsized so much to live in a quieter and nicer area, I might as well be in a caravan. Which has just given me an idea. :j

We had a caravan which we used as a second home for holidays, albeit for short breaks, but it held everything we needed. Maybe if I can remember what was in the very few cupboards we had there, I'll know what I don't need here.

I think there'll be a big charity shop box being filled soon. Clutter gets me down .... and it's all my clutter! lol. I'd let Mr S do it but his idea of decluttering means dumping everything :rolleyes: I had to look in the bin the last time and retrieve birth certificates and marriage lines :eek:

I'll look on Flylady. It's at times like this I wish he had a laptop and we had broadband - I'd ask him to look :D

As for cleaning other peoples' cookers? You're mad! No seriously, I enjoy cleaning other people's things, like clearing up after parties. Not sure about cookers though ;)

[Savvy_Sue]

As for cleaning other peoples' cookers? You're mad! No seriously, I enjoy cleaning other people's things, like clearing up after parties. Not sure about cookers though ;)Well it was usually when I was round her place and we were looking after half a dozen kids while the other mums had a couple of hours off, and then they'd reciprocate for us another week. When it was all quiet I'd go into the kitchen and make a cuppa, and just give a quick wipe over while the kettle boiled. Bit of elbow grease and it was much improved. Anything rather than change a nappy! :rotfl:

[Sofa_Sogood]

Well it was usually when I was round her place and we were looking after half a dozen kids while the other mums had a couple of hours off, and then they'd reciprocate for us another week. When it was all quiet I'd go into the kitchen and make a cuppa, and just give a quick wipe over while the kettle boiled. Bit of elbow grease and it was much improved. Anything rather than change a nappy! :rotfl:

To be honest I hate to see a cooker top that's dirty, whether it's mine or a friends. But the inside can stay as it is, as long as the door stays shut ;)

We should all do 'job swaps'.

I love filing (which looks strange in this topic lol), but hate ironing. Can't do it anyway now, but can't find a friend that likes her filing to be done in return for them to do my ironing.

Which won't come as any surprise to anyone I'd imagine :D

[Edinburghlass]

I was child sitting for friends once and tackled their full sink of dishes as I was a bit bored, they came home and went out again as they thought they had come into the wrong house :rotfl:

I might add that my own sink can remain full for all I care....

I did have a wonderful neighbour that would do any ironing when she baby sat for me, I used to try and find reasons for going out just to get my ironing done :o

Sofa, the bread making machine would probably end up staying in that cupboard after the initial enthusiasm over daily bread making wore off :rolleyes:

When I feel like baking bread I buy a Tesco ready mix for about 70p and it takes very little time and tastes yummy ;)

[Savvy_Sue]

I love filing (which looks strange in this topic lol), but hate ironing. Can't do it anyway now, but can't find a friend that likes her filing to be done in return for them to do my ironing.just give up ironing. I did, years ago! Get clothes out of machine, shake 'em a bit, and either tumble dry (shirts especially) or hang up with their creases right. If you don't have a tdrier, put shirts on hangers. Look at them hard, and think "by the time I've had that on for half an hour, is it going to look any more crumpled than it does now?" Job done.

You do have to be a bit disciplined and not just dump stuff in heaps at any point. If things are always badly crumpled, find a jumble sale!

[Sofa_Sogood]

I was child sitting for friends once and tackled their full sink of dishes as I was a bit bored, they came home and went out again as they thought they had come into the wrong house :rotfl:

I might add that my own sink can remain full for all I care....

I did have a wonderful neighbour that would do any ironing when she baby sat for me, I used to try and find reasons for going out just to get my ironing done :o

Sofa, the bread making machine would probably end up staying in that cupboard after the initial enthusiasm over daily bread making wore off :rolleyes:

When I feel like baking bread I buy a Tesco ready mix for about 70p and it takes very little time and tastes yummy ;)

I want to buy the house next door to your neighbour's, any of them :D

I had a feeling someone might say that about the breadmaker. My other half wasn't keen, but living in the back of beyond, I thought it might help him. I mean me ;)

Never seen the Tesco ready mix (but not seen Tesco's more than twice, apart from online lol), so I'll look out for that.

Is 70p cheap though?

[Sofa_Sogood]

just give up ironing. I did, years ago! Get clothes out of machine, shake 'em a bit, and either tumble dry (shirts especially) or hang up with their creases right. If you don't have a tdrier, put shirts on hangers. Look at them hard, and think "by the time I've had that on for half an hour, is it going to look any more crumpled than it does now?" Job done.

You do have to be a bit disciplined and not just dump stuff in heaps at any point. If things are always badly crumpled, find a jumble sale!

I'm so lazy and out of it SavvySue, that I've got my husband to shake 'em lol. He's not bothered because he rarely wears a shirt and tie, so his t shirts etc are hidden under overalls. But as we've just been reunited with the delights of tumble drying again (even though it's in a new shed), it's not as bad as it could be ;)

There must be too many clothes. The middle bedroom's full of ironing. So that's two bedrooms out of action :o

I need an organiser don't I?

Or a big jumble sale ;)

That's it now. I've decided. Husband's shirts and T shirts are going to the charity shop or being dumped. Well, all but about 30.

He must have about 150 and that's not a lie. It's madness.:eek:

[Edinburghlass]

I want to buy the house next door to your neighbour's, any of them :D

does that mean you will baby sit for me and do my ironing :j



Is 70p chreap though?

who the heck cares??

[Sofa_Sogood]

I want to buy the house next door to your neighbour's, any of them :D

does that mean you will baby sit for me and do my ironing :j

No! I'll babysit but noooo to ironing :rolleyes:

Is 70p chreap though?

who the heck cares??

Not me :p

(I'll have to find that quote in quotes thread lol)

[Savvy_Sue]

Well Sofa, I bought my bread machine second hand for not quite the same reason as you: we don't get through a lot of bread, but when we run out I really resent paying £1 or more for a basic white sliced loaf from the corner shop just because I can't easily get to a supermarket. And none of us like frozen bread. It only makes a 1.5 lb loaf, however, which means it's not big enough to cook a packet of bread mix, although I can just knead it then put it in oven.

So I usually buy a loaf of white (for the kids) and a loaf of brown (for us) at the weekend, then 'top up' with the machine part way through the week. Sometimes I make it at the weekend, but it all goes at one meal!

Just realised, no brown bread in the house and hubby and I are home today ... mmm, fresh bread needed!

and yes, 150 shirts is excessive: my DH has lots but not quite that many, his dad passed a load on to him when he retired, doesn't intend to wear a white shirt ever again! Make sure you keep a grotty one for painting in and then throw out the oldest ones: you don't want to have to go and buy any more in a hurry, do you?

[Sofa_Sogood]

I'm going to invest in a bread maker Savvy_Sue.

I opened a 'fresh' loaf from Asda yesterday, and thought my cheese n onion sandwich tasted of chemicals but put it down to the onion. But it's the same today - as if the plastic wrapper's reacted with the bread. I'd go as far as saying it's giving off 'fumes' yuk :(

As for the t shirts? I'm boxing them up and sending them to work. The lads might as well have a change of t shirt now the weather's changing :D and I'll hide the more expensive ones till he's run out of clean ones ;)

[Savvy_Sue]

I'm going to invest in a bread maker Savvy_Sue.There's been various discussions about them on Moneysaving Old Style, and on I wanna as well I think, so if you've got an hour or two to kill one day you could do some research before you buy.

If there's just the two of you usually then a small one should do you: no point making big loaves because it doesn't keep well. Or maybe you can make half-quantities in a large one, don't know!

End of my week off, and what do I have to show for it? Zilch. But my blood pressure's coming down! So I've probably just stopped caring ...

[Edinburghlass]

Savvy-Sue you have just brought my blood pressure down too as your confession relieves my guilt at having done nothing either.......

[Sofa_Sogood]

There's been various discussions about them on Moneysaving Old Style, and on I wanna as well I think, so if you've got an hour or two to kill one day you could do some research before you buy.

If there's just the two of you usually then a small one should do you: no point making big loaves because it doesn't keep well. Or maybe you can make half-quantities in a large one, don't know!

End of my week off, and what do I have to show for it? Zilch. But my blood pressure's coming down! So I've probably just stopped caring ...

I've seen those threads Savvy_Sue but didn't take much notice at the time because of the space issue etc, but I'll have another look through them all. I can always find an hour or two to kill (touch wood ;))

There's just the two of us, but I don't mind feeding the lads at work. Luckily they have strong stomachs and big appetites :D , so I don't think there'll be much wasted. (And tbh - I waste so much sometimes I doubt I'd notice it :o which isn't good.)

But like EdinburghLass, I've done very little (apart from add to my ever increasing weight - I blame reading this site ;)) and I've had more than a year off :eek:

But well done re the BP. That's a fair swap in 'my world' :)

I'll have to start again with the Money Diet book, the tips, the everything.

Thanks to Asda and it's awful bread I might be a moneysaver after all :D

But I'm still surrounded by clutter lol.

Maybe cheap filing cabinets hidden in the understairs cupboard might be better. I'm a bit like KK I think - hoard unnecessary things. I'll start again.

Tomorrow ;)

[Savvy_Sue]

Savvy-Sue you have just brought my blood pressure down too as your confession relieves my guilt at having done nothing either.......but I haven't got a broken wrist to use an excuse!

There's just the two of us, but I don't mind feeding the lads at work. Luckily they have strong stomachs and big appetites :D , so I don't think there'll be much wasted. (And tbh - I waste so much sometimes I doubt I'd notice it :o which isn't good.)I have a very good recipe for bread pudding, so I haven't 'wasted' too much, but it seems we share another problem not helped by bread pudding...

But like EdinburghLass, I've done very little (apart from add to my ever increasing weight - I blame reading this site ;)) and I've had more than a year off :eek: You'll have to come and join us on the I wanna ... lose weight thread! I won't make it too easy by pasting the link - it's a sticky at the top of the I wanna board!

[Curry Queen]

Thanks to Ed'lass for reminding me of this thread :A

I seriously need some help! ... preferably my own personal version of Agi & Kim I think :o

Are there any companies out there that actually provide that sort of service, as opposed to just regular cleaners? What I would really like is for someone to come in and help me sort out all the clutter (and preferably remove it for me!) and give the flat a good bottoming (it's not filthy or anything, but there are areas that have been neglected this last year due to ill health and disability) so that I could start with a clean slate and try to keep on top of it.

I've struggled with it for far too long, going round in circles trying to do bits and getting nowhere really. By the time I've done the daily necessities, i.e. cooking, washing-up, laundry, cleaning the bathroom etc I'm just too exhausted to do anything else, and even struggle with these at times :o

Thing is, I contacted an old friend recently and she wants to come and stay for a few days soon and I'm absolutely horrified at the thought of her seeing my home in such a mess :eek: as I used to be extremely fussy and everything was always in pristine order. I know she won't mind in the slightest and it's me she's coming to see, not my flat, but I can't help panicking over it. Plus, my bed has been buried under piles of clothes and clean laundry for months and I've been sleeping on the sofa all this time, so I haven't even got anywhere for her to sleep at the moment.

The other reason I need to do something now is that I'm desparate to move and have recently applied to a HA, as there's very little suitable property available privately round here, and although I know I could be waiting some time there's always a chance they might find something quickly due to my circumstances. If that happened there's no way I could cope with trying to pack everything and sort out all the clutter, so I need to start getting prepared because I don't want to move it all on to the next home and end up in the same situation.

The trouble is I just don't know where to start and I'm getting more and more depressed each day looking at it all and tearing my hair out with the stress at being stuck here like this. I don't have any family or friends locally to help out and my eldest two boys are worse than useless if I ask them for any help so I'm stuck on my own to try and sort all this out, which makes it almost impossible with being housebound on top of it all.

Sorry for rambling on so much but I just can't cope with it any longer and don't have anywhere else to turn :(

[Savvy_Sue]

Oh dear C-Q, what a state you're in! Keep on with telling yourself it's YOU your friend is coming to see, and why not warn her now that things have got on top of you? Maybe she'll give you a hand with a few things?

But yes, there are people who will come in and help you, I've sometimes seen adverts down our local shops. Although I'm also doing a bit of lateral thinking here: is it worth asking your GP if he is aware of any 'home help' type services you could access? Or do you have a Social Worker? Because they might be able to help you access extra help. It's a shame you're too young to approach Help the Aged or Age Concern or anyone like that! :D

Is the Flylady site any good for you? Doing little bits at a time, that kind of thing.

And I seem to remember you have a 12yo son at home? If I'm right, I know it's hard but make sure he helps you with the day to day stuff. I don't wash up any more: there are five fit young men - OK, 2 of them are 40+ but they're all younger than me! :D - around the house, so why should I fall asleep at the sink? Cooking, washing up, cleaning the bathroom and laundry are ALL within his capabilities, so leave at least one of them for him to do each day while you do something that's beyond him, like sorting out the piles of paper which breed in every house I live in! If I'm wrong and you're all alone, be very nice to yourself. Use paper plates. Eat ready meals if you like them (bought on special offer from the supermarket, of course). Give up ironing, if you haven't already.

Oh! Are you a council tenant at the mo? If you are, contact your Housing Officer and ask if she can get you any help: I know it may sound daft, but your support needs should be assessed and help found for you.

Good luck, we'll all be rooting for you! Well it's got to be better than sorting out our own messes, hasn't it? :rotfl:

BTW, a friend came round the other day with several large carrier bags of things surplus to her requirements which she thought I might like to sort through to see what would be useful to us at work, and what wasn't useful to go to the next Scout Jumble Sale. Well, I managed to not only do that, but also do a 'shoe cull' of the porch and part of the hallway! One bag of stuff gone into work, four bags waiting for the Scouts! Result!

[Turning_into_scrooge]

Not sure how much help this will be...................but I find I'm best off de-cluttering when I'm pre-menstrual. I'm far more ruthless about what I chuck out for some reason :confused: I've recently thrown out things I've previously hung onto for over 15 years. Feels good and I haven't regretted chucking anything yet!!

I'm good at chucking things out when its a nice sunny day :T . gives me a bit of get up and go lol Got to the point recently where the dogs started hiding, i think she thinks shes going the bin too :rotfl:

[Curry Queen]

Oh dear C-Q, what a state you're in! Keep on with telling yourself it's YOU your friend is coming to see, and why not warn her now that things have got on top of you? Maybe she'll give you a hand with a few things?

I know deep down she won't be the slightest bit bothered if the place isn't tip top clean and tidy, and yes she may well help me out with taking some stuff to the recycle bins and charity shops if I asked. Even better would be if there happened to be a local car boot sale on while she was here LOL! I'd feel terribly guilty asking though as this will be her few days off from a very busy job and she'll be travelling half way across the country to see me :o ... saying that if the roles were reversed I'd be more than happy to do that for her ;)


But yes, there are people who will come in and help you, I've sometimes seen adverts down our local shops. Although I'm also doing a bit of lateral thinking here: is it worth asking your GP if he is aware of any 'home help' type services you could access? Or do you have a Social Worker? Because they might be able to help you access extra help. It's a shame you're too young to approach Help the Aged or Age Concern or anyone like that! :D

:rotfl: @ the Age Concern ... I might not be that old but I certainly feel it right now!

I haven't had any contact with my GP or support worker for more than 6 mths now so they don't know how bad things have got for me again, and I'm very reluctant to call either of them for various reasons. I'm not sure I'd qualify for any sort of "home help" as I remember looking into that when my leg was in plaster for 6 mths and nothing was available then, despite being completely immobile.

I think I'll be better looking to the private sector and paying for the services of a professional company to come in and help out, although I've no idea where to start looking or whether they'd be able to help with some of things I need doing. Even thinking ahead to when I finally move out, I know there are removal companies that will come and pack everything and move it for you but to be honest I think even they'd feel overwhelmed to know where to start :o

Just thinking for a moment ... most of my problem seems to stem from the fact I can't move any of the "junk" that I've decided I don't need/want anymore out of my flat so it's all sitting around in boxes making the place look even more cluttered than it should! For instance, I finally got my son's room sorted out a few weeks ago but now I have several items that need throwing out, plus a box full of stuff to recycle, sitting in the living room taking up valuable space. That's on top of the boxes of kitchenalia that I cleared out before xmas ready to go to charity. I ask my ex every week if he can take some of it away for me but he's always too busy and it took him long enough just to take 10 black bags of clothes to the recycling bank for me despite driving past it every day :mad:

It doesn't help that I've got so much stuff to start with, a lot of which could probably be sold or sent to charity (I'm only holding onto it for sentimental reasons, although some of it is fairly valuable) as I moved from a large 4-bed house with garage and sheds into a tiny 2-bed flat with no storage facility whatsoever. There isn't even a loft or cupboard I can stash anything out of sight. I've still got some furniture, a chest freezer and all my outdoor/garden stuff in storage, which fortunately isn't costing me anything, unless the ex has sold it all off :rolleyes:


And I seem to remember you have a 12yo son at home? If I'm right, I know it's hard but make sure he helps you with the day to day stuff.

Yes, he still lives here with me and he is pretty good at helping out when I ask him. I don't like to put too much on him in the way of housework as he already runs all the errands for me, and it's his job to put out the rubbish every week as I can't manage heavy bags on the stairs. He is basically my primary carer, which is a lot for a 12 year old to take on, and when my middle son was in that position he resented having to do so much for me (was also one of the reasons he moved out) and often throws it back in my face, so I'm always wary of asking too much of my youngest now.


Oh! Are you a council tenant at the mo? If you are, contact your Housing Officer and ask if she can get you any help: I know it may sound daft, but your support needs should be assessed and help found for you.

No, I'm in private rented but I've recently applied to the local Housing Association for help with re-housing, as this place is totally unsuitable for me and is actually causing my health to suffer rather then get better. I'm still awaiting a decision as to whether I'll be placed on the waiting list and I have no idea how often property becomes available here. Other than that my only option is to rent privately again and I thought I'd found somewhere recently, but it turned out that the agents had made an error with the room sizes on the webpage and it was actually smaller than what I'm in currently, plus there was no outdoor access with the only entrance door opening directly onto the street again, which is no good for me, plus they wanted £200 a month more in rent!!!! :eek:


Good luck, we'll all be rooting for you! Well it's got to be better than sorting out our own messes, hasn't it? :rotfl:

Thanks! :) ... it's always good to have a distraction from our own messes and is one of the reasons I spend so much time on here LOL! I've always said that if I spent half the time doing housework that I spend online I'd have a sooper dooper clean home, but it's not all about time (I got plenty of that!!!) it's having the energy and motivation to do it also :o


BTW, a friend came round the other day with several large carrier bags of things surplus to her requirements which she thought I might like to sort through to see what would be useful to us at work, and what wasn't useful to go to the next Scout Jumble Sale. Well, I managed to not only do that, but also do a 'shoe cull' of the porch and part of the hallway! One bag of stuff gone into work, four bags waiting for the Scouts! Result!

Excellent!!! :T

It does make you feel better when you achieve something like that, no matter how small. I think maybe I should invest in one of these cross shredders as that would solve the problem of the mountain of paperwork I've got, which I can't just throw out cos of ID theft etc, and maybe it's time I also shredded all my college and uni work as the boxes of files are taking up a whole shelving unit in my bedroom that I could use for something more essential ;) ... it will kill me to do that but what on earth do I need to keep them all for, some of which are more than 10 years old!!! :o

I feel a bit better having got it all off my chest now, so thanks for listening, and apologies to anyone I've bored with my rambling :o

[elona]

Curry Queen

Could you phone a couple of the charity shops and explain the situation - perhaps someone could collect stuff.

Could you phone Social services and see if they know of a way to get stuff collected?

Best of luck and take care of yourself :grouphug:

[Curry Queen]

Curry Queen

Could you phone a couple of the charity shops and explain the situation - perhaps someone could collect stuff.

Could you phone Social services and see if they know of a way to get stuff collected?

Best of luck and take care of yourself :grouphug:



Thanks :)

That's certainly something I need to check out and I know of one charity at least that will collect, for example, large items of furniture if you ask them, but not sure about boxes of smaller items. The problem is that most of the charities are based some distance from where I live and I'm not sure they'd come as far out as me to collect anything, but I can certainly ask them. It may well be that they wait till they have a few items to collect in a certain area and do them all together or something :confused:

[elona]

Curry Queen

Could you absent mindedly put smaller items in bags and store inside larger items of furniture that are about to be collected?

At least it would free up some space (and if you forget about that and they get picked up anyway it is no loss)

[Curry Queen]

Curry Queen

Could you absent mindedly put smaller items in bags and store inside larger items of furniture that are about to be collected?

At least it would free up some space (and if you forget about that and they get picked up anyway it is no loss)

Heh, d'ya think i've not already gone down this route ;)

I don't actually have any "furniture" to get rid of at the moment (apart from an old broken wardrobe that would be better off at the tip but is still jam packed with clothes and boxes!) but I do have an extremely large vivarium that I want to sell (not something a charity would take) but I can't as it's also jam-packed with boxes and bags of stuff that I shoved in there out of sight after I re-homed the very large snake that used to live in there :D

It also needs dismantling to get it out of the flat and down the stairs, as it was built in situ, so would need to be emptied in any case :rolleyes:


I've a feeling I'm a lost cause :o

[seese]

I wish I lived next door to you,I love clearing out.
I also have different methods for different occasions!
I used to encourage the children to clear their rooms by allowing them to drop anything they didnt want out of the window,that was always a success.
Have you considered hiring a skip?Put a note on it saying help yourself.
Contact the local scouts and ask if they would like to make a few trips up and down the stairs for a donation.
All the best with moving I hope you get what you need.

[Curry Queen]

Have you considered hiring a skip?


Great idea and something I wish I could do but I'd have to apply to the LA or Highways dept for permission, not to mention arrange suitable lighting and public liability insurance etc as it would be on a very busy public street (shopping area), even if they allowed it anyway, so not really a feasible option :(

This is also a major stumbling block when it comes to putting out rubbish for collection as the rules are such that only black bin liners are allowed (no cardboard/boxes/household rubbish) with a limit on how many can be put out, and they can only be placed outside after 7pm on the evening prior to collection (usually around 6am) or heavy fines are levied. On occasions when I've forgotten I've had to keep the bags of rubbish in my kitchen for an extra week and there's barely room for the 2-3 bags we generate over a normal week anyway (I cheat and tear up boxes to put in the bags sometimes ;) )

Anyway, I've decided to make a start by making a list of the most urgent stuff to do, and also set a time period of 10 mins or so to complete each task. I also remember reading somewhere about labelling 3-4 boxes as keep, charity, sell and throw away (or something like that) and I'm going to email a couple of charities this afternoon to find out if they can collect any of the stuff. I'm also going to write out a card with a few things to sell and get DS to take it up to the PO when he gets home to stick on their notice board. I don't know why I didn't think of that before actually :rolleyes:


Thanks for all your suggestions and support :A ... it really has been a great help, if only to re-focus on how I can tackle this sensibly instead of panicking over trying to do it all in one go. Guess I'm a bit of an all-or-nothing kinda girl and I need to re-think my approach :o

[Savvy_Sue]

Oh good CQ I'm glad you've had a few thoughts on where to start. You're right about your son, it's not fair to put too many demands on them, I just don't think it's unreasonable for my layabouts to do the washing up!

I wish I could think how the people who come in and help you declutter describe themselves. Life laundry? I know there are people who'll do anything you can't / don't want to. Next time I'm in the local shops I'll scan the ads and see if it gives me any ideas of what to google for. You could advertise, of course, but there are risks in that.

I carefully filled my boot with Jumble and drove it round to the Scout hut tonight, and they weren't there! Grrr. If I can't catch them later - got to go out again - I'll email them and ask them to pick it up! It's now five bags - I found another stash of grown-out-of shoes...

[Savvy_Sue]

I wish I lived next door to you,I love clearing out.WHERE DO YOU LIVE? Watch out, you may get trampled in the rush. :rotfl:(Feel free not to answer that question if you'd rather not!)

Some good ideas there: hadn't thought of using the window to clear the boys' bedroom ... I'm sure the youngest would love a shredder as well, at least until the novelty wears off.

[elona]

How about phoning environmental health people and explaining the problems that rubbish collection etc is giving you and "that it is affecting your health"

Maybe they could think of something?

[Savvy_Sue]

CQ, another idea if you can find some money to pay someone for some of this work is to talk to your son and ask if he would like to help you with what he is capable of in exchange for either money or a treat or something like that. If he knows he can refuse I feel that takes the pressure off him a bit, and they're all different, he may prefer to keep the money 'in the family', or to have his free time! With half-term coming up that may be a good time to tackle some jobs with him. Just an idea - have sent my youngest out to cut the grass today, he's the only son not to have developed hayfever from this task, so fingers crossed! He gets paid very generously for this job, that's a reflection of how much I DON'T want either me or DH to have to do it! But washing up isn't a paid job in this house: do it or ELSE!

[Curry Queen]

Oh good CQ I'm glad you've had a few thoughts on where to start.


It's just a shame I can't make those thoughts become reality though :(

You've all given me some great advice and suggestions which I appreciate very much and I started making plans on how to tackle it all but that's as far as I've got. I haven't even been able to make a list yet of things that need doing, let alone contact any of the charities and so forth.

What's making everything so much worse is that I'm also struggling to even do the daily chores now. I've got washing up sitting there from 3 days ago, DS's school uniform is still in the wash basket which he needs tomorrow and as embarrassed as i am to admit it, I haven't had a bath/shower or changed my clothes in several days :o

I didn't even notice the cats needed food and water till they almost tripped me up rubbing round my legs and making me follow them to the kitchen this morning. I'm just glad DS has been away this weekend or I doubt I'd even have had the energy to feed him so it would have been back to take-aways again, which is something I resorted to before the weekend too.

So why not get my fat a$$ off the computer and get on with it? I try and end up wandering around looking at it all before bursting into tears and climbing back under the duvet on the sofa. I'm sat here in tears now writing this as somehow admitting I'm not coping makes it all real and I'm struggling to put on that mask and pretend none of it is happening, even online.

I look around these four walls and detest being here, it's become my prison and I can't escape, and part of me just wants to smash it all up but then I'd have even more mess to clear up and probably get evicted too just to make matters worse. I just don't know what to do anymore :(

[moggins]

!!!!!!!!!!!!{CQ}}}}}}}}

I know you've already said you don't want to go back to your doctor but maybe it's time hun? I recognise all of my past self in what you've written and I know how hard it is and how you feel that no one truly understands.

There is one thing you can do though, give yourself a break! Nothing in life lasts forever, you may feel like this at the moment but one day you'll wake up and that cloud will seem a little smaller and the world a little brighter.

The trouble is that the task seems so huge and the problems insurmountable, babysteps! If you can just find the energy set yourself one tiny little job that won't take more than 10 minutes to accomplish, if you can manage just that then it is a major accomplishment.

If you were only close to me then I'd be round to help out in a flash, little car with huge boot to the rescue :D It's done so many trips to the tip lately that it knows the way all by itself :D

[elona]

:A Curry Queen

I agree with Moggins - you are overwhelmed and need help - please, please see your doctor.

Try to think survival - you do not have to do everything - even one or two little things that have to be done would help clear your load.

I just wish all the people you have helped could be there to physically help you.

Big hug and there are a lot of us thinking of you :A

[Savvy_Sue]

:grouphug: to CQ. :A and your cats think so too, and on a good day so does your son even if he doesn't show it.

But I agree with moggins, it may be time to see GP again. If only to see what extra help you need. Let's hear it for CQ - you're worth more than this! You're not a complete failure! We love you!

[Sofa_Sogood]

There is one thing you can do though, give yourself a break! Nothing in life lasts forever, you may feel like this at the moment but one day you'll wake up and that cloud will seem a little smaller and the world a little brighter.

The trouble is that the task seems so huge and the problems insurmountable, babysteps! If you can just find the energy set yourself one tiny little job that won't take more than 10 minutes to accomplish, if you can manage just that then it is a major accomplishment.



And housework isn't the be all and end all, unless it gets you down.

Curry_Queen, moggins understands. But do what you want to do for you. And for your best interests.

I'd say spend 10 minutes on yourself each day: it's not much is it? Starting with a shower. A bath takes too long. Maybe 15 minutes on housework, for starters too? Empty a kitchen drawer.

Set aside time for this forum and time for yourself. I say this forum because I can't see anything to beat it. Don't worry that you'll miss anything - send your e-mail add to someone you can trust whilst you're cleaning, bathing, kicking the pc ;), but understand that time for yourself is worth more than time spent here. I know by experience.

I know how you're placed I think, so keep the pc on with this place (and others if necessary), in the background. The world does NOT revolve around forums with C_Q in them, so you shouldn't let your world revolve around them.

But read your PM's, ring your doctor/nurse/anyone.

Just don't carry on like this. Please?

And don't worry. No-one that I know has ever died because their house is upside down. But they do when they get stressed out.

Take care ok?

xxx

[chinagirl]

All I can add to this is
A: Get angry with the clutter. Throw everything out, so what if you overdo it, possessions are replaceable.
B: Don't bother trying to separate things, when your in a situation like that, its survival that counts. Throw everything out. Bin everything.

I know this seems harsh, but you have gone past the separate/sell/charity stage, its time to get down to business and "make like a JCB". The reward of clearing and enlarging your living space will far out-weigh any potential money earnings and you wont have to hang on to bags of stuff until you sell etc.


GET ANGRY !
GAIN CONTROL !
( It works for me)

[Sofa_Sogood]

All I can add to this is
A: Get angry with the clutter. Throw everything out, so what if you overdo it, possessions are replaceable.
B: Don't bother trying to separate things, when your in a situation like that, its survival that counts. Throw everything out. Bin everything.

I know this seems harsh, but you have gone past the separate/sell/charity stage, its time to get down to business and "make like a JCB". The reward of clearing and enlarging your living space will far out-weigh any potential money earnings and you wont have to hang on to bags of stuff until you sell etc.


GET ANGRY !
GAIN CONTROL !
( It works for me)

I know this is meant for C_Q chinagirl, but just to sling in a curve ball, what about stuff that's brand new and there's no room for it?

I've taken up a bedroom with 'bargains', and that room's needed. so another room suffers etc. I'm overloaded with stuff that's still in boxes and brand new.

eBay should be the answer - but some of it was from eBay :o

Is it a case where some of us just need space?

I can see the answer to C_Q's problems - like 'sling it', 'give it away', 'let go' and all that, but is it just something to do with collecting things and not letting go of anything maybe?

It's bewildering, it really is.

I just want my space back.

P.S. I'm 'angry' at my brand new stuff. How do I kick the hell's bells out of it?

[elona]

Sofasogood

This may seem obvious- but are we really talking about storage?

Under bed,top of wardrobes - in empty unused wardrobes etc. Would cheap or homemade shelving let you pile everything high and then let you use the room.

If you have high ceilings then shelves above the door can be out of sight and hold some stuff.

Old suitcases can be filled then piled on top of each other - label as you go.

If this does not help then sorry and good luck.

Is the stuff temporary or permanent - for pressies or sale etc?

[Curry Queen]

Hi

Sorry I've not been around the last few days and thanks for all the lovely messages of support, you're all truly wonderful :A

I think Sofa_Sogood may well have hit the nail on the head with the following comment ... (who needs psychologists eh LOL!)


I can see the answer to C_Q's problems - like 'sling it', 'give it away', 'let go' and all that, but is it just something to do with collecting things and not letting go of anything maybe?


I've had so much loss in my life over the last few years ... my family, my husband, my two eldest children, my home and also the deaths of my mother, my horse (who was also my best friend) and several friends fairly recently ... that maybe I have a deep-rooted psychological need to hang on to what little I have left. I know this is a bit deep for so early in the morning and I'm only on my second :coffee: but when I read that it was like I'd been hit over the head with a sledge hammer and I had one of those sudden "light-bulb" moments! :o

Having said that, I'm still not sure of the best way to tackle it all but having some idea of what's behind it all does help I guess.

Onwards and upwards as they say .....

[aliasojo]

Just thought I'd pop back in to say hello again. :D

Forgot about this thread until I saw it in the 'new posts' bit, lol.

C_Q, ditto everything that has been said before. Regardless of situation, I do think main thing is not to beat yourself up - if you do, then you just end up even more stressed and even less able to cope.

I think a happier frame of mind is required first, then coping will follow.

Thanks to the link that was posted earlier in the thread to the Squalor site, I finally understand something that's puzzled me for years. :D I am a complete perfectionist. I also have a messy house. Two two always seemed to be in direct contradiction to each other. After reading this little excerpt, I now get it!

If I'm a perfectionist, wouldn't my house be perfectly clean?

Perfectionism gets in the way of our priorities by causing us to focus on insignificant details instead of the big picture.

We spend an entire morning polishing the silver to a blinding shine, oblivious to the general condition of the house deteriorating around us.

Until someone knocks at the door, that is. Then we become painfully aware.

Important tasks vs. less important tasks

Say you have a pile of shirts sitting around not getting ironed.

The non-Perfectionist recognizes this is a less-important task (to her) and takes 5 minutes to hang them up in the wardrobe - unironed.

"Terrible idea," says the Perfectionist. "Clothes shouldn't be put away until ironed and starched and hung on coat hangers (ideally, padded with lavender sachets attached.) While I'm at it, I should iron the recycled giftwrap..."

Perfectionism leads to procrastination

That's hours and hours of do-your-best nonsense, such a daunting thought that the Perfectionist finds reasons to put off actually doing the ironing.

Both Perfectionist and non-Perfectionist have unironed shirts. But the non-Perfectionist has a better looking house.


Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials. Lin Yutang


(http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/overcoming/perfectionism.shtml#top)

Perfectionism leads to indecision

Perfectionists may also have problems with decision making, searching for the one perfect solution to a situation rather than choosing from a variety "less perfect" possibilities.


Perfectionism is self abuse of the highest order. Anne Wilson Schaef


The first and last are me to a T (as those who helped me on my washing machine thread will know :o ).


At the moment, I have no bedroom (due to renovation - floor, everything up). My new bedroom furniture is stacked in the Dining Room so we're eating off our knees again. My clothes have no home and are tastefully draped across....well, everywhere really. We have to climb over packs of flooring in the hall and there are DIY tools in every nook and cranny. Even the kids are getting stressed and their rooms are unaffected!

This is all on top of the usual mess, lol!

I want to move out. :D

[elona]

Curry Queen

You are back :j :j :j


We have been worried about you pet! Hope you are feeling a bit better.

Instead of feeling that something is being taken from you and that you are losing it - could you reframe your thoughts so that you feel that you are generously giving to someone out there who really needs and will appreciate the stuff - also that you are giving yourself the gift of space and freedom from the clutter.


Please try to do something for yourself - you deserve it.

Now you are back I am sure there will be a lot more messages trying to get through to you.

Welcome back :A

[needmoney]

Curry_Queen, ALL BEST WISHES TO YOU your posts are alwyas interesting and often make me smile, do take great care of yourself x

[Curry Queen]

Thankyou again :A

Aliasojo - thanks so much for posting those quotes, they really brought a smile to my face :) ... yes I'm also one of life's perfectionists and if a job can't be done properly then it aint worth doing at all ;) ... which is probably why I've ended up in this mess in the first place as I spend far too many hours procrastinating instead of just getting on with it :o

The ironing one in particular made me laugh as yes, I have piles of un-ironed clothes sitting around and cluttering up the place as I can't bear to put them in draws/wardrobes un-ironed, but guess what ... I no longer do the ironing so that means they never get put away LOL!

Talking of clothes ... my bed has been buried beneath piles of "ironing" for the last 6mths and I've been sleeping on the sofa, so yesterday I finally sorted through the lot and now have my pile sat on the floor in front of the wardrobe, DS's pile sat on his spare bed and a couple more bags for recycling/charity :D ... maybe I should try putting them into the wardrobes next :rotfl:

And .... I actually slept in my own bed last night and didn't wake up with back ache this morning!!!! :o

I've set myself the small task today of going through a chest of drawers and throwing out old underwear/night clothes etc ... some of which dates back to my teenage years!!!! ... so that I can actually put away some of the stuff from the floor.

I also have a cunning plan to block up the entrance door with bags of rubbish/recycling so when my ex turns up tonight to collect DS he'll have to remove them to get in and hopefully deposit them in appropriate bins on his way home :D (he has got a van after all!!!)


This girl aint beat yet ... she may be down but she certainly aint out :D


And not only that ... but I've missed you all http://img120.echo.cx/img120/820/grouphug4po.gif

[Fran]

Hi Curry_Queen and other clutterers and hoarders......

I've finally got round to reading (a lot of) this thread. There's so much info on here! CQ - sounds good.. any tidying has got to help and make you feel better.

I was going to quote people but there's so many things said, here's just a few of my thoughts.....

I've hoarded stuff since having kids and carried stuff round while moving three times over the past 15 years. It's not that I haven't chucked stuff out, I have, but there was just so much of it. On the last but one move I decided NOT to use the loft, so everything had to be in the house. Trouble was that there were plenty of cupboards to store in. On the last move, there aren't cupboards and spaces, I still haven't used the loft and have stuff in the rooms. On the last-but-one move I tried to do everything at once and ended up with a virus I couldn't recover from for about 3 months, so for the last move took it slower. This is finally paying off... it's taken four years altogether.

I try to do things that bug me most and don't worry if I don't do it, only when feel like it.

I don't care about other people's clutter but for some reason think they will care about mine.

I clean/tidy if someone's coming round as though they'd notice this subtle difference.... they didn't know what it was like before!

I use thinking about the clutter and how I might organise it as an excuse not to think about more important things.

I remember going to my parents' house after I'd left home and thinking how tidy it was... not that I ever noticed or thought it was untidy! It then dawned on me that it was us kids that had caused most of the mess. :confused:

Have your kids genetically tested for clutterness. I've got 2 messy and 2 tidy kids. Get reject-a-clutterer sperm detector.

Don't let your son talk you into getting a dog, unless you want your plant stock and furniture reducing. (Ok until it gets to essential items like your settee and socks are always a favourite with puppies.)

Don't sit on this site when you should be doing something else anyway. Bye!

[Savvy_Sue]

Congratulations on getting back into your bed! :beer::j:A:T I could probably find a few more if I had time right now! Hopefully without the backache you'll be able to tackle that chest of drawers: which reminds me my undies drawer is full of socks which aren't quite worn out but which I never wear any more because I've bought new ones! Glove puppets for the local school, hopefully!

[crutches]

you are all so inspiring!
Yesterday,during my "rest" in bed I filed 2 boxes away in my new file while i waited for the painkillers 2 work.Its a start?
hopefully now the paperwork is filed i can find things for the debt thread lol.!
can't see the rest of my house but have grouped all plant pots together in garden to have somewhere pretty to sit away from mess,recycling,compost and kids bikes.!
now off to wash up...we've used everything and the picnic sets(8 of us!)

[Sofa_Sogood]

Sofasogood

This may seem obvious- but are we really talking about storage?

Under bed,top of wardrobes - in empty unused wardrobes etc. Would cheap or homemade shelving let you pile everything high and then let you use the room.

If you have high ceilings then shelves above the door can be out of sight and hold some stuff.

Old suitcases can be filled then piled on top of each other - label as you go.

If this does not help then sorry and good luck.

Is the stuff temporary or permanent - for pressies or sale etc?

Hi elona :)

I've been wondering for a while why this thread was placed in the Health Section of the board, but I think I realise why now. Hoarding (and shopping), probably is a sort of illness. Not life-threatening of course (unless I fall over and drown in all the bubble wrap I've accumulated and saved 'just in case')

It's a storage problem and a spending problem. If I emininate the last one, I'll be able to tackle the first one :D, but because we downsized, there's just a serious lack of storage space. Actually, there isn't - I'm just in denial. :o I just haven't had the heart to ditch stuff, and because I found myself with extra money - I seem to have gone mad with the spending habit.

But it's got to stop now. A parcel arrived a couple of days ago and not only did I mentally groan about it, I didn't even bother to open it!

I'd better stick a :D in somewhere or people would think I've gone mad, or got more money than sense.

It's all brand new stuff meant for presents etc, but I've bought shoes, bags, brollies, and I never go out! How mad is that? I've even bought suitcases that I don't need because they were a 'bargain'. I buy 'bargains' for everyone in the family ... they're not bargains if I'm giving them away though are they? To top it all, the last time I went shopping I ended up buying some pictures that my daughter had donated to Scope the week before.:rotfl: It's mad isn't it?

But thanks to your post, and others, I'm going to tackle it today.

Six months ago I had a lot of stuff but at least it was all tidied away. Now I'm climbing over boxes and can't even reach the cupboards, but if I could, I'd never get any more stuff in them. Luckily they're upstairs where most people never go (good job really :))

I can't put shelves or anything above doors, but thanks for the suggestion. Can't put anything above the wardrobes either, they're all floor to ceiling, and the beds are the type that go to the floor with a minute amount of storage space.

What I can do is have a clear out. Because my weight yoyo's I seem to have 6 of everything, in 6 different sizes ;), so I'll start with the smallest sizes.

I've already listed all my books on Green Metropolis and packed them away in a nice Laura Ashley storage box that doubles up as a side table. Hasn't solved the problem, but it's a start. Then I'm going to empty out the cupboard under the stairs, take out the shelves that hold even more junk, and replace them with second hand filing cabinets. At least I know they'll store stuff without the bottoms dropping out ;).

And I'm staying away from eBay lol. If I have an urge to buy anything soon, I'll make sure I've got room for it/need it first.

I hope ;)

Thanks again.

P.S. The worst part about it all is that I'm a 'filing' nutcase. I file everything in order like a woman possessed. But I don't know how to file gifts and 'bargain's :D

I think the charity shops might have a field day next week lol.

[chinagirl]

Hi Sofa sogood.
I see your problem, but really the level on which you deal with it depends on how deeply the clutter is affecting the rest of your life. For instance, in your case, it may pay to just shut the door on it for now, then try re-selling it on Ebay. However, if you feel you are at the 'desparate, drowning under it all' stage, my initial advice still stands, sling-it! (bag it ALL up for charity, if that would make you feel better about letting it go).

[Sofa_Sogood]

Hi Sofa sogood.
I see your problem, but really the level on which you deal with it depends on how deeply the clutter is affecting the rest of your life. For instance, in your case, it may pay to just shut the door on it for now, then try re-selling it on Ebay. However, if you feel you are at the 'desparate, drowning under it all' stage, my initial advice still stands, sling-it! (bag it ALL up for charity, if that would make you feel better about letting it go).

Thanks chinagirl. It doesn't really affect my life as such .... I just dread the thought of friends needing to stay - I'd have nowhere to put them! :o

I'm going to spend another weekend sorting it all out. I've become an eBay buying addict, listed books to sell on Green Metroplis whilst still buying them on eBay. Bought some fantastic bargains, which wouldn't have been a problem at all if we hadn't downsized. It just gets me down.

I blame this site I really do. There's so many bargains posted etc, for which I'm grateful, but it's addictive. I'm a spendaholic with no space :(

But I've got a great sister-in-law who just loves doing car boot sales. She's made a small fortune at it, and has offered to help me by selling some of my better stuff :)

I'll bag up all the clothes for dumping first, (better that way than hope they come back into fashion lol) charity shops second, and clothes for shops where you get approx half your money back (forgotten what they're called now - bit like nearly new). The rest I'll have to slim into or wear :)

As for cd's, books, VHS and dvd stuff - eBay! :D When I can work it out and have the courage to do it! lol

Thanks again. I feel better just typing that. :)

[weatherwax]

What a brilliant thread and boy do I empathise with every post! The trouble is, I could'nt stop reading so I've just worked my way through the entire thread and now have a stiff neck. :eek:

Now if I can just locate the entrance to the tunnel I excavated through my clutter I might find the Deep Heat........:D

[Savvy_Sue]

Sofa, you need the Ebay song, which has a link from this thread (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=7031&page=1&pp=10&highlight=ebay+song).

And maybe you need to ask your DH to look after your credit card during the day? to stop you buying any more stuff until you've got space for it?

[Sofa_Sogood]

Sofa, you need the Ebay song, which has a link from this thread (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=7031&page=1&pp=10&highlight=ebay+song).

And maybe you need to ask your DH to look after your credit card during the day? to stop you buying any more stuff until you've got space for it?

I still haven't got my sound back after a spillage on the keyboard :( but I've heard the eBay song :D

Not sure giving the CC to Mr S would work either. I'm sure I memorised the number, yet I've never been able to memorise any of my mobile no's ;)

Most of the stores have my details anyway Sue; M&S, (two of :o ), Harrods, (honest!), even Boots I think, and what's easier than Paypal?

I'm just a spendaholic. Bit of a miserable one at the moment, but still working through my clear out, albeit it slowly :)

I'm sure the bulk of it's packaging, and I thought I was clever buying and wrapping this year's Christmas presents up in February. Someone did point out that it probably wasn't the best of ideas, and they were right. Unfortunately. :o

Oh well, when I'm skint and bored I'll unwrap them all and start again ;) (Wrapping that is - not buying!)

[Curry Queen]

Not sure giving the CC to Mr S would work either. I'm sure I memorised the number, yet I've never been able to memorise any of my mobile no's ;)



:rotfl: ... you're as bad as me!!!! I know my debit card details by heart but still learning my new credit card :D ... no idea what my mobile phone number is though :confused:

[Sofa_Sogood]

:rotfl: ... you're as bad as me!!!! I know my debit card details by heart but still learning my new credit card :D ... no idea what my mobile phone number is though :confused:

And the "Autofill" option's a bit too handy too :D

Glad i'm not alone - now all I need is a gold number for the mobile ;)

[catznine]

Sofa, you need the Ebay song, which has a link from this thread (http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=7031&page=1&pp=10&highlight=ebay+song).

And maybe you need to ask your DH to look after your credit card during the day? to stop you buying any more stuff until you've got space for it?

Thank you Savvy! I needed that am crying with laughter now and can't get song out of my head! :rotfl:

And yes I too spend far too much time shopping!

[bonnie]

ive done 3 bootfairs now and made 160 pound doing another one in 2 weeks,also sent 4 bags of clothing to africa.the less in your house the easier it is to clean in theory.i clean once a week and hoover if anyone comes round.which just leaves washing,dishes and rubbish to do every night the ironing once a week.i sell stuff to get new things i want.

[dag]

Wow! This thread has seriously mushroomed! :)

It's been a while since I posted to it. Or looked at it. Why? Because I was embarrassed about it.

I'm pleased that it's been so busy - it proves I'm not alone. Thanks, good people. (I've also just been through the thread and thanked some of the posts with specific info about other sources of help)

And I hope things work out okay for CurryQueen, we're rooting for you.

As for me - the issue of clutter is sort of coming to a head. I'm moving in a week's time, from a furnished studio flat to a one-bedroom unfurnished flat. With a garage. And a lift. I've rented a car.

And I've realised that I'll need furniture, and that the car I've rented won't be big enough to fit flat-packs from Ikea. So I'll have to get them to deliver anyway. Wish I'd rented a van now. Still - I'll get a van next time I move.

And I've got all this clutter that I don't need. Clutter is stacked up in folding crates against the wall, and the furniture is pushed back against it, making the clutter completely inaccessible unless I move the furniture.

Why have I arranged it like this? Because it's the top floor of a Victorian house, therefore the ceilings slope with the roof, and I have a wardrobe that's too tall to be pushed all the way into one corner. So the boxes of clutter are lined up behind it.

The wardrobe is the landlord's, by the way - not my own.

But the new flat is in a purpose built block, so the corners should all be square.

Oh - and that's not all. There's also piles of half-consumed food packets strewn over my kitchen surfaces, and piles of paper over all my tables. I have managed to empty four folding crates - there's only another 25-odd of them.

Of course - I could just throw all my stuff into boxes, and cart it all over to the new flat. Might take several car journeys, but that wouldn't be a problem. Far far too ashamed of my clutter to have anyone else help me, even though friends have offered.

So I'd prefer not to do that. I want to clear out as much as possible beforehand.

Aaargh! :eek:

I've read some of the articles about clutter at http://www.fastfengshui.com and they seem to make a lot of sense. And I'm very interested in that clutter free forever home coaching programme, for US$49. I tried using Google Local to look for feng shui clutter consultancy services in the South London area - they do exist - but they cost upward of £100 per hour. That's way too much for me.

The cognitive behavioural therapist that I was seeing as an NHS outpatient has now discharged me. Yes I have made lots of progress, but her speciality is drugs, not clutter. I feel like I've been able to talk about practically everything with her, apart from clutter - and I feel that unresolved clutter problems is the thing that's most likely to cause relapse - especially now, since I'm moving.

Then again, she can't really continue to see me because I'll be out of the catchment area. So if I want help with clutter on the NHS, I guess I'll have to register with a new GP after I've moved, and then try to get him to refer me to someone.

But I don't really rate my chances of getting specialist clutter help on the NHS. To say that I'm likely to take a drug overdose if I don't sort my clutter out very soon would be exaggerating it somewhat - however, I do want to sort the problem out before it gets that bad.

So I'm interested in freecycle, squalor survivors, and maybe getting a Tenancy Support Worker. I don't think there's a risk of me becoming emotionally dependent on a support group, if such a thing exists, because I've made friends at work and in the church, and I still get on fairly well with my relatives.

Right now I'm sipping camomile tea, trying to nurse a headache and a feeling of slight dizziness which I think might be caused by stress or anxiety. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm unlikely to have a major declutter before moving.

I've cancelled absolutely all of my social arrangements, and am wondering whether I'll end up taking time off work sick. I've already booked a week off as holiday so that I can move myself and my clutter.

Wish me luck. :o

[dag]

Here's a thought ....
Clearing away clutter is one of the most powerful, transformative aspects of Feng Shui. It is my experience that eliminating clutter and disorganization is the first step in creating good Feng Shui and energy flow. Without that step, all the bells and whistles, fountains and crystals are just adding to the confusion, rather than bringing in fresh Ch'i. This is the "entry level" into the beneficial results of Feng Shui and must not be skipped or ignored.

The basic principle here is that all things are alive with Ch'I or vital energy. Our clothes are alive, our books, furniture, artwork, clutter, dishes, everything is alive and talking to us. We want to surround ourselves with things (and people) who have a positive message for us. Often our clutter (those things we no longer need, want, love or use) has a negative message for us. For example, clothes that no longer fit seem to say, "You're too fat, you're too thin, you're not right." That's not a very empoweringmessage. Our aim is to surround ourselves with only those things we love, need, care for, have a home for, and hopefully empower us.
Wow - never thought of it that way before. But it makes sense. If something makes you stronger - keep it. If it doesn't, lose it. "Oh but it might come in handy one day" isn't good enough. And "but Aunt Mabel will be offended if I bin her gift" isn't good enough either. Only keep the things that do actually make your life better.

Course, saying it is one thing, but actually doing it is another. I know people talk of recycling things, donating things to charity shops, and selling things on Ebay or at carboots - but I think you mustn't get too carried away with that. Don't hang onto something on the offchance that you might be able to sell it on Ebay, if it's too hard for you to actually do it.

And don't hang onto something on the offchance that you might be able to recycle it if you don't have a car, and if it's too much to carry to the municipal recycling facilities.

The reason you've been hanging on to the stuff is because you believe that parting with it will be painful. So it's best to get the pain over as quickly as possible. Trying to recycle things sometimes only prolongs the pain. If you can recycle stuff - great - but if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it.

My headache is easing slightly.

[pink fairy]

There is a clutter clearer in East Midlands area who only charges £40ph If anyone wants the email address just PM me.

I am currently clearing all my own clutter and I suddenly realise where all the debt has come from :o

Getting it in your head that you do not these all these posessions is the first step to saving money in the long run.

Pink Fairy x

[HappySad]

Reading this thread and encouraged me to do some decluttering myself. I have gone to my magazine storage section and cleaned out about 1/3 of them. I have torn out the pages of the magazine I want to keep and thrown out the rest.

I have found that using my local library has almost completely stopped me from buying more and more books. Instead of buying a book I see if the library has a copy. I read it then return in to the library. I have also saved loads of money that way.

I have also been able to part with some if my not used often books.. by giving them to the library... that way I know that if I want to see the book again I can just borrow it from them. I keep a record of the books that I have bought using the Amazon.co.uk personal section to give a review on the books. All the books that I have read I review them on Amazon and when I want to see a list of all the books that I have read, I just go on line on this website.

I am finding it hard to part with my interia and self help books. I have loads of them.


I have now completed my books for the library and I have come up with nearly 30 books to donate!!! About 6 of them are brand new and hardly used. I have been waisting some of my money buying books that I have no time or interest in reading.

Now I have cleared away these books & magazines, I now have more space in by book case for the books & mags that I will be using.

[HappySad]

Hi Everyone again.
I used to be a great hoarder. I used to keep everthing. I am not so bad now and i can be quite ruthless in getting rid of things. What has helped me is my camera.

I used to not want to get rid of something because that item would have memories attached to it. So I would keep the bulky item to remind me of the past. now what I do is take a photo of that item and I can then give that thing away. The memory is now packaged in a photo in my photo album.

I also did not want to waste and throw my possesions away.. so I now give away my thing to charity and I now that someone will find a use for it.

I still keep loads of stuff... but now if I have lots of something I say to myself.."just keep one or two of these thing and get rid of the rest" For example I use to have all my Alevel, HND and degree notes & assignments with me in the loft. I wanted to be able to see all the hardwork that I used to do. So I said to myself just keep one item for each level of study to represent the hard work and the sort of work I did. This was easy and i end up keeping two items per level of study and recycling the rest of the paper.

[Fran]

HappySad,

I like your idea of the camera images. I could perhaps do that on a ruthless day, but when I come across things I have kept for years I think, well I've kept this for xxx years so it must mean a lot to me... I can't throw it away now! Must bear the photo thing in mind though for my next heartless/ruthless day!!

[Edinburghlass]

Dag, I haven't been into this thread for a while either and am still surrounded by a load of clutter. Reading your post about hanging onto things in the off chance you might carboot or ebay is me to a T, garden shed is full of such like stuff :o

I did join the local Recycle Group a couple of weeks ago and although I haven't posted anything it is interesting to see the goods that are snapped up straight away and usually they have to be picked up by whoever wants them.

So this coming week, all those pc bits and pieces, breadmaker, videos etc will be put up for recycling. Interesting one came through today for someone looking for 10, yes 10 toasters for use in a Fringe production at the Festival, no need for them to be working, lol.

Good luck with your move, I hope it goes well. Oh and I like that camera idea too!
http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon7.gif

[savvy]

It's all brand new stuff meant for presents etc, but I've bought shoes, bags, brollies, and I never go out! How mad is that? I've even bought suitcases that I don't need because they were a 'bargain'. I buy 'bargains' for everyone in the family ... they're not bargains if I'm giving them away though are they? To top it all, the last time I went shopping I ended up buying some pictures that my daughter had donated to Scope the week before.:rotfl: It's mad isn't it?

Six months ago I had a lot of stuff but at least it was all tidied away. Now I'm climbing over boxes and can't even reach the cupboards, but if I could, I'd never get any more stuff in them. Luckily they're upstairs where most people never go (good job really :))Oh my god you sound like my step mum!!! :eek: They have no room whatsoever to move in their house, wall to wall junk and bargains :rolleyes:



Luckily I'm not that bad.......................

[savvy]

...................but I am this bad!!!! :rolleyes:
Reading your post about hanging onto things in the off chance you might carboot or ebay is me to a T, garden shed is full of such like stuff :o
Only thing is, it's the attic not the shed!! And I really can't be @rsed to get up there and sort it out...............it's either too cold up there in winter or too hot in summer!!! ;):rolleyes:

[HappySad]

I have been doing some decluttering in my loft. I found 3 empty lever arch folderss... And it was only 3weeks ago I bought some lever arch folders.. So the lesson is to know what you own so that you are not spending extra money on something when you already have it.

[HappySad]

Well if you get visitors when you get home Savvy Sue, stick a duster in their hands - might as well be doing something apart from chattering ;)

Seriously, I'd like to buy a steamer and maybe a breadmaker. But I've looked in all the cupboards .... nowhere to put them!

Is there a site anywhere that helps you to downsize everything? What I mean is, for two people, it's not necessary to have 24 plates is there? Ditto for cups, glasses, cereal bowls etc.

And how many pans do two people need? That sort of thing. I'm sure there's a site somewhere, just can't think where to look.

Can anyone help please?


I am quite good on the kitchen front. I have one half cupbard (50cm wide) with all my plates, cups, glasses, saucers and bowls. There is also one cupboard (again 50cm wide) that has all the pots and pans. ONe pan/pot of each size needed. One draw with utensils like pizza cutter, knives, bottle opener etc. One basket for plastic containers and another container for plastic containers for my toddler son. Then one container on the sink for the cutlery. That it! I have an extremely small kitchen so I have no choice but to have a kitchen then only stores what is used and no more. :T

[Savvy_Sue]

Of course - I could just throw all my stuff into boxes, and cart it all over to the new flat. Might take several car journeys, but that wouldn't be a problem. Far far too ashamed of my clutter to have anyone else help me, even though friends have offered.Forget your pride and embarrassment, ask your friends to help NOW! Trust me, if you move that clutter, it will only clutter the new flat! Your friends won't think any the worse of you. Even the houseproud ones. Well, if they do they weren't true friends, you're better off without them.

I've cancelled absolutely all of my social arrangements, and am wondering whether I'll end up taking time off work sick. I've already booked a week off as holiday so that I can move myself and my clutter.Do you get any extra time off for 'removal of household'? Not all employers give it, but worth asking if yours does. And get your friends to help rather than taking time off sick!

Wish me luck. :oOh good luck! I've still got boxes not unpacked 5 years after we moved! And several of them are full of books, so don't even think of suggesting I just get rid of them, my DH will not part with books!

[HappySad]

Perfectionists may also have problems with decision making, searching for the one perfect solution to a situation rather than choosing from a variety "less perfect" possibilities.

:D


This is me to a "T". It took me years to choose a colour to paint my living room. I would choose a colour and then constantly change my mind because I wanted the "perfect colour" for my living room.

I am now a lot better. I will give myself a time limit and say to myself that nothing is perfect and I will just have to do my best to choose what I like. :T

[Judi]

Well, ive gone mad over the last couple of months either selling or chucking things i no longer will use, or no longer like anymore. I have been totally ruthless and my house looks a bit like those houses in the property prgrammes, you know, clutterfree and empty. I have put what ever is left in drawers, cupboard and drawers. Even the drawers and cupboards look sort of empty and now my house looks bare.:o Its easier to dust though.;)

I chucked or sold the stuff the kids wouldnt use, and they are just left with a handful of Playstation games, a few cds and the pc. Their room looks empty.

I think i have gone a bit overboard and anyone walking into the house would think we are poor.:whistle:

I am waiting for everyone in the house to complain.

[Edinburghlass]

Judi, do you fancy a week in Edinburgh at the beginning of July? You could attend the Live8 second concert at Murrayfield on 6th if you declutter and get rid of all my excess baggage while I am on holiday?

Free internet access thrown during your rest breaks? And can you feed the guinea pigs and cats while you are at it?

Well done girl, I am proud of you :A

[Judi]

Judi, do you fancy a week in Edinburgh at the beginning of July? You could attend the Live8 second concert at Murrayfield on 6th if you declutter and get rid of all my excess baggage while I am on holiday?

Free internet access thrown during your rest breaks? And can you feed the guinea pigs and cats while you are at it?

Well done girl, I am proud of you :A
Yeah well ive only got two pairs of trousers and a skirt in my wardrobe now. The others i either chucked cause i decided i didnt like them after all or because they didnt fit properly. I got loads of tops that i kept cause i liked them, but need to go shopping for trousers now.:o

[domestic goddess wanabee]

Hi

Sorry, havent had time to read all of this thread as am sneaking a peek whilst at work!
A couple of things come to mind - hope they havent appeared earlier. there is a support group you can subscribe to and get daily de cluttering motivational messages. Its The-Organiser-Lady-subscribe@yahoogroups.com to subscribe. I found a few of the tips useful.There are also some reading references available too.

Also re the reference to lifecoaching. i am a qualified life coach and trained through Newcastle College (I know this appeared earlier). The course is no longer funded sadly - it costs nearly £400 to do now, however do consider getting a life coach. I am not promoting myself necessarily as all of the coaches training to do the Coaching Diploma will be looking for clients to practice their coaching skills on, at no charge. certainly, I have successfully coached clients on decluttering.
If you want me to pass your details onto a trainee coach PM me with your email address and I will put you in touch.

Good luck

jackiexx

[HappySad]

I would think that moving houses/flats would be the best time to get ride of all your extra stuff. When my partner moved in with me he got rid of loads of stuff.

We have a friend who is a complete hoarder and his flat he cannot move because of the piles and piles of boxes. There is a narrow path in his living room and in his bedroom to walk but the rest is a endless tower of boxes (your know what I mean). Welll anyway this hoarding friend took home with him every single item that my partner did not want. Even the things that I would class as rubbish.. he took.

A year later we helped this hoarding friend to move flats .. I could not cope with him having so much stuff that were of no real value (that how I saw it)... I had to give up helping him move and went home and did a complete decluttering of my place to make me feel better.

[HappySad]

Well, ive gone mad over the last couple of months either selling or chucking things i no longer will use, or no longer like anymore. I have been totally ruthless and my house looks a bit like those houses in the property prgrammes, you know, clutterfree and empty. I have put what ever is left in drawers, cupboard and drawers. Even the drawers and cupboards look sort of empty and now my house looks bare.:o Its easier to dust though.;)

I chucked or sold the stuff the kids wouldnt use, and they are just left with a handful of Playstation games, a few cds and the pc. Their room looks empty.

I think i have gone a bit overboard and anyone walking into the house would think we are poor.:whistle:

I am waiting for everyone in the house to complain.


You have done really well. :A I wish I could do the same. My bathroom is completely empty and only have the things needed. Kitchen is almost OK but has a few not used much stuff over the cupboards that would be good for me to get rid of. Office, living room, bedroom and loft would need the sort of decluttering that you have done. OH I wish that I could do the same thing that you have done.

When I have decluttered I feel so much better afterwards with more space to move about and more space for my things. Just before my son was born I had to do some decluttering to make room for his cot, bedding, clothes, books and toys. I got rid of loads of stuff.

Now I want to get rid of more things. I want to convert the loft into another bedroom and so all the stuff in the loft will have to go.

[HappySad]

Judi,

What made you go decide to completely declutter your things in that way? Have you been a hoarder before? What motivated you? What do you say in your head to make you declutter so well? What is your secret?

Domestic Goddes Wanabee
I am thinking of doing the life coaching course at Newcastle. Would you recommend it? Or would you recommend doing it with someone else? Is it a distance learning course? I am based in London and would not be able to travel to Newcastle

[savvy]

I am waiting for everyone in the house to complain.Hey Judi..................has anyone yet??? I know mine would've done immediately!!! :rolleyes:

[andy88]

I am waiting for everyone in the house to complain.They'll be afraid to, in case you dump the rest of the stuff too :rotfl:

[Judi]

LOL, as yet no one has missed anything, although my 19 year old daughter asked me if i had chucked her favourite eyeshadow the other day. Unfortunately, i got the blame but i got an apology later when she found it in her handbag.

I must say, the majority of the stuff that is needed is well out of sight (but tidily and organised of course).

[Edinburghlass]

Sofa and Currie Queen, I need your help! Come out, come out wherever you are.

Today is the day I am going to start decluttering so I have started by re-reading some of this thread and am going to keep reading Judi's post until I get there. Car boot on Sunday and Freecycle the following week for whats left.

DD has started with her bedroom but unfortunately all that means is she takes out what she doesn't want and dumps it in the hall, then starts rifling back through it and decides maybe she does want to keep it after all :rolleyes:

aliasojo, three lots of ironing are lying around but unfortunately I am too much of a perfectionist to just put it into the wardrobe unironed so eventually it will have to be tackled...

[Sheel]

DD has started with her bedroom but unfortunately all that means is she takes out what she doesn't want and dumps it in the hall

That sounds like both of my daughters http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon8.gif Trouble is , I have to go through it before it's chucked out or given to charity as they've been known to throw things out that belong to me :mad:

Funny you should resurrect this thread as I was meaning to because I actually did some decluttering last weekend :eek:

I was quite good and threw out a lot of stuff , some that i'd been harbouring for many years , such as some 20 year old tennis magazines http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon11.gif Mr Sheel was doing it with me and he made me throw out items I was dithering over , although I kept a beady eye on what he was throwing out :rolleyes: To show how bad I am , I even keep stuff like boarding passes and car parking tickets from holidays http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon11.gif http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon11.gif http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon11.gif but i've chucked them now! I wouldn't chuck my younger daughter's hair that i've got in a plastic bag though or both my daughter's plastic armbands from the hospital when they were born http://img.moneysavingexpert.com/icons/icon10.gif

[aliasojo]

Hello again all my friendly messy people.:rotfl:

I've been very good lately and I'm much better at just chucking something out these days rather than keeping it. I also file as soon as statements etc come through the door which means no more messy piles of paper all over the place. (Having said that though I still have boxes of past papers that need sorting and filed etc that I can't face.)

I too need to car boot..........but I just dont want to. I've got loads of stuff but I wish someone would do it for me. I've decided we need to raise cash so I'm going to flog loads of my bargains that I've aquired over the last year along with my books. :eek: I said in a previous thread that I would never part with my books but needs must now I think.

Like someone said (snowy I think???) I've got stuff that gets given to other people.......I've spent hundreds on stuff for others! I'm going to keep the stuff earmarked for the kids Xmas pressies but the rest I'm going to car boot......I will! :D

Btw.....good luck with your clearing E.......but I don't believe you'll make it past the computer desk! :rotfl:

[Savvy_Sue]

DD has started with her bedroom but unfortunately all that means is she takes out what she doesn't want and dumps it in the hall, then starts rifling back through it and decides maybe she does want to keep it after all :rolleyes:Am I confusing you with someone else, or did this happen once before and you tripped over a rabbit hutch and broke your ankle?

aliasojo, three lots of ironing are lying around but unfortunately I am too much of a perfectionist to just put it into the wardrobe unironed so eventually it will have to be tackled...Well you could put it in a separate bit of the wardrobe just to get it out of the way. It can't hurt to hang it up unironed - as a non-ironer I always used to hang wet shirts and blouses onto hangers to dry and got away with that. Now I have a tumble drier I just try to get stuff out and hung as quick as possible. There is no need to iron!

[Edinburghlass]

Sadly it was me but it was guinea pig cages and a broken wrist :o

I'm not a fanatical ironer but I do admit to the fact that I have to do my own myself as no-one can do it as well as me and I don't iron everything but today I did manage to enthuse my daughter to iron her own and put it away.

That to me is the worst bit about ironing, like shopping I hate the putting away :rolleyes:

[Savvy_Sue]

Sadly it was me but it was guinea pig cages and a broken wrist :oRight body, wrong bit! But it was in the hall, wasn't it? Can't she pile it up neatly in the corner of her bedroom for now?

I'm not a fanatical ironer but I do admit to the fact that I have to do my own myself as no-one can do it as well as me and I don't iron everything but today I did manage to enthuse my daughter to iron her own and put it away.

That to me is the worst bit about ironing, like shopping I hate the putting away :rolleyes:I stopped putting my kids clothes away some time ago. It means the younger two usually have piles outside their bedroom door, and the eldest now transfers his laundry from his body, to a bag, to the washing machine and drier, and back to a pile of clean clothes on his chari. When he's out and I want to watch his TV, the clean clothes move to the bed, and he moves them back to the chair. His chest of drawers is empty apart from old clothes I doubt he'll wear again! They either don't fit, or they're just not 'him' any more, relics of the days when he would wear almost any colour, as long as it was plain, and it was the same colour from top to bottom! So red pants and socks went with red t-shirt, trousers and sweatshirt. Now it's any colour as long as it's black, navy or white, never mind the pants, and the socks with days of the week on can only be worn on the 'right' day! Sorting that lot out is another job for before he disappears to Uni!

[1sttimer]

I think you all sound great at de-cluttering :T . When we moved into this 5 bed house from a 3 bed house 25 years ago it looked very empty - in the intervening years we aquired 2 children (1 left/1 back from uni) and 1 dog - and in all that time I think we just brought things in and not replaced so now 5 bed house feels smaller than 3 bed house :eek: . Some very serious de-cluttering needed (perhaps starting with OH!)

[Sofa_Sogood]

Just taping a programme about storage called "Making Space" on Discovery Home & H

Not sure if it's any good (got busy on the forum ;) ) but might be worth a look?

[Curry Queen]

OMG!!! I'd forgotten all about this thread until I just got an email in my inbox from where I'd subscribed to it ... cheers Sofa :p :D

Well, I made a start on my de-cluttering last month and ex took away a van load of stuff to be trashed/burnt in his big skip :o

As some of you know, I should be moving any time soon so I really need to get my a$$ into gear and get some of this stuff sorted out! I have 3-4 big boxfuls of stuff to sell on Ebay, but still not got around to listing them, and time is running out :eek:

My only saving grace will be that I'll have a spare room to stash stuff, possibly for a few weeks/months, when I move but I really don't want to be taking anything with me that I don't need/want, and I'll have enough on my plate with unpacking and organising everything to be dealing with Ebay stuff, so I NEED TO GET IT ALL SOLD NOW :rolleyes:

Someone kick me please :p ;)

[Sofa_Sogood]

OMG!!! I'd forgotten all about this thread until I just got an email in my inbox from where I'd subscribed to it ... cheers Sofa :p :D

Well, I made a start on my de-cluttering last month and ex took away a van load of stuff to be trashed/burnt in his big skip :o

As some of you know, I should be moving any time soon so I really need to get my a$$ into gear and get some of this stuff sorted out! I have 3-4 big boxfuls of stuff to sell on Ebay, but still not got around to listing them, and time is running out :eek:

My only saving grace will be that I'll have a spare room to stash stuff, possibly for a few weeks/months, when I move but I really don't want to be taking anything with me that I don't need/want, and I'll have enough on my plate with unpacking and organising everything to be dealing with Ebay stuff, so I NEED TO GET IT ALL SOLD NOW :rolleyes:

Someone kick me please :p ;)

No problem C_Q :D .... I'd lost this one too so did a search .... it worked for once ;) (I can't usually search properly :o lol)

Well done on last months decluttering :)

NOW GET TO E-bAY :D

P.S. From what I saw of the programme it had some good ideas .....

..... but some really naff ones.

[Sofa_Sogood]

I got my 3rd (and last lol) bedroom back at the weekend. It was just a case of using the available storage space I already had.:cool:

:D